Aloha Means Goodbye: the Leaving of Oahu, Part II

Aloha means Goodbye

Sunday May 2: I spent a while earlier today rereading my columns from earlier in our time here, thinking that I would cull interesting comments from the past and riff on them. After a while though, I realized that I was wasting my time. As I read through several of the early columns, especially those chronicling our first six months, I felt a measure of ickiness that I would liken to how one looks at their reminiscences of Junior Prom.

I’m not the same writer, nor am I the same man that I was back in December of 2007, so I decided to change direction with this column, my final installment from the island of Oahu, at least from this adventure.

Hawaii is a very unique place in which to live. I leave here in two days, and I do so with a myriad of emotions.

I am on one hand very excited. My wife has been given an amazing opportunity to bring her brand of awesomeness to the National level. I’m very proud of her accomplishments and of what she is going to have the chance to do in her new job.

I am excited too to return to the East coast. I’ve missed some things about living on there. I have missed the seasons, at least I think I have. Hard to say when the weather has been pleasant 99% of the days that I’ve lived on Oahu. It will be great to be closer to family and friends, and to not have to hop on a plane to enjoy something as simple as Irish Weekend in Wildwood, the HHS Alumni Picnic at Etra, or Oktoberfest in Berea. Proximity to my sports teams will be a major bonus too. I’ve got family and friends in the VA/DC/MD area that I am very excited to connect with and spend time with. It’s a good fit for our family at this time. Add in the chance to really nurture some of the kids interests though the magic of the Smithsonian, and it is very much like Morrissey once sang, like a “hand in glove.”

On the other, ungloved hand, I am sad inside to leave Oahu. It was not a simple choice to come out here, nor was it a simple process to have done so. Everything about our life changed when we left Jersey. It doesn’t feel quite the same way this time. This move seems less dramatic in some ways, and yet more so in others. When we left Jersey, the Twins were little, and the Bear was a baby, really. There was not the sense of place and time spent with them that we worried would be irreplaceable in the next place. Most of their regularities were based in the home, and we were moving our home. This time, we are changing the kids school, looking to start the Bear in Preschool, the wife is now going to be, as we say back home, a “big time muckety-muck.” A lot of things are changing, and while we are definitely going to a place that seems good for us all in a lot of ways, there is always the trepidation of change.

But, that is not really it. While I will admit, I feel like it is time for our family to move on from Oahu, as the actual end of our time has approached, I’ve felt less sure about it in moments.

Hawaii was not an easy place to live, at first. I chronicled some of my early difficulties on the site here, and now that I understand the life and culture of this place better, I look back on some of my early reflections with a little embarrassment. There wasn’t a manual available at the time, so we did our best, and I learned that time was what it took to make it work here. Once it became clear that we lived here, and worked here, things got better. But, after we seemed to pass through that Maginot line of culture and angst, Oahu became something that I had not planned it to be, which was home. The ‘not wearing’ of socks, ties, and long pants and other uncomfortable conventions of my old life not withstanding, the home and the life we have made here have more than become those things to me: Life, and Home. And Hawaii was where it has been, and when it came time to start getting ready to leave, I will unabashedly admit that I had and still have some trepidation as to whether moving to back to the fast-paced East Coast is not the best choice for us. In all honesty, I think it’s more a measure of “Things are working here, why frack it all up by leaving?“ but, when I think clearly, I do see that this move is a good one for us and our family. But I will miss our life here, I think.

It is a place of ridiculous beauty, so much so that I’m certain I’ve become somewhat numb to it. These days, when it’s rainy or cloudy, as it has been these last few days, I find myself thinking, “it still does that?” For me to even spend a moment thinking about what the weather is going to be like is completely out of order. There will be a rude awakening as we settle back into mainland life in that regard. And the thing about the beauty here, is that it is everywhere. The sewage treatment plant on the way to Kapolei stinks a little, but it’s surrounded by hibiscus and there are mountains in the distance. But, there is more to life than beauty, and the best view I have known here is the one I have enjoyed looking across the room at my family. So it goes.

Tuesday, May 4: this column got away from me a bit. We get on a plane in a few hours, and truth be told, we are all excited. I’m certain I will be miss Hawaii, but I think I’m not really certain of how just yet. Perhaps it’s the kind of thing that will really just take time to figure out. The last few months have been very hectic, and stressful, and good too, but it has been a long haul to get to this point, and right now, I find myself feeling very hopeful about the future, more so than I feel trepidation or sadness at leaving.

Perhaps that will change, and perhaps I’ll have more poignant things to say in a week, but right now, I am cranked up to start our new life in Virginia. After all, the best parts of my life are coming with me, and they were always the best part of the island anyway.

So, perhaps too soon, I bid you Aloha for now. Another day, another segue…