tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7424557122985536762024-02-20T10:12:58.172-10:00Aloha KugsA New Jersey Haole, navigating the unfamiliar waters of Northern Virginia.Aloha Kugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06120361414528917475noreply@blogger.comBlogger122125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-742455712298553676.post-45123890758270250282018-04-07T05:47:00.003-10:002018-04-07T05:47:55.108-10:00Please meet me over yonder!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I've had a great run here at this blog. I've really enjoyed my time under this umbrella. That said, I'm moving in a new direction. </div>
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I won't say this is the last post I will place in this space. But I will say that going forward, if you're looking for more from me, please click here to meet me at my new website:</div>
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http://robertkuglerbooks.com/index.html</div>
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Thank you for all your support! Another day, another segue...</div>
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Aloha Kugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06120361414528917475noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-742455712298553676.post-43058838820135979322018-02-10T05:59:00.000-10:002018-02-10T05:59:11.950-10:00The Only Way Out is Through. And You Can do Anything for just a Little While<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">Yesterday was a very long day.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Actually, it feels very much like I’m still
experiencing the same day without interruption.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>They’ve made some real strides with those hospital fold-out chairs over
the years, but there’s little one can do to block out the lights and sounds of
a hospital recovery wing, while still keeping one’s ear finely attuned to the
sounds of your child.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">Dad was proud to serve as the first line of nausea
defense. <span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Vomitus is normally my
kryptonite, but as I said yesterday, I had my “game face” on and I was on point.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Only had to change my shirt once, which was
good as I only had one extra.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">I won’t spend much time getting into the medical
details except to say that she did phenomenally during surgery and was a
trooper all day.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Sleep was difficult for
us both, and as I write this she’s asleep in her new fancy room upstairs, the
recovery center now behind us.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">The wife and I were together when her surgeon came out
and told us that she was in recovery and that it went “pretty straightforward
and she did great.”<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I didn’t, as I thought
I might, lose it.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I did however feel an
immediate relief upon exhale, and it felt like I’d been holding my breath just
a little for the past two months.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I felt
an immense sense of gratitude.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">I felt thankful for her doctors and nurses and all the
staff here at the hospital that have cared for out family in a variety of ways
for years.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I thought “Thank God” pretty
much right away and I meant just that.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I
felt grateful to our friends and family who’ve supported us all and my firstborn
in particular of late.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Honestly, I was just
so grateful that the surgery part was done and we could then focus on the “taking
care of her” part.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>The recovery, which
won’t likely be a cakewalk began in earnest yesterday, and that, at least, is
something we can be a part of.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We can
hold her hand.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We can remind her of how
loved she is.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We can help her stand up
and walk down the hall and feed her ice chips and stroke her hair and show her
Hamilton clips when they need to draw blood again.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We can be understanding and patient and all
of that stuff.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>But she had to get clear
of the surgery first.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I felt such a
sense of relief when the doctor came out and told us she was ok.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>It was like I’d been wearing ankle weights for
two months and then, upon taking them off discovered that while I still can’t
dunk, I can hit the backboard.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>It was a huge
relief.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">Overnight was a challenge.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>It’s bright and noisy and it was too warm in
our shared room.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>There were moments
overnight where it felt like morning would never come.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>They had to reposition her body every two
hours, so between that and dealing with the nausea, there was very little time
to sleep without interruption, if one could fall asleep at all.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">We’ve had two mottos over the last few days that we
really tapped into last night.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>The first
one is a line I’ve known for years, and it really fit.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>It’s attributed to like 5 different sources,
so who knows where it came from, except that I’m certain it came from someone
who went through some stuff.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">“The only way out is through.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">The only way to get her spine situated is through the
surgery.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>The only way to the nice room
upstairs is through the recovery room.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>The only way home is through the PT and recovery.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>The only way back to activity and school is through
healing up and learning to move again.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>She
seemed to connect to this one a lot, especially late last night when all she
wanted to do was something other than lay there and try to sleep.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We made it though the night and she’s
sleeping much more comfortably now that we are through the recovery wing.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">The other one was given to me by a good friend earlier
this week as we were talking about the impending surgery.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>She mentioned something that had been told to
her before she’d faced her own surgery.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>She said, “Let her know that while it will hurt, it will only hurt for a
little while.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>And you can do anything
when you know it’s only for a little while.”<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>I told this to my daughter on the eve of her operation, and it really
seemed to help.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We’ve repeated it
several times since then. It’s really helped.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>She’s been a trooper about her pain and a rock star with the nurses, who
have the unfortunate responsibility of making her uncomfortable on purpose at
times.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">Anytime I’m in the hospital, I reflect back on my own
visits there over my life.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>My own back
surgery in 2001, the birth of the kids, the wife’s surgeries.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Inevitably, I come back to the time I spent
in the hospital with my father during the end of his life.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I think of the years my eldest sister spent
in the hospital.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>She died when I was a
newborn, so I never got to know her, and I can only imagine what that was like
for her and my parents and sister.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I
always think of these things when I’m in the hospital.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I wonder if I’m the only one who does
that.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">I thought of them last night in particular when things
got a little extra challenging.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I
thought of my dad and my sister and thought, if they can get through their
challenges with grace and dignity, which they did, I can aspire to the
same.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I’m not even the patient this time.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">The only way out is through.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>And this is only for a little while.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>And my kid is a rock star.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike></div>
Aloha Kugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06120361414528917475noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-742455712298553676.post-19847531125853512842018-02-09T05:24:00.001-10:002018-02-09T05:26:54.628-10:00 Waiting on the All Clear: some things matter more than others<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">This is not really a column about football, I assure
you, but my beloved Philadelphia Eagles won the Super Bowl recently.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>My family and I enjoyed every minute of it,
all season long.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We watched and waited
and cheered and groaned and for much of the last few months, it was a huge deal
in our lives.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">And it is a huge deal. I’ve been living and dying with
the team for over 40 years.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I’ve
infected my children with the burden of being a Philadelphia Sports fan, and
there’s a lot about the shared experience that we have really enjoyed.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>It’s allowed us to share a level of
continuity with my parents and grandparents, who are no longer with us, but
were very much there in spirit this month when the Eagles FINALLY won a
Championship for the first time since 1960.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">We watched the games, sitting in the same positions,
with the dog to my direct left, Bud the Dinosaur on the small couch, Pengy and
his Eagles scarf, with Boyo sitting in his spot, me in mine, and so on.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We were very driven by mojo…and it seemed to
keep working, so we went with it.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I wore
the same shirts all season.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>In the days
leading up to the Super Bowl, I was excited and confident.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Those are not the usual emotions of an Eagles
fan, and that itself made me a little uncomfortable.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I didn’t know how to feel and many of my
fellow fans felt the same way. I was never really worried.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I didn’t know why at the time, but I do now. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">Watching the game itself was intense and occasionally
stressful.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>When we got to the end, I
felt like we had a real shot.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>When it
was over, there was an outpouring of emotion.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>It made me miss my parents and grateful that I got to share the ride
with my children.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">In the days following, I couldn’t stop watching the
highlights.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Every time that last pass is
flying through the air, I still worry that Gronk is going to come down with
it.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I feel relief every time.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We ordered all sorts of new Super Bowl
swag.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I went to the parade in
Philadelphia yesterday and it was an amazing experience.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I’ll tell that story another time, because as
important as the Eagles victory is, as transcendent as it is for a rabidly
loyal and frustrated fan base, as big of a Sea Change as it is for us all, as
big of a shift away from “Nega-delphia” as this cathartic victory may be; it’s
not the biggest thing going on in my life right now.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">My daughter is currently in surgery as I write
this.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>She has scoliosis that we’ve been
treating for several years now.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>It
progressed to the point that surgery was necessary.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>The operation was scheduled months ago, and
there have been tests and scans and other things to get ready for.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>And then there was our lives, and lots of other
distractions.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>The Eagles amazing season
was a very welcome one at that, but once the game was over and the euphoria
wore off, the next big thing for all of us to look forward to was a major
operation and months of convalescence and healing.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">So, as I write this sitting in the waiting room, I’m
reminded of a discussion I had after the Super Bowl.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Someone asked if it had sunk in yet that
they’d won and I’d said, “Not really,” as at that moment, it felt like it
hadn’t.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>It felt a little surreal, but I
found in the days to come, I didn’t have the same level of emotion about the
whole thing.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I thought going to the
parade would make it more “real” for me, and in many ways, it has.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Seeing the team and the trophy and
celebrating with all of my crazy brethren was truly satisfying.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>But the truth is, I realize now that the wife
and the whole family have been in surgery-mode for the last two months.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>While there have been those welcome
distractions, Christmas, New Years, time down the shore, football and other
sports, some new movies, eating stuff I shouldn’t, getting to my new gym,
considering starting a publishing company, time with friends and family ad so
on, I realize now we’ve all been in this and I have been locked into Daddy mode
preparing myself for this moment right now, where I’m waiting for them to come
out and tell me that she’s out of surgery and that everything went well and
that she’s going to be ok.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">That’s the release I’m waiting on right now.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>The last few months have been about getting
myself and the family ready for right now.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>Making sure everything’s ready at home, ready with the family and our
friends, making sure that everything is in place so that I can be here in this
moment, because as important as everything else in the world might be, there is
simply nothing more important than my children.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">I know that’s true of every parent, but there are
gratefully finite moments and circumstances where we are faced with that reality
so acutely and be viscerally and gut-punchingly reminded of how much our
children matter.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>It was pretty emotional
for me just now, seeing her in the hospital gown, laying on the bed as they
prepared to roll her into the Operating Room, where my status as “Dad” does not
afford me a seat.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I held it together and
we told fart jokes and she laughed and was smiling as they wheeled the bed away
from me.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I’m still holding it together
as I’m not allowing my brain to go off into the realm of “complications” or
“well, this has never happened before in this surgery” and other such nervous
speculation.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Rest assured, growing up in
a family very much touched by way-too-early deaths created in me a penchant for
leaning towards the hypochondriacal.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>To
this day, my brain takes me places when I worry that I don’t care for, but I’ve
learned to manage it.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I don’t have full-blown
panics when a loved one is late to call or arrive when expected, but I could.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">That doesn’t mean I don’t have moments where my mind
takes me to the worst possible outcome of relatively innocuous things, but
therapy and maturity have helped me manage all that.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>That said, the struggle was and remains real,
but my role as a parent has seasoned me somewhat.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>In the end, the only thing that matters is
that within the next few hours, someone is going to tell me that everything
went great and that the wife and I can go back and see her. <span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">That’s when I’ll lose it and I can’t wait.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Everything else, including the Eagles miraculous
run, has been a lead up to this, and rest assured, my “game face” is on.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Then the recovery begins, but that’s a whole
new thing.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>The whole family will be
ready, once we get that “All Clear” that I’m waiting on right now.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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Aloha Kugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06120361414528917475noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-742455712298553676.post-73501063048024966252017-08-07T16:13:00.002-10:002017-08-07T16:13:35.846-10:00Why we write. Beginnings and Endings.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">Friends and readers alike
might be aware of the fact that I’ve written another novel.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I’m hopeful that this one is better than the
last one, but I once again find that a completed novel has put me on a
collision course with New York City.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">Later this month I will
head up to one of the larger writers’ conventions in Manhattan, much like I did
in 2011.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>My goals are similar to the
ones I had six years ago, though not identical.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>Obviously, I am there to learn.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>The classes look great and I’m very much looking forward to taking the
time to step out of my own comfort zone and learn from professionals in the
industry and my peers.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I’m looking
forward to meeting other writers and meeting some new people and
networking.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I’m looking forward to
pitching my novel as well.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">My main goal in 2011 was
to take my first real steps into the world of writing and publishing and not
feel out of place.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I feel like I
accomplished that-like I fit in amongst my peers.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I felt welcome and like I belonged.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>That was a very significant thing for me at the
time as the bulk of that book, <u>The Geography of Home</u>, I wrote while we
lived in Hawaii, which was pretty far away from a great many things.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>It was nice to step into that world and not
feel out of place.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">In my heart, I think I
knew that book wasn’t good enough.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>The
industry has changed a lot.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>The book
garnered some interest and I had five agents ask to take a closer look at
it.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>They all passed in the end, but it
was a learning experience.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>They were all
polite and complimentary and I’ve been in touch with some of them since.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>One of the agents, who was from Jersey of
course, told me, “Listen, if it were 5-10 years ago, I might have taken a
chance on this as I really like your voice.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>But I just can’t go there today.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">Honestly, I still take
that as high praise.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I considered
revisiting it, and, I have a good eight chapters written of what could have
been a sequel/expansion, but I decided to put it away for good later that year and
I think it was the right choice.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I’ve
looked at certain chapters again once or twice.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>There are a few chapters I still really like and wish I could share
someday, but my time working in that world with those characters was at an end.</span></div>
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<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">I took a break from
writing anything, but soon enough the characters living in my head started
calling out for attention, as they are prone to do.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Oddly enough, ideas always seemed to pop up
while I was at church.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Many of my
initial notes and ideas are written on service leaflets.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I try not to overthink the fact that
inspiration came in those moments.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">In addition, I revisited
some older ideas that I’d shelved but none of them thrilled me.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Over the next year I found that there were
what felt like three distinct stories calling out to me, each of them very
different.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I spent time on each of them,
but one simply wouldn’t let me go.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>It’s
a quirky little story that became a novel that I’ve called <u>The Last Good Day</u>
and it’s dominated my creative time for over five years.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>These characters have been knee-deep in my
mind and in some ways have been bossing me around for much of that time.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>At over 83,000 words, my time as their
primary shepherd is done.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I had an
amazing team of beta readers who made the novel much better.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I’ll be working next week with a professional
editor for a second time to tighten a few things up and then it will be time to
pitch.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">The pitching process is a
little like a very short job interview and it’s kind of fun in its own
way.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>It usually results in one of two
responses:</span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 0px 48px; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;"><span style="margin: 0px;">a)<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt "Times New Roman"; margin: 0px;">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">Yeah, not for me but, good luck</span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 0px 48px; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;"><span style="margin: 0px;">b)<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt "Times New Roman"; margin: 0px;">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">Ok-Send me ___ number of pages and some
other stuff and I’ll look at it.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px 48px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">And then generally, one
hears back. <span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Last time I left NYC with
five “yesses,” meaning the agents/editors wanted to take a look.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>If I leave New York this time with that in my
pocket, it will have gone very well indeed, but it won’t be promise of
anything.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">Regardless of how it
goes, it will be the ending of something.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>Perhaps it will be the beginning of a next step with the book.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I’m hopeful as I still believe in this story
and its characters.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I only hope I haven’t
done them a disservice by having them be written by me, instead of a better
writer.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>That said, there’s little I can
do about that now.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>But it will be the
ending of my time all alone with these characters.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>If someone likes it enough to move it
forward, then it will be the start of a whole new process, a whole new chapter,
one in which I will remain knee-deep in the world of <u>The Last Good Day</u>.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>There will be edits galore and many other
steps and the opinions of people I don’t yet know to contend with, and that’s
all for the good.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I’ve had them all to
myself for long enough.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">And if no one likes it
enough to take that chance, if no one wants to move it forward, then it is
probably the end for this book, for now.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>While I believe in it and genuinely feel that it could find an audience
in the “Young Adult/People who love them” market, that’s not an area I’m
experienced enough in to navigate on my own.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>I’m not interested in self-publishing it at this point, though I’ve considered
re-branding this blog and moving it to its own server and releasing it in
installments, like Dickens used to do in the newspapers.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>That’s likely the first and last time that
Charles and I will share space in the same sentence.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>But, those kind of decisions are likely months
away.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I’m realistic though.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>One only must walk through Barnes and Noble
to figure out how many books there are being published, even in this
market.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>There’s a lot of content out
there and print/shelf space is limited.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">Honestly, it’s time for
me to get back to some of those other voices in my head, who’ve grown louder
now that Avery and Angela’s story is written down.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I believe in it and hopefully one day soon I’ll
be able to share it with you.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I’ll do my
best.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">I feel a little proud
that I’ve done all this, I guess.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>It was
a significant amount of work and time and I feel good that I’ve modeled certain
things to my children.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>It’s been a lot
of late nights and I’ve filled four handwritten notebooks before I sat down to
type it all.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I always wrote where I was
writing from with each entry in the notebooks, and reviewing them has been
fun.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Parts of this story were written
in, among other locales: San Francisco, London, Edinburgh, Cleveland, Buffalo,
Florida, aboard the Cape May-Lewes Ferry, Philadelphia, and of course,
Wildwood.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>The story is very much a time
and place one, but I’ve written it all over the world.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>It always seems to come back down the shore
though.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">Someone once told me that
they thought these writer’s conferences were like “Author Fantasy Camp” where
we plunk down our money and get to pretend we are “real writers” and “part of
the industry” for a few days.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I always
felt that was a rather cynical view and I told him so.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>In my experience, the people I’ve met, the
friends I’ve made both through conferences and other writing communities, those
of us who write don’t write because we want to.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>We write because we must.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>There’s
little choice in the matter.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">We write because to <u>not</u>
write simply doesn’t compute.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We fill
notebooks and church leaflets and random scraps of paper on a regular basis
because that is simply how we are wired to navigate the world.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>As such, we seek out others of like
mind.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We feel called to improve and
share our work because we must.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>It’s a
passion, yes, but it’s also simply who we are.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>I could no more stop writing than I could choose to stop letting my
fingernails grow.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I actually find a
great deal of comfort in this.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>In the
end, I suppose it doesn’t really matter if I ever get published or “make it” as
a writer.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I’m not doing it for you.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I’m doing it because I must.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">Back in 2011 at my first
big conference, I was sitting at a big round table as the opening keynote
speaker started his presentation.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>He
asked everyone to look around and see how different everyone was in the packed
room.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>And so, dutifully, we did.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>And then he started asking us questions to
which we were to raise our hands if it was something that applied to us.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I don’t recall them all but my hand and those
of many around me went up more often than not.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">The one that really stuck
with me was when he asked, “How many of you have had a moment where, as you
were writing, your characters rebelled against you and said, ‘yeah, that’s not
what I’m doing here?’”</span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">Pretty much every hand
went up.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>That was an experience I really
thought was unique to me.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>That was the
moment I knew I was in the right place.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>These
were my people.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">I don’t know what the
future for this novel is, at all.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I like
it.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>My Beta team was encouraging.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>My 12-year-old daughter likes it.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Regardless, as Peter Brady once sang, “It’s
time to change.”<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>One way or another this
process will change.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Maybe it ramps up
or maybe it joins its predecessor on the shelf in my office.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I believe in it though.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>And I’m ready.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">And I can hear the
excited chatter of the other characters in my head, Freddy Pinkerton most of
all.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>He’s been trying to bust loose for
years.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">That might make a decent
working title, actually.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>More on that
later.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>For now, stay tuned.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Thanks for reading.</span></div>
</div>
Aloha Kugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06120361414528917475noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-742455712298553676.post-23056696746307512992017-06-21T02:27:00.003-10:002017-06-21T14:35:13.948-10:00Trepidation vs. Blubbering Revisited. Or, then, there was middle school-how did this happen?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">Back in my day we didn’t
call it middle school.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Most people
called it Junior High or, if you went to SPS like me, you just called it
seventh and eighth grade.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I had the unique
experience of being in the same building with many of the same kids from grades
1-8.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>That’s pretty rare these days and I’m
not certain that’s a good thing.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I did
some papers on that model during my graduate work years ago and still stand by
many of my assertions and conclusions.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>But, that’s not what this column is about.</span><br />
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
</div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">It seems like mere
moments ago that I was sitting on the edge of the bed in our home in Ewa Beach
on the eve of the twins starting kindergarten.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>I wrote about that in this space then and just re-read that one
now.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I won’t reiterate the whole things,
but, as we approached the moment where the twins began their career as
full-time students, I, um, well, I kind lost it.</span><br />
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
</div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">I got emotional about it
to a degree that probably should have been embarrassing to me (I know it was
for the wife), but as I look on it now, I realize that I was reacting to the
first time they made that inevitable move away from what has been, towards what
will be.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>It’s the way life works and I
think I’m a little more mature and experienced as a parent now, right?</span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">The things I was worried
about then had as much to do with me and my comfort zone as they did about anything
else.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I had worries that the twin’s
relationship with one another would change, that their relationship with their younger
sister would change, that everything would change and it would never be the
same.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I worried that they wouldn’t want
to play together anymore and they wouldn’t want to be around me anymore,
either.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span><br />
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">Keep in mind, they were
only 4.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>They started kindergarten in
Hawaii and would later do another kinder year once we moved in NoVA.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>But, at the time, I was terrified of these
things.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We were in a good place, I
thought, and I worried that that one first step away would be the end of
everything we’d tried to create together.</span><br />
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">I left my career in education
for a number of reasons, all of them valid.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>Paramount among them, however was a desire to connect with my family in
a manner that I’d never had the opportunity to before.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I wanted to be home with the kids and by the
time they were heading to Kindergarten, I’d been doing it for two years.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We had a groove… It wasn’t always easy.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Actually, I don’t know that any of it was
easy but by that point, two years in, we had a pretty fair amount of mojo going
on.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Change scared me.</span><br />
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">“They can’t stay little
forever.”</span><br />
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">The wife said that to me,
late at night on the eve of their first day of full-day, five days a week
school, as I sat on the edge of the bed blubbering like a…well, I’m sorry that
I can’t think of a good reference here.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Feel
free to message me one-I’m sure there’s one there, but I was emotionally
overloaded at the thought of them moving out into the world.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I nearly hyperventilated with anxiety at the
time.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I’ve gotten better at handling
that since then, so, bonus, but I was really upset about it all and they were only
four!<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>It was Hawaiian “junior” kindergarten!</span><br />
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">This week, half a world
away from where their school journey started, they will complete Elementary
school and will begin seventh grade in the fall.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span><br />
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">So, how’d that happen? </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">They did what kids
do.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>They grow and they develop and they
change.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I find myself, at least for the
moment, feeling less full of trepidation than I was back in the day.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>That may change between now and
Thursday/Friday when the twins have their “transition ceremonies,” but I think
it’s a little different this time.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I’ve
seen them transition through so many things, without the benefit of a ceremony
even.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>They moved from Hawaii to Virginia.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>They started at new school.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>They started Scouts and played Soccer and
Rugby and Volleyball.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>The Boyo started a
new school in third grade.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>They’ve done
choir and Sunday School and played in the school band.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>They’ve done All County Chorus and Area Honor
Band.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>They’ve made friends and had
friends move away.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>They’ve taken tests
and run races and created art.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Boyo is
closing in on his Black Belt.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>J-Bird has
become a fixture at the Pyramid Art show.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>Boyo is an amazingly thoughtful gift giver.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>J is more empathetic than anyone I’ve ever
known besides her mother.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>They still,
along with their younger sister, like to play together.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>And as a family, we do an awful lot
together.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>That’s remained important.</span><br />
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">I still read to them all,
every night.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>The last few years I’ve
managed to find books/series that all three kids are into, so that’s out
routine.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I’ll do it with them forever if
they let me.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I’m getting pretty good at
voices.</span><br />
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">Now, none of this is to
suggest that we haven’t faced a pile of bricks worth of challenges.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>If you know me at all or have read in this
space at all, you likely know what they are.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>I’m not going into all of that right now as I don’t want to and don’t
have to.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>There have been a lot of days
that I wasn’t sure how we’d make it through.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>Hell, there’ve been hours that I wasn’t sure how we’d get through.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span><br />
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">Somehow, we did.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We got through those moments where I didn’t
know what to do or what to say.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Those
times where nothing made sense until we learned how it did.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Those moments where it became clear that I
didn’t know enough-didn’t know the right things to do about the challenges we
were facing.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>So, we learned-all of us
together and we continue to do so.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I’m a
different parent than I was when they were four and two.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I’m a different man.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I hope a better one, but I’d settle for
marginally adequate/meets expectations.</span><br />
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
</div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">All of us are a work in
progress.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I think that is perhaps the
greatest lesson I’ve learned since I sat on the edge of the bed and blubbered my
eyes out because I was worried that the kids wouldn’t want to play with me or
each other anymore after going to school and that my whole comfort zone was
once again set to implode.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>It didn’t
then, it just changed, much like it will again soon.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">I know every step they
take into that larger world is a step away from the life we have today but it’s
also a step towards the life that they will build for themselves.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I hope we’ve laid a good foundation, and I’m officially
and openly asking for advice on navigating middle school as a parent.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I’m not certain my experience in grades seven
and eight have prepared me for this any better than being a high school vice
principal/athletic director prepared me for being a stay-at-home dad in Hawaii.</span><br />
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">I’m feeling less
trepidation today then I did back then.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>Perhaps that’s growth.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Maybe it’s
confidence in the twins and their own personal brand of awesome.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Maybe it’s trust that the wife won’t let us
screw this up.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I suppose it could be surety
that the friends the kids have made and skills they’ve learned will serve them
well as they move into a whole new middle-schooly world.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Could be faith.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I’ve gotten better about seeing that and the
grace it entails.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span><br />
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">Or, perhaps when the
twins actually do their transitions, maybe in that moment I’ll completely lose
it.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>It’s possible.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I’m a human male of complex emotions, so that’s
certainly a possibility. But if I do, it won’t be because I am worried about
the future.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>It won’t be because I am
afraid about who they will become.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span><br />
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">It will be because I am
so amazingly overwhelmed by the distance that our whole family has traveled,
both physical and otherwise, to arrive at the moment we now have the privilege
to inhabit.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>It will be because I am so outrageously
proud of the things all my children can do.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>It will be because I am impressed with the way they both connect and
challenge their siblings.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>And their
parents.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>And their friends and
themselves.</span><br />
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">It will be because I know
that this moment that now approaches is one I could not see when they were
little.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>It wasn’t in my mind back then, as
our future at that time was more in flux than we realized.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>But here we are.</span><br />
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">So how did we get
here?<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span><br />
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">We worked.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We loved.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>We struggled.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We fought.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We made up.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>We celebrated.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We cried.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We said hello.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We said goodbye.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We said Aloha.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We ate.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>We drank.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We slept. We drew.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We painted.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>We played.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We walked.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We prayed.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>We planted.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We moved.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We grew.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>We sang.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We went to church.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We played records.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We listened to the radio.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We went to garage sales.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We created.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>We read.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We drew.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We folded paper.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We visited family.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We made new friends.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We kept the old ones.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We said goodbye to some friends.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We did genealogy.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We learned.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>We learned a lot, about a lot of things.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>We watched sports.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We got a
dog.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We found a place. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">I’m not going to say
comfort zone.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>That’s become hack for me
at this point, but I like very much where we are.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Where I am now.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>The space we inhabit.</span><br />
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">It is simply amazing for
me to revisit the things I wrote in this space back when they were little.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I’m so glad I wrote them.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I don’t think anyone else is, but I know I
like the fact that I can look back on my own ridiculousness.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>It’s therapeutic and there’s no copay for it,
so score one more for me.</span><br />
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">I don’t know how I’ll
react this week when they transition out of elementary.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I’m cool with that.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>It’s nice to look at myself and not find a
foregone conclusion.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I like who I am
now.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>That’s not something I’ve been able
to say with impunity throughout my life.</span><br />
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">However it all goes, I’m
amazed and astounded and deeply humbled to have the privilege to be a part of
the life of my family.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I’m reminded of
one of my favorite Hawaiian sayings: “Kulia I Ka Nu’u.”<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>It means, “strive to reach the summit.”<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I like it because it’s never depended on actually
reaching the summit.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Just that you
strive for it.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span><br />
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">I think let’s leave it at
that for now.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>If I blubber at their ceremonies,
perhaps I’ll have another column.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>As
always, thanks for reading.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span><br />
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike></div>
Aloha Kugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06120361414528917475noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-742455712298553676.post-12119198834082564512017-04-21T13:53:00.001-10:002017-07-13T14:41:08.729-10:00Just say thank you. Previewing the Acknowlegments of my as yet unpublished novel<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">Acknowledgments</span></u></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">I have been working
diligently on some revisions and edits to my partial submission requests since
my recent trip to Philadelphia.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>While I
feel like I’m making progress, I need a brief break and had the idea to just
write something silly today.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>That and I’ve
been reminded recently that it’s important to thank the people in your life
whenever possible.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>As always, as we’ve
discussed in this space before, I never like leaving things unsaid.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We always feel like we have all the time in
the world, until we don’t. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">I can’t be the only one
who has pretended to hit the game winning shot, given an Oscar speech to the mirror,
or fantasize the seminal interview with NPR’s Terry Gross from “Fresh Air.”<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I know in the privacy of our own minds, we
all probably do the same silly stuff.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>If
I’m honest, I’ve done some of those things more recently than is likely “cool”
to admit, but there it is.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I’m a
dreamer, you could say. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">As such, I’ve decided to
write the acknowledgements for my novel.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>It’s not yet published, but I don’t see that as any reason to avoid
putting it out there.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I suppose it could
change by the time it does all come together, but this is pretty much how it
would look if I were asked to write it today for its impending
publication.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">Acknowledgments</span></u></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">Writing
this book has been a genuinely interesting journey.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Calling it “a long, strange trip” seemed
hack, so I went with something else.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>These characters have inhabited my mind for a very long time and I am humbled
by and grateful for the chance to finally share them with the world. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">Along
the way, people have asked, “Are these characters and events based on real
people or are they completely made up?”<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>In answer to that question, I will say simply, “yes.”<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Beyond that, it is my hope that everyone will
find something to connect with in Avery and Angela and their adventure.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>A professor of mine at Wooster used to say, “once
you create something and put it out there, it no longer belongs to you.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Set it free and see what happens.”<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I think there’s something to that so that is
what I’m going to do.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">It’s
taken over six years to get to this point, and I have to start by thanking my
amazing team of Beta Readers.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Outside of
a free copy and that drink I owe them all, it’s a job that’s only perk is
getting to read the versions of my stuff that are really not ready for the
world.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>To a person they’ve been
positive, helpful, critical, and the book would simply not exist without
them.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Well, it might, but it would
really stink.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Their comments and ideas
helped shape the book you now hold in your hands and my gratitude is simply
immeasurable.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>So, to my good friends,
ATG, SY, JHE, GPK, HSK, and ACJ, I say thank you, thank you, thank you.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>And drinks are on me.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">I
want to thank my children.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Between their
patience with me when I had to finish one more paragraph, their interest along
the way, and the amazing way they look at what I’ve been trying to do and see a
creative way forward for themselves, I am so proud and grateful to be their
father.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Each of them have worked on book
projects of their own and seem to really enjoy it.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>When they talk about their future, they say “when
I publish” and not “if I publish.”<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I
like their approach there and more than once their encouragement has been the
thing that made me keep plugging along when, I felt like every word I was writing
was utter garbage.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>They gave me the
confidence to silence my inner critic.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>As
the late John Updike once said on NPR’s Fresh Air (I’m kind of a fan) “Any
sentence could be stifled by the critic in one, if you allow him to get the upper
hand,” and I’m notoriously bad at letting that critic run loose at times.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I like thinking that I’ve modeled something
positive for them, but in truth, their honest and thoughtful support has been a
model for me more than they probably know.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">Both
of my parents are gone now, but I think they would have really enjoyed my publishing
a book, this story in particular.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>Wildwood is where they met and it’s been a vital part of my family’s
life ever since.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>To this day, there’s a
stone at the Lighthouse Avery and Angela visit that my sister and I had made
for them.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>It says, quoting Bruce by way
of Tom Waits, “’Down the shore, everything’s all right.”<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I see Wildwood not merely as a setting in
this story, but as a supporting character.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>I know that my parents would have enjoyed that.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I also don’t think it’s the last time I’ll
visit it as a setting for a book…</span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">My
wife served as a Beta Reader, so I guess I’ve thanked her already.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">But,
I really haven’t.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I think it’s safe to
say that without the support of my wife, who I’ve known and loved now for going
on 25 years, I’m certain I wouldn’t be sharing this or anything else with
you.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>From the day we met she’s been my
biggest supporter, biggest cheerleader and loved me unconditionally, which,
knowing myself as I do, really could not have been easy.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>She never laughed at my dreams of
writing.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>All she did was say, “go do it.”<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Life in any family is occasionally complicated
and schedules and obligations abound, but she never gave me grief for staying
up to late writing, never complained about discussing scene after scene and
always brought me back from the brink of my own sometimes crippling self-doubt.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">If
this book, this story, these characters have an angel who’s been looking out
for them, it is most assuredly my wife.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>She never gave up on me and never let me give up on them, or my
dreams.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>So, as Gram would have said, I’ll
“just say thank you.”</span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">All
the people above have made this a better book which I hope you enjoyed.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>They also made me a better person, to which Avery
might say “that’s not nothing…”<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">It
really isn’t.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Thank you for
reading.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Stay tuned… </span></div>
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike></div>
Aloha Kugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06120361414528917475noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-742455712298553676.post-27491451193444304612017-04-09T08:56:00.002-10:002017-04-09T08:56:03.559-10:00Kugs says Aloha to Philly. Also, looking for a writers group.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">I love Philadelphia.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>As a South Jersey guy I’ve long considered myself having grown up, “Just
outside of Philly” which is not exactly accurate but people say it.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Technically, I grew up just outside of
Princeton, which again is not exactly accurate either, but we said it all the
time growing up.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>That or, “Exit 8.”<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span><br />
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">But I spent yesterday at the Philadelphia Writers
Workshop in Rittenhouse Square.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>It was a
nice event: well-run and organized and lower-key than the huge Writer’s Digest
Conferences, which is really what I needed as I once again dip my toes back
into the world of books and publishing.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">The classes were fun, covering style and revision,
publishing options, how to work with agents, and a fun but slightly nerve-wracking
anonymous one-page “Writers Got Talent” session.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>My one-page did not get randomly selected and
I’m kind of glad.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>The book is done but
on reflection I think it needs a further fine tuning and possibly a major
structural change.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>My pitches went well
and I earned five requests for partials which is awesome.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Now it’s time to get everything tight before
formally submitting the work, but I’m pretty excited.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">I was asked by a number of people in my life that the
process of pitching is like so I thought I’d discuss that a bit.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>It can be a little intimidating at first but
I find it pretty fun once I get comfortable with my pitch.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>It’s especially enjoyable if the person you’re
pitching to likes what you’re talking about and engages you about your
work.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">Essentially, you’re given ten minutes of time with an
agent or editor.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>It’s suggested you do
your research and choose those who work in your genre.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Also a good idea to know something about them
so you can chat briefly, personalizing your conversation with them.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>After pleasantries, you basically deliver
your pitch covering your characters, the plot and setting, what the conflict
is, where the choices get made and how things change for the character over the
course of the book.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>It’s a little bit
like presenting your written query in person, but the goal is to inspire
interest in the book and in you as someone to work with.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">If it’s a yes, they ask for a partial read.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Each agent/editor asks for something
different.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Some want the first ten
pages, some want thirty.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Some want a
synopsis with spoilers and others want a bio and formal query.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>If it’s a no, thanks for your time and shake
hands.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">So, over the coming weeks I will likely do some
revisions based on some advice and some of the things I gleaned from the
workshops.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>And then I’ll send them what
they asked for and wait.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">So, we’ll see how it goes.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I didn’t get as much time as I’d hoped for to
network with other writers. <span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I’m really
interested in that and thinking of exploring some of the writers groups here in
NoVA, or starting one if I can’t find one that works.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>That was a point a number of presenters made
yesterday was finding a community to help shape your work and to expose you to
the work of peers.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I think that’s been
missing for me so I’m motivated to see what’s out there.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">So it went very well and I have a solid path
forward.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>There’s more work to do, but I
was really encouraged by the response to my story.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Now to make sure it’s completely ready as I’ll
have one shot with these five professionals.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">And I’m not throwin’ away my shot…<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>(see what I did there?)</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">Aloha for now-I’m going to try to post here more
regularly so stay tuned.</span></div>
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike></div>
Aloha Kugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06120361414528917475noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-742455712298553676.post-51669344331346940812017-04-05T07:42:00.004-10:002017-04-05T07:42:41.400-10:00So, my kid is reading my novel....<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">So, there’s this novel I’ve
written and will be trying to sell this weekend.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>If you know me at all, this is not news.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>That said, if this is your first time here,
ALOHA!<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Welcome aboard!</span><br />
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">My oldest daughter is now
enthusiastically reading my novel, <u>The Last Good Day</u>.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I didn’t force her to or anything but I’m glad
she was interested to try it as she’s smack in the middle of the target
audience.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I’m also more glad, relieved in
fact that now that she’s plowed through ¼ of it, she likes it and is engaged in
the story.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">She’s finding more typos
than I would like, but at this point, I’m still too close to it to even see
them.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>And it’s been really encouraging
to talk to her about what she likes and what she thinks about the
characters.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>She knows that there are
some conglomerations of real people and events in the story and she keeps
inquiring about who people are and if certain things actually happened.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>No spoilers, but there was one anecdote told
in the protagonists’ backstory that actually happened to me in sixth grade
which she found confusing based on knowing me now, but we talked it out.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">While it’s been really
fun and reassuring to have her respond positively to the story, I find it
equally if not more exciting that on some level, whether or not this book ever
gets released, I feel like I’m modeling something positive for her and her
siblings.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>“Bird” as we sometimes call
her loves to write and is working on her own book.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>When she talks about her publishing future it’s,
“When I publish my books” and not, like I tend to think most of the time, “If I
can convince someone to read the whole thing then maybe…”<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Her head is in the right place and she writes
for the joy of it.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I needed that
reminder this week as regardless of what happens in Philadelphia, I wrote this
book not only out of a need to tell the story but because it was fun to do.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>There were times that the characters really surprised
me and others where they made me laugh out loud.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>One way or another it will soon be time for
me to move on from these characters and work on something else.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I’ve been wrapped up in this narrative for
over six years now and it is definitely time for them to get out into the
world.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I hope I’ll have the opportunity
to share their story with you formally.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">Whatever happens with my
pitches this weekend, there’s a reason they call it the writing process.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>This part is obviously very different from
the heady days when those first thirty pages come flying out faster than you
can type and those amazing moments when your Beta Readers tell you they like it
and give concrete feedback and suggestions to make it better, and then it
does!<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>This part is where I have the
chance to advocate not only for my book but for the characters themselves.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>They’ve done their part and now, it’s my turn.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I hope I don’t let them down. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">I’m pretty sure my
daughter is proud of me and that’s very important to me, and so far she likes
it.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>If my writing never amounts to much
at the very least, it’s given me a chance to connect with her creatively.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>If it never gets published, I’ll still have
been a model of trying something difficult.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>I’ll be disappointed if it doesn’t get a chance to find an audience
beyond my household and friends as, I really believe in it.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>But, should the industry pass and I joins
other projects back on the shelf, then I’ll get to model to my children what a
mature person (not something I’m often accused of being) does when something
doesn’t go their way.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">I’ll get to work on the
next thing.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>And that’s not a bad thing
either.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I know my good friend Freddy
Pinkerton is waiting for me to get back to his story…</span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; margin: 0px;">Thanks for reading.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Please feel free to peruse the other columns
here-they aren’t all about writing.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Many
of them cover our years in Hawaii, Craft Beer, my family, Sports, and of course
there are “The Duster Chronicles” from a few years ago.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Feel free to contact me through the comments
as well.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Mahalo for now!<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike></div>
Aloha Kugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06120361414528917475noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-742455712298553676.post-18939314250163629852017-04-03T03:22:00.002-10:002017-04-03T03:22:13.748-10:00So, I've got these new business cards...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">If we’re friends on social media, chances are you
already know that I wrote a novel.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>You
may even have participated in one of my “Help name a minor Character” thingys I
did along the way.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Those were a lot of
fun and genuinely helped me out a ton. <span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Between
all that and my intrepid team of Beta Readers, there has been a lot of crowdsourcing
on this project and I am grateful for it all.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span></span><br />
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">So, it is written and whether or not it’s any good is
up to the readers, but it is written.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>Such things become increasingly subjective the closer one gets to the
world of publication, but I did in fact once again create something that can
certainly be categorized as a novel.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">This new project is very different from the first
novel I wrote, years ao, which is currently well and truly situated in a box in
the guest room closet.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>That book was
about a number of things, including but not limited to answering the question,
“can I write a novel?”<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>It turns out that
I could and I did.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>That one did what it
needed to do and is safely shielded from you all, much like my live performance
at the Wooster Spotlight Showcase at Mom’s Truckstop in 1992 where, despite my
moving cover of Bob Marley’s “Waiting in Vain,” all anyone recalls is how I
forgot the words to “American Pie” after the 67<sup>th</sup> verse.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>(Too many damned words in that song, Don.)</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;"> </span><br />
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">There are parts of the first novel, <u>The Geography
of Home</u> that I still really like.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>There are a few chapters and some dialog that I think hold up, but it’s
not ready for the world and I’m not interested in revisiting it.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I processed a lot of personal in that one and
it’s served its purpose.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>It was a good
project to learn from and the experience of writing it, editing it, and trying
to get it out were valuable to me both then and now.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Writing has always been an outlet for
me.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I have piles of notebooks that
attest to that fact.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Like everyone else,
I’ve faced challenges, adversity, and moments both high and low.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I’ve always felt when facing any such moments
that I handled them best after putting pen to paper to process them.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">The current book, <u>The Last Good Day</u>, is a story
I’ve been wanting to tell for a very long time.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>It’s loaded with people and places and events that really pop for me,
and having a good portion of the action take place in Wildwood is a bonus.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Write what you know, they say…</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;"> </span><br />
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">So, I have a group of pitch meetings scheduled this
weekend.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>As I review my notebooks to
prepare for the selling of myself and the story in Philadelphia, where I’ll try
to convince people way smarter than me about publishing that my book is worthy,
I’m struck by the fact that this story kept poking me.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>The first words I wrote for this one were
written on March 2, 2011.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>“It’s only 8am
and I just made the train.”<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Honestly,
the story had been germinating for longer than that, probably years really, for
a variety of reasons.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Let’s just say
again, we write what we know.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Or
knew.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I have currently about four
different books living in my head, vying for attention and time.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>It’s hard to focus on more than one at a time
but <u>The Last Good Day</u> just kept calling me and I know why now.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">Whether or not anyone ever reads it, and whether or
not any of my pitches hit their mark and lead to anything this weekend or
beyond, this was a story that I simply had to write down.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>There’s a truth in it that I only see now as
I look back on the process of writing it and, if I’m honest, the moments and
characters that ring true in both the world of the book and the world of my
actual past.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>It’s a fine line.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">About a month after I started writing the first pages-all
handwritten, as the book is a journal-style narrative-I found myself on a bench
outside of Coit Tower in San Fransisco.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>I tagged along with the wife on a work trip and had several days to explore
the city and write, read, and explore the city.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span>I also must admit that I got into a loop watching a marathon of the old “Coming
Home” series on Lifetime where they helped soldiers returning from overseas surprise
their families in a variety of complicated ways.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I blubbered at them all.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">But I remembered writing at Coit, and in Union Square
Park, and at the Irish Bank and the Buena Vista Café.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I wrote a lot and ended up with more
questions than I started with but I remember leaving San Francisco in 2011 with
a basic plan and an outline and some excitement.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">But then, life happened.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I’ve chronicled much of that life here in
earlier posts so I won’t reiterate, but short version is that family life got complicated.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>But these characters still kept on growing in
my head.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>And other projects got my attention.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I have both <u>The Petulant Son</u>, and <u>The
Strange Case of Freddy Pinkerton</u>, competing for my time and attention.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I went back and forth with all of them but in
the end Avery and Angela, the protagonists of <u>The Last Good Day</u> wouldn’t
let me go.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">For fictional characters, they are quite bossy and
there have been far too many nights where I didn’t get to sleep or I got to
sleep way too late because they made it clear that they weren’t done with me
for the day.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Or, more irritatingly, that
they weren’t going to do or say the things I had planned for them.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>We worked it out but it is truly something to
be dictated to by a fictional character.<span style="margin: 0px;">
</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">So, the book is done and my beta team was awesome and
it’s been edited and re-edited and will likely be edited more if all goes
well.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>The business of getting it published
is a whole different animal than writing it has been and I look forward to
diving back into that world as I believe in this story. <span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>I think there’s an audience for it.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">I think I’ll write more about this process and about
the book in the coming days but it’s been interesting to consider the fact that
I’ve been actively writing this story for over six years and living with it for
far longer.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Time to see what kind of
legs it actually has.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>It’s a nervous
thing though, getting ready to sell yourself and something you’ve put such time
and energy into.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>The people I’ll be
pitching are looking for something they can sell and believe in.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>It won’t be personal if it’s a pass and if no
one wants it, I know that doesn’t mean it doesn’t have value or a chance to
grab an audience.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>This will be an
interesting week as I prepare.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%; margin: 0px;">I ordered 100 business cards.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>It’ll be either way too many or way too
few.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Stay tuned as there is more to come
this week, I hope.</span></div>
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike></div>
Aloha Kugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06120361414528917475noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-742455712298553676.post-4915405468319843762015-08-29T01:59:00.002-10:002015-08-29T01:59:46.330-10:00The Heart of the Matter: Don Henley, Impeccable timing, and the first week of September<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">As you may have heard,
I bought a car recently.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Not just a car…an
adventure.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">This isn’t about the car but
was inspired by it circuitously and kinda sorta, so if you haven’t yet, please
feel free to read the two most recent columns and catch up.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">And then read the rest and share them with
friends.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I don’t make any money off of
this thing but it makes me feel good to have my clicks up and it’s my birthday…</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Ok, enough about
that. I’m supposed to be talking about the
things in my chronically overlong title.
So, let’s do that. As most of my
stories go, it starts with some backstory…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">It was the first week
of September, 1990. I’m certain there
was something of note going on in the world but I had just turned 17, had my
license, had a car, and my world was falling apart. I’ve covered my father’s illness and death
here in this space a great deal, but if you’re new here, my father was dying of
cancer. He would pass in October of that
year. I was starting my senior year of
high school and handling it and a number of other emotional and personal
challenges with varying degrees of success.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">What does this have to
do with Don Henley? Well, not a ton,
actually. He’s the guy that co-wrote and
sang a really great song, “Heart of the Matter.” That in and of itself is not noteworthy here,
though it’s a great song and all you Eagles haters should just settle down and
hang in there. A good song is a good
song.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">This is all about
timing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Dad was in the hospital
and Mom was with him most days. My
sister had just graduated college and was out in the world creating her own
personal brand of awesome so, I had a lot of time to myself. I was at the hospital a lot too but school
had just started and it was decided among my parents that I should try to have
as normal a senior year as possible. So I tried. It was amazing how quickly going to Princeton
Hospital became a daily occurrence.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Among other things that
should be mentioned as this backstory gets longer, is that I had just had a
rather long-term relationship end, honestly as nicely as was possible, so that
was on my mind too in the first week of September, 1990. It had just been my birthday. I got as a gift for my 17<sup>th</sup>
birthday a car stereo of my choosing (within limits of course) to be installed
in the Nissan, not the old Duster, as for the time being, I was going to using
that car more often than not. So, I went
and picked one out and it got installed and it was as a wise man once said, “most
excellent.” AM radio AND FM, plus a sweet
cassette deck with AMS, digital display, and METAL to non-metal cassette
distinction options. Later on I even got
an adapter to plug my giant portable CD player into it…but enough about how old
I am. (42 is as special number!) It was
really cool and I had an extensive cassette collection (still do) and I was
really happy with it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">When I picked up the
car after the installation I started it up and the radio was all static as none
of the stations had been set yet so, I set about fixing that before I pulled
out of the parking lot. I started with everyone’s
favorite station in those days in Mercer County, NJ: 97.5 WPST, right out of
Princeton. The moment I tuned it in I
heard the opening chords of Don Henley’s “Heart of the Matter” and I just sat
there listening to it. It wasn’t a new
song really-the album it was on was over a year old, so I know I’d heard it
before, but never in that time and that place.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But have you ever had
that moment where someone said exactly the right thing at exactly the right
moment? Or just happened to be in the
right place at the right time for something significant to happen to you?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">This was that in every
possible way. The first song on the
stereo that would be the last gift I would receive from both of my parent’s plays
this song at that moment, when pretty much every lyric in the song speaks to
something that had significance to what I was not only experiencing, but also
the things I was avoiding. I was
avoiding the idea that I might have to learn to live without my father. I was avoiding the idea that everything
changes and that life goes on. I was definitely
“Carrying that anger” despite the fact that “it’ll eat you up inside.” I did that for a lot of years afterwards
too. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I know the song is, on
the surface a song about learning that a former girlfriend had found someone
else, and there was that too, but in that moment, the song felt like some kind
of dispatch, what some call a “God Moment,” where it seems like you’re being
sent a message. I sat there and listened
to the whole song in the parking lot of that car place out on Route 1 between
the Market Fair and the Mercer Mall and when it was over I turned off the radio
and drove off into Princeton, towards the hospital to see my dad, but I stopped
and parked somewhere first-I don’t remember where. It may have been our church, it may have been
my old school, it may have been right on Nassau Street, I honestly don’t
recall. I parked the car and for the
first time since all the changes had happened-since my dad was diagnosed, since
my relationship ended, since my world changed, since I’d been on emotional
cruise control for months, I really thought about what it all meant: what “learning
to live without you now, but I miss you sometimes” and “life goes on” and “I
lost me and you lost you” and “Forgiveness” means. There’s a lot going on in
the lyrics of that song, and so I thought about that and rather quickly, I completely
and totally lost it tremendously and cathartically. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">It was a good
thing. Cleansing to be sure, but it was
the first time I’d kind of let myself feel any of it to that point. I don’t think I’d been as honest and direct
with my friends about what was going on and I think I tried to remedy that in
the coming weeks. I remember feeling
much more at peace, if such a thing were possible after that I and I drove on
to see dad and had a good visit with him and mom was there too and we talked
with his doctor and later mom and I had our first real talk about what was
going on and how serious it was and what it meant to the family and what we
needed to do over zeppolis at the Pizza place at the old Princeton Shopping
Center. I wish I could remember the
name, but it was a good conversation and I remember driving home with my new
stereo-I had switched to the Jazz show on 103.3 WPRB as I didn’t want music
with words right then as I wanted to process what I’d just come to understand:
my father was dying and it wouldn’t be long.
I was going to have to find a way to live with that and become a real
person on my own. I was going to have to
talk to my friends and I did to some. I
wish I’d been more direct and honest with more of them. They were there for me after it happened in
droves and to this day I love them all for it, but I wish I’d shared more as it
was happening. Some of my closest
friends didn’t know my dad was that sick.
It was a lesson well learned. I
barely shut up about anything these days.
You all have Don Henley to thank for that I suppose…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">So, that stereo I got
for my 17<sup>th</sup> birthday went from the Nissan aka “Challenger” into the
Tracer aka “Bullseye” before I had it removed when I bought the first outback. I kept it in a box. It’s gone through several moves within Jersey
to Oahu to Virginia. It stayed boxed up in our laundry room here and then into
a box in the old shed that leaked and into the new pretty shed that’s awesome,
until I gave it to my new mechanic pals who installed it in the Duster. I was worried it wouldn’t play, but it works
just like it did back in the day. This
morning, I took the kids for their first ride in the Duster (I still don’t have
a name for her yet-working on it) and connected my old cassette adapter to my IPod
and we were rocking out to Bruce and Jimi, until it played “Heart of the Matter”
as we drove down the local Parkway. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">It was cool and a
little breezy this morning, and since the AC hasn’t been re-installed in the
Duster we had the windows open and the air was cool and a little damp. It reminded me of a morning back in early
October of 1990 a little actually, when I knew before I was told that my father
had died. Hearing that song with the
kids, in the car I’ve been dreaming about since before dad got sick, with all
of the significance that car turned out to have for me (as discussed in the
earlier columns;) was really a nifty moment.
I had a few memories that popped:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I remembered sitting in
that parking lot listening to that song and how it had helped me come to grips
with the relationships that were ending in my life and the fact that I was
going to have to figure out how to live my life in a very new way. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I remembered standing
on the high altar at church with my friend D. who arrived early to Dad’s
funeral and gave me a hug and held my hand for a long time and didn’t let me go
until I was ready.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I remembered talking to
my friend A. before the service about how I could possibly write a eulogy and
how she helped me through it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I remembered hugging my
Godparents in the room for families, so grateful they were there. I saw them recently so I wasn’t surprised to
have them in mind. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I remembered how my
sister’s friends had driven all day to come to the service and then had to go
right back to take the GRE’s the next day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I remembered the young woman
who held my hand through the very awkward reception afterwards, even though we
weren’t a couple anymore. She didn’t let
go until I was ready either. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I remembered other things
too but to be honest I only swam in that for a moment. They were all nice memories that I treasure
and have written about before if not here, then elsewhere.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But then I took a
breath and exhaled, and draped my arm across the front bench and put my palm
out towards the Bear, and she grabbed my hand from the backseat and held it and
then I thought about how fracking cool it was that I was driving my new old car
with my kids listening to that song. I
felt again, as I talked about last column, like something had changed. I felt calmer and a lot more at peace. I liked the moment I was in with the kids,
and I like very much the way it feels now in my memory-at peace sounds and
feels pretty sweet. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I told the Boyo, who
enjoys specific facts about songs, “Hey-you hear this song? This was the first song this stereo played
back in 1990 when I had it installed in Grammy’s old Sentra.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And he said, “That’s
cool.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And it was. The next
song that popped up on shuffle was Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’” to which
Boyo said, “YES!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">It’ll be 25 years since
that all happened soon and, while I wish I could say everything went smoothly
after September 1990, that would be untrue and generally uninteresting. There were a lot of years I still carried
anger and it definitely ate me up inside.
But I learned to live.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Now, as a delightful
postscript, the first week of September 1992 was a real winner. There was this really pretty blonde that
kissed me in the stairwell of her dorm on the night before classes
started. That worked out pretty well for
me. Impeccable timing once again… <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">If you’d told me while
listening to “Heart of the Matter” in 1990 that I was only two years away from
the love of my life well, I don’t know what I would have done with that. Probably
would have written an awful song or an even worse poem. Be grateful you only have to read me in this
form…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Today I am unequivocally
exactly where I want to be. My family is
healthy and happy, despite of and because of some of the challenges we face. I read to my children every night and it is a
source of enormous joy for me. They are
funny and fun and brilliant and artistic and thoughtful and amazing in ways I
can’t ever imagine having been as a child.
My wife is the greatest ever. I
am who I am because of my relationship with them and the rest of you fine
people. And I know that Don’s song,
which he said took “42 years to write and about 4 minutes to sing,” said among
other things that “Everything changes,” and that’s true, but sometimes it’s
not. I still love my parents although
they are both gone now. I love my wife
and my children and my sisters and all of our family; even the ones who like
Michigan. That doesn’t change but I
think we do-well, I won’t speak for all of you, but I think I have changed at
least a little. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The song also says, “All
the things I thought I knew, I’m learning again.” I used to feel that line very differently
than I do now. I used to take it as “I
screwed up and am re-learning stuff I should know.” I took it that way because that was absolutely
my experience. I screwed up a lot and
had to re-learn it a lot until I didn’t.
I like the line now though, as I feel like it’s possible to look back on
old lessons learned and learn them again in a new way. Like reading an old favorite book-one always
catches something new on a re-read. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Or maybe I just like
the song. Could be that. Could be that Don was writing the song at 42,
like I just turned while writing this.
Whatever it is, the song, the stereo, the car, the first week of September,
whatever it is, in the end, I think the Heart of the Matter has never made more
sense to me than it does just now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
Aloha Kugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06120361414528917475noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-742455712298553676.post-15955126137595424302015-08-20T03:17:00.003-10:002015-08-20T03:17:50.787-10:00Something has changed. The Duster Chronicles Concluded: Closing the door on the past.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">So I bought the
Duster.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I’ve kinda made a thing about it
over Facebook and in real life too, so it’s not likely new information for you
if you’ve clicked on my link to check this out.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">
</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">That said, there’s a story to tell.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">So I flew up to
Hartford, CT this Monday where my dear sister met me and we ventured deep into
the wilds of Worcester County, Massachusetts.
It was an area of New England that I’ve never been to and was very
picturesque. It reminded me of parts of
Salem County in South Jersey, and other parts of that area on the way to
shore. The people I worked with when I
was at PG used to call it “God’s Country” and I can see what they meant:
beautiful and quiet and peaceful and full of promise. It was nice.
We drove to the seller’s house and got the grand tour of the property
and met his three-legged dog. He showed
us the garage where his cars are-he had some other amazing cars too, including
a mid-fifties De Soto that seems to be his passion. All the other cars were awesome, but my eyes
were looking for the unassuming hunter green number I’d seen in the
pictures. When I saw it, in person for
the first time, I was equal parts excited and nervous as, while it was pretty
serious when I booked a plane ticket and equally serious when I went to the
bank, standing in front of the actual car was pretty much “go time” as
Mandelbaum might have said. It was time
to make a choice, but of course, it’s never simple.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I had consulted friends
and family and experts far and wide. I had
the support of all of these people. I
was standing in front of a really gorgeous classic car in amazing condition and
while I could feel the excitement in my gut, I found myself, for a moment,
falling back into a pattern I don’t like.
In the course of several minutes I vacillated between “This is a great
car” and “Kugs, are you out of your mind?” and “Look dude, it’s hunter green
which is like your favorite color and not that far off of the Eagles color” and
“Is this a responsible thing to do?” and “Why not model making a fun choice for
your kids in a way that is meaningful” and then “Where are the seatbelts? Will anyone be able to help me with doing the
work it needs? Why doesn’t the AC or Radio work?” but then, I thought, “It’s
really a nicer looking car than the one I had back in the day…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I went back and forth
like this in my head for a minute, but then, I had a moment of clear and cogent
anxiety where I wondered, and not for the first time, “what if buying this car
is a life-alteringly bad choice and I still make it and I choose to invest time
and money in it and the car blows up on the way home and I die and everyone
wonders what the hell you were thinking?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And in that moment,
being an experienced person with occasional outrageously silly yet powerful
anxiety, in knew that I was seeking a reason to walk away instead of really
looking at the situation, measuring that facts and making a rational
decision. I was building to a panic to
give myself an excuse to run away. It’s
something I did a lot of after Dad got sick and later died. Anytime someone got close to me, either as a
friend or as more than that, I got overwhelmed and ran away or pushed them
away. I was unkind to a lot of very kind
people in those days until the Wife essentially smacked me upside the
metaphorical (and actual) head and said “enough” and helped me heal from that
stuff. I’ve talked about those days here
before, but I found it interesting that that same sort of impulse crept up in
me with this situation. It hadn’t when
we bought the Beach House and it hadn’t in other difficult times since. So, why did it happen here and how did I deal
with it?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The “why” is not that
difficult to understand now that I have had a few days to think about it. Despite my penchant for taking the family out
or making a special meal at home or embracing the awesome power of YES in
Wildwood with the kids, I generally don’t spend money in a big way, ever. So, I’m not used to doing it when it’s not
related to real estate and my wife’s not telling me where to sign. So, it was a lot of money to part with. I wondered if I was being selfish, frivolous,
insane, mid-life-crisis-laden…all of that. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">More than that, I think
there was some aspect of standing in front of that car that brought me back in
time to 1990. To that time before Dad was
sick and when all I had to worry about was my girlfriend, my friends, my
grades, and that I couldn’t wait to turn seventeen and get my license and drive
my Duster all over Mercer County, maybe even take it down the shore when my
folks thought we were just going to the movies because they didn’t want us
driving that dark crazy road to Seaside.
Those spring months before Dad was diagnosed were so full of promise,
that’s really the only word. I was
sixteen and junior year had had its moments that I won’t get into here, but as spring
came around, Dad and I had started to really understand one another and have
some things in common. We’d gone to the
driving range and planned to golf together.
He’d helped me develop a workout program and we did some things together
at a local gym. The big thing was that we
made a plan to build a deck off the back porch over the summer. We’d done some sketches of how it would
look. He was going to put part of his summer
painting money with Mr. D, and I was going to chip in some of my summer job
money too. I didn’t know how to build
anything that wasn’t a theater set, so I was looking forward to learning and
doing something “Manish” with my dad. As
the spring moved on, I had a steady girlfriend of over a year who was away at
school, I had good friends, I was doing well in some of my classes, I was in a
really cool musical that was winning awards, I went to Prom with a good friend,
I went to my sisters college graduation and most of the family (21 people) came
and no one fought at all, not even a little!
Everyone got along-that was pretty awesome. I remember driving home from that graduation
feeling really positive about our family-everyone, all the Uncles and cousins
and Gram had come and everyone had seemed to have a good time. I think Mom and Dad even let me drive a
little on the trip since I had my permit.
Everything seemed so positive coming out of that weekend and I remember
getting home and seeing my original Duster in the driveway and feeling like it
was only a matter of weeks until I’d get my license and we’d be free to be. Pretty sure I washed and waxed ‘ol Monstro
that weekend after we got home. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">What I didn’t know was
that Dad hadn’t been feeling well for some weeks. He faked it good but finally Mom dragged him
into the old MET place up on 130, our version of the “Minute Clinic” I
suppose. Soon after pretty much
everything changed. My life went from
trying to get off of work to see my friend off to the Prom or to hang out with
my girlfriend all the time, or performing at theater competitions to navigating
the parking garage at Princeton Hospital and having my smart friends explain to
me what the hell platelets were. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I reviewed my old
journals for this section and it is glaringly clear when the change
occurs. It goes from an entry on the
Surflight Theater Festival “It was such a beautiful day-we went to the beach-I
love the beach! There is always a
special place in my life for the beach.
I practically grew up there. I think
I will always need that in my life” to “Ohhhh-well, I knew it seemed funny when
my dad was so tired…” in the course of days.
Most of the entries after that deal with hospital visits. Some mention of All State Chorus and a
breakup and friends and stuff. There are
several entries I’m embarrassed by, but I was a kid going through a difficult
time. I forgive myself. Some relationships ended and others were
strained and it was a difficult time, as we’ve discussed. It was a shit time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">So why was I ever so
slightly brought back towards this mindset and these memories as I looked at
the Duster? Probably because I have
always been a person that attaches meaning to things-to people-to places-to
events. My friends used to call me
“overly sentimental” but I think it’s not that exactly. I think it’s more that my mind connects
things when emotions are involved and for better or worse, when things happen I
have not only the feelings and the memories, but also things to connect them
to, people and writings and music and the like.
Connections. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Earlier this week when
I stood in front of the Duster, there was clearly a moment where I flashed back
in time and it was not the sixteen year old kid looking at an exciting future,
but rather the seventeen year old kid who was watching his world fall apart
inhabiting my headspace. Neither of them
were particularly welcome, but less so that seventeen year old dope.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I was grateful in that
moment that my sister was there as the cars’ owner seemed quite content to chat
with her while I asked for a minute to “make a call.” (What did we do before smartphones?) I took out my phone and just walked out
towards the tree line. It was a very
pretty area and I only needed to go fifty yards or so to be out of earshot
which was where I wanted to be. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">As I look back on it
now, I know that I was scared. I was afraid
to buy the car because I wasn’t sure it would be able to drive me home. I wasn’t sure it was in as good condition as
it seemed. I worried that I’d have an
accident. I worried that it was too much
work or that it was selfish of me or that it was narcissistic to even want
something like this. I was approaching panic
attack levels of stress. I messaged with
Uncle C and my wife and talked with a Classic Car repair place down here in
NoVA and everyone had great answers for all of my concerns. Everyone said that it’s ok. Go for it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But I was still
anxious. My sister made a great point
saying “Don’t think about the money.
That’s not the issue. Is this the
car that’s going to fulfill that dream you have?” It was a great question. I wasn’t sure. Then I took it for a drive.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I drove down the street
in Oakham, past their library and an old cemetery and some nice houses on a
long road before turning back and returning the same way. I liked the way the car felt and
sounded. The radio didn’t work and I
didn’t put something on my phone as I just wanted to drive. It was quiet.
The lack of power steering and brakes made me have to work harder and
pay attention differently than when I drive the Odyssey. I liked the quiet and it reminded me of the
first time I had driven my old Duster at sixteen, around the school parking
lot, the deep and sonorous sound of the engine and the feeling of magnificent
control that the lack of power steering provided-I felt like a ship
captain. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">By the time I parked
the car back at the sellers’ house I knew I was going to take it home. I had some negotiations to make but I felt
like some sort of change had already occurred on that short test drive. We made a deal and I drove it away for the
short ride back to Connecticut. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The next day I woke up
early to drive it to Virginia. With no
working radio and wanting to preserve my phone battery, I drove in silence
quite a bit. With no AC and the windows open,
I had plenty of noise but found a great deal of pleasure in the silence, the
natural audio haze of the road. It gave
me ample time to think and reflect and pray and sometimes I did those things. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Sometimes I didn’t and
it was in those moments that I felt something like an exhale happen within
me. Something like a release-like
letting something go and it all being ok.
I don’t know that I’m certain exactly what that is just yet but I know
that it would not have happened without going through this process and being
forced out of my comfort zone once again.
None of this happens without the advice of friends all over the world
nor does it happen without the kindness of friends of friends who are willing
to help just because the friend of a friend asked. It never happens if one is stuck in the
past. It doesn’t happen without the
support and enthusiasm of one’s household, to be certain, but it most assuredly
doesn’t happen if I didn’t really want it to and finally got out of my own way
to do so.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Whatever becomes of
this Duster, (still working on a name) it was a choice to be made and I made
it. Those moments of silence on the road
bringing her home were transcendent in a way.
I won’t go so far as Thoreau about it, but I felt very early on in my
360 mile drive home that something had changed.
I was peaceful. I felt like
things were going to be alright and that I needed to continue to have faith and
work hard. It made me feel like I had
moved on from something to something even better and that everything was going
to be fine.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Whether that’s the case
of course remains to be seen. I like how
I feel owning this car now though and I think I’ve grown into not only the man
I am now, for better and worse, but have grown into the guy that owns this
car. I hope it’s a good car and that I’m
a good man. I feel like bringing this
car into my life is giving me the opportunity to bring some level of closure to
the past. I think I like thinking of it
that way, though I’m tempted to wonder, “What would have become of me had my
dad not gotten sick and my life were different and I never got stuck on a
1970’s Duster?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I don’t know the answer
to that any more than the other “What if” scenarios I used to torture myself
with all the time as a kid and young adult and adult and maybe last week. I don’t know anything about that but I do
know that I love this new car. I know
that I love and appreciate my family. I
know that I’ve been very blessed in my life.
I know that my past has often held more weight over my present and
future than I would like at times, but I also know that that fact may have just
changed for me. There’s a calmness here
that works for me and I hope it’s not fleeting.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I know that something
changed on the ride home. I hope that
whatever it is helps me be a better father, a better husband, a better brother,
a better son, and better friend, and better man, a better person. I hope that very much. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Can a dream fulfilled
do all that? Can a car? I don’t know honestly, but in the end, I
think the image of the kids running out to see the Duster and sit in it and
taking pictures of themselves, and the image of picking up the wife at the bus
stop and driving her home the other night are amazing starts. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I was told to step out
on faith during this process. I
did. The promise that my original car
held is very much part of the past. I’m
ok with that. Letting go of that might
have been a vital part of all this as now I find myself looking more to the
future and at our present. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Perhaps that’s the most
important change. Perhaps it is time to
look forward instead of backwards. What
could be better for that process than a 1970’s Duster?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
Aloha Kugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06120361414528917475noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-742455712298553676.post-54101030037045812112015-08-13T11:07:00.002-10:002015-08-13T11:07:44.734-10:00Bucket lists, Comfort Zones, and the Potential of a promise of a Plymouth Duster <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Why do they call it a bucket list anyway? I mean, who puts things of value in a bucket? I’m sure there’s a logical explanation but I don’t feel like googling it just now. I’m too excited and nervous.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">So, here’s the backstory. My older sister had a 1974 Blue Plymouth Duster that she drove through high school and beyond. We called it “Monstro” after the giant whale in Pinocchio. We were clever. I loved that car and when she was ready to move on from it I bought it from her for $500-a tidy sum to me then as well as now. I was sixteen and not even legal to drive yet, but I owned a car and the promise of freedom and excitement and, truth be told I was just in love with that thing and all it represented. I still have the handwritten receipt that we wrote on an index card somewhere in a box. I washed it and waxed it and treated it magnificently. I saw such promise in it. It wasn’t the BMW’s or Suzuki Sidekicks that some of my classmates were driving and it certainly wasn’t the convertible ’68 Mustang or Vintage Oldsmobiles that some of my friends drove-those were awesome! I felt like my Duster fell somewhere in between all that-cool, but not head-turningly so. I liked it. It had character. The car needed a few repairs and I was saving up for them in the months leading up to my seventeenth birthday.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">It was during this time, however that my father developed the cancer that would take his life. Needless to say the car and its needed repairs and pretty much everything else in my life got put on hold. When my birthday came, my former girlfriend took me to take my road test in my mom’s old Nissan Sentra. That one was nicknamed “Challenger” for a variety of reasons. I received a new car stereo as a birthday gift from my parents and it was decided that I would have it installed in the Sentra, “…for now. We can always put it in the Duster later.” It was a difficult time and a lot of it blurs together now but the Nissan became my daily use car and my hope was to get the car up and running in time for the Senior Prom, at least in my mind. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">After Dad died a lot of things changed and a lot of priorities shifted and I’ve talked about that in previous columns here before so I won’t belabor it, but in general, life became very much about somehow muddling through the rest of High School and getting myself into a college. The Duster didn’t make it to Senior Prom (my lovely date was probably ok with that ;) and my new plan had been to work towards saving up for repairs over the summer so that it would be ready to cruise the shore the following summer, after my freshman year of college.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">When I left for college, I remember patting “Monstro’s” hood and thinking that it was getting to be time for us to fulfill the promise I had felt when I’d been allowed to test drive it in the elementary school parking lot at sixteen. I had to pretend I’d never driven a car before but I think I pulled it off. When I settled into my dorm room I remember hanging a few pictures of friends of mine, mostly in formal wear in front of the car-it had become kind of a thing for us-Proms and semi-formals, I’d usually do a picture with my date or friends in front of it. And then I went about having a freshman year. I didn’t think much about the Duster until I came home for Thanksgiving Break and noticed its absence from our driveway.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">“Um, Mom, where’s my car?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">“Oh, I sold that to one of Mac’s friends. He needed a car to drive to Texas. The Sentra can be your car now. It’s newer anyway and your stereo is already in it.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">She’d taken $200 for it. It had been a hard year for all of us with Dad passing and the challenges that brought. I don’t know how, but as I recall I don’t think I said anything to her about it at all. I just said, “ok, mom.” I never really told her how it made me feel to have that dream, that promise, so suddenly and irrevocably interrupted. In the years before she passed we would kind of joke about it, but there was a small part of me that was deeply and profoundly disappointed. It seems a silly or possibly even selfish thing for me to have felt, especially considering the year our family had had. But the memory of that promise lingered.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Life moved on and “Challenger” gave way to a ’91 Mercury Tracer that we nicknamed “Bullseye” because people kept hitting it with their cars. Then there were the Outback years, which ended when we sold my Green Outback before moving to Hawaii. Our family has been a one car, Honda Odyssey family ever since. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Over the years, I would peruse the old “Auto Trader” magazines and once the Internet became a thing I would check online for a ‘74 Duster now and then. Craiglist and Ebay would occasionally present a temptation and then real life would pull me back in from those fantasies. In my heart I always hoped I would get the chance to have one again but as the kids got older and our priorities shifted, fantasy was just about where I had to leave such thoughts. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">While I loved the car, I’m not a mechanic or even all that knowledgeable about classic cars, so I always felt intimidated by the prospect of even pursing one for real. That said, every now and then I would see one on the road and it would all come back to me: that dream of freedom and driving down the shore with the windows open and just the promise of fun-it was about fun and being open to it that would make me start to search all over again. If you’ve known me for any length of time it’s likely you’ve heard me talk about this a little or maybe I’ve talked your ear off, (I can do that, I’m told) but while I would look occasionally, it never really went anywhere. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">That is until last week. The wife’s Uncle, who is a big-time car guy and among my favorite people, has been keeping an eye out in his world for a Duster that would work for our family. I told him last summer at a family wedding that all I really wanted was “A Duster that’s in good shape that we can actually use as a car for the family.” I don’t need to be a Car Show guy or garage the thing and never use it. We’ve managed as a one car family for almost eight years now, though we get a rental 4-5 times a year when we simply can’t get things done with the one vehicle or public transport. As the kids’ lives and activities get more involved, it’s become increasingly difficult to manage.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">So, Uncle calls me while we are on the concession line before we saw “The Shaun the Sheep Movie. (Excellent film) He says that he’s found a possible car for me up in New England. Says he’s talked to the guy and likes what he’s heard so far. He gives me his number and says good luck and to keep him posted.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">So I call the seller and I like what I heard too. It’s very low original miles and that it’s been garaged pretty much for ever. He sends photos and Uncle and I and anyone else whose opinion I could get pore over them. Long story short, it looks promising.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">But beyond that, something started to happen as I learned more about the car and the people involved. The previous owner had bought it from the original owners’ family back in the late 1990’s. He had a Duster in college and wanted to revisit that experience as an adult. That certainly resonated with me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">So I liked what I was seeing and liked what I was hearing but, I figured there’s no way I should really think about this right? This isn’t the sort of thing people actually do, is it? I started to get a little intimidated by the process and started looking for someone in my life to talk me out of this and off the ledge. I asked my wife, my cousin, my sister, my friends, my in-laws, my financial advisor, total strangers, the kids, our fish, God and anyone else that was in ear shot. “What do you think?” I asked. Outside of a few logistical and safety related inquiries, in general almost to a person the response I got was “Go for it!” My finance guy even asked for pictures. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">So, no one was going to take this cup away from me. I was either going to have to drink it or pass on it all on my own. And it still kind of scares the daylights out of my. But I was reminded of something my pal said to me when we were debating whether or not to make the move to Hawaii back in ’07. I was having real anxiety about leaving Jersey. He said to me, “Dude, this would be a huge move out of your comfort zone, and you seriously need to be moved out of that-take a chance.” And we did, anxiety and all, and it turned out to be a very good thing for our family. So I’m reminded of that in this process as every potential roadblock to this coming together has miraculously worked out. I wanted an “impartial car-guy” to look it over for me but didn’t know anyone up there…and a friend found one. I didn’t think I’d be able to get the paperwork to drive it home and wasn’t going to ship it…and a friend found a way for me to take care of that. I figured I was being selfish and didn’t deserve to even think about doing something like this and while I still don’t think I deserve it, I was told by the wife that, as long as she gets to drive it too, it’s something the family needs anyway. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">So, I’m going up to see it in person next week. I don’t know for sure if I’ll be driving it home or flying home alone but, I only booked a one-way flight. So I know what I’m hoping for but plan to be smart about it. I’m nervous and anxious but only a little more than usual. Realizing that is actually quite a bit of growth for someone who has struggled with anxiety in the past. When I really look at the things I’m anxious about as this process pulls me further from my comfort zone, I find that it’s probably a good thing to be a little scared. Buying anything from 1970 is likely a risk these days. But I find my anxiety is tempered somewhat by my excitement. I won’t know until I put my hands on it and sit behind the wheel whether or not I’m going to buy it, but I can’t wait to find out. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Life is short. The years I owned my old Duster, where our time together was over before I got to really enjoy it were turbulent and challenging. This won’t be that car any more than I will be that seventeen year old kid and I’m glad for that. It’s been over twenty years but I feel like I’m ready. If this one doesn’t pan out I’ll be disappointed but, as a wise man told me recently, “there’s always another car.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I’ve been chasing this car for years and I feel like I’m pulling into the parking lot where it’s waiting for me. The kids think it’s cool. The wife thinks it’s cool. Outside of that I’m not sure what else I need. I’m not sure I did a particularly good job of explaining what this possibility means to me but I’m not sure I can articulate it. I just know I’ve felt like I had a place in my heart and life for and old car. I’ve always felt like it might bring full circle that feeling that anything is possible that I remember feeling before my dad got sick. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Or maybe I just want to look like a badass in the Pickup line at school…I dunno, but I hope to find out. Stay tuned.</span></div>
</blockquote>
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Aloha Kugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06120361414528917475noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-742455712298553676.post-7388358162752823362015-03-27T03:52:00.002-10:002015-03-27T03:52:41.143-10:00Confessions of a Restaurant Lifer; or, Life Lessons from Leroy<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">I was asked today how
many years </span><span style="font-size: 18.6666660308838px; line-height: 37.3333320617676px;">I've</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"> worked in the restaurant industry and, as is quite appropriate
at my age and never-stellar math skills, I had to use pen and paper to do math
to come up with an answer.</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">There’s a few
ways to answer that question and one of them is like this:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">My first restaurant job
was serving as the dishwasher in Cranbury, NJ; ironically at their
Colonial-themed place, in 1988. I was a dimply
and pimply faced kid of fourteen and I found out I was going to be doing this
job mere moments after I hopped off the bus the last day of my freshman
year. I was anxiously looking forward to
a summer full of hanging with friends, swim meets, going to the shore and
generally relaxing after a pretty intense year.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I bounded into the
house, tossing my bag on the floor and planning to veg out in my room and
listen to Living Colour’s “Vivid” and read through my yearbook. I’d been planning it all day-ever since a
certain girl had signed my yearbook and I had, with great restraint, forced
myself not to read what she’d written until I was home and could properly enjoy
the moment in private. Perhaps I’d even
make some calls on my brand new rotary phone that I’d earned by spending the
year on the Honor Roll…heady stuff, I know. (To my younger readers-a rotary
phone is that old clonky unit with the dial thingy and no touch screen.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">As my bag plopped on
the ground, my mother was already walking towards me, slinging her purse over
her shoulder saying, “Turn around, you’re going to your new job.” I was shocked and appalled at the sudden and
immediate end to my summer and possibly childhood, but as usual I did as I was
told and grumpily marched to the old Sentra, and off I was driven to learn the
basics of my first real job. I’d mowed
lawns and shoveled snow and done other things to earn cash since I was like 8,
like many of us from my generation, but I’d never worked in a business, until
then. The owners and managers of the Inn
were very nice and they were very pleased to have me come on board (at minimum
wage, which had been among the sticking points with Fred, my predecessor on the
dish line. I learned later that he moved
on to a “lucrative” career in telemarketing).
Everything had been pre-arranged by my mother, who had packed my bike
onto the back of the Sentra (which we had named “Challenger” years earlier) and
told me to enjoy the ride home whenever they were done with my training. We didn’t wear bike helmets back then,
either.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I was shown around the
“front of house” which is what we call the area where guests are present. I was told I wouldn’t see much of the front
of house as a dishwasher, but it was important to “know what’s what and where
stuff is.” They spent considerable time
showing me the guest restroom facilities, as cleaning them was part of my new
job description as well. (Again-another
point of contention with ‘ol Fred.) When
we finally made it to the “Back of House,” my head was swimming. I was only 20 minutes into my new career, but
you must recall, this had not been previously discussed in any way, shape, or
form. Usually, when I came home from
school, I was the only one there for at least an hour before my dad came home,
and then my mom. To have her not only be
there at all, but to then completely alter my world-view in the course of an
hour was a record, even for us. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">They brought me back into
the kitchen, which was very large and intimidating at the time. As I walked in, I remember seeing the prep
area and several ovens the size of which blew my mind. It felt at the time like that scene in “Star
Wars” where (spoiler alert) Obi-Wan chops that guys arm off in the Cantina at
Mos Eisley, and everyone looks over for a silent and awkward moment. There was music playing in the background,
“Here comes the Sun” by the Beatles, actually.
I later learned that it was one of only three cassette tapes that the
player would play without destroying, the others being a mix tape heavy on Iron
Butterfly and Cheap Trick and an old Thin Lizzy tape that no one ever seemed to
play.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">(Again, for my younger
readers, cassette tapes were plastic thingys that occasionally needed a pencil
to make work properly, and they played music, kind of like your Ipods do, but
not quite. Ask your parents.) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">After what seemed like
ten minutes but was probably five seconds, I heard a loud “ZAP” and turned to
my immediate right where hung a bug zapper in a far corner. I looked ahead of me and saw three huge
stainless steel sinks filled with pots and pans and kitchen tools the like and
size of which I found bewildering. It
was as though a giant had dropped off their dishes. The sinks were overflowing with dirty dishes
and I felt my heart sink immediately until my terrified internal dialogue was
interrupted by, “so, this our new grunt?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">A man, who was probably
only about ten years older than me but had a face lined with life walked
towards me, wiping his hands on his apron before extending his hand to me. “I’m Leroy, welcome to the Jungle,” he said
with a wide grin and an appraising look.
Everyone else went back to their work and almost all of them either
ignored me completely or looked at me warily out of the corner of their
eyes. I shook Leroy’s hand and he put
his arm around me and showed me around, at first avoiding the “pit” aka, the
dish area (or as I was soon to learn, areas, plural) and introducing me to the
kitchen staff. All of them were youngish
males. I wish I remembered more of their
names. After he’d sloughed me around and
paraded me in front of everyone, who to a man could not have been less interested
in my fourteen year-old ass, he explained my responsibilities. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“We’ve got two dish
stations-a kitchen station and a service station.” The kitchen station was the one I’d seen
before, which scared the hell out of me as it looked absolutely insurmountable. The service station handled the dishes from
the servers coming back from the front of house. It was a very sleek-looking machine like a
miniature car wash. “Servers will bring
the dishes here, clear and stack them, and you load them into the machine, and
when they come out the other side, you stack ‘em there” he said, pointing at
what felt like a cage of stainless steel shelving. It actually felt a bit like being inside a
very small fort made completely of silver.
I had a moment of “Fortress of Solitude” daydreaming before Leroy
redirected my attention to an older server who had come by and just dumped
their dishes without stacking or clearing them before running out of the
kitchen. He used a delightful
four-syllable expletive, before he continued: “You better not let them do that
to you even one time, or they will walk all over you. Doesn’t matter that you’re a kid-in here,
only that matters is: can you do the work?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">That’s one piece of
advice I’ve definitely held onto over the years, and it’s come in handy in a
number of careers. I seemed very much to
excel at being the youngest guy in a number of jobs, particularly when I worked
in educational administration. It was
pretty common for me over a number of years to be supervising teachers who had
been teaching longer than I’d been alive.
That was always an adventure.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">He had me jump onto the
service line for a while and said to yell if I needed anything and to just “try
it out, see how it feels,” he said and he headed back to his station on the
other side of the kitchen. He called out
over his shoulder as he left, “Oh, and don’t be an asshole. That helps too, kid.” The salad station or “cold side” was directly
across from the service dish station and was manned by an unbearably tall and
lanky kid that couldn’t have been nineteen.
He didn’t say a lot, but I remember he looked right at me and said “he’s
right about that” before returning to his task of slicing cucumbers. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">So there I was, 45
minutes into my restaurant career and I’d been shown the bathrooms I was to
clean, a mountain of gigantic kitchen dishes and a machine that, when in
operation, sounded much like one had stuck their head inside the Industrial
Revolution. I’d been told to not be an
asshole and to hold adults accountable if they didn’t clean their plates before
I put them on racks to go through the machine.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Did I mention I was
fourteen? I was a freakin’
Choirboy! I’d spent eight years in a
parochial school! Of course I wanted to
yell at adults sometimes, but I never did it--I got my mouth washed out with
Palmolive once because I almost said “hell.” My mouth got me in a fair amount of trouble in
those days but I was working on it. (Still am.) To put it mildly, I was ever so slightly
overwhelmed. That said, I was also
something else entirely: I was intrigued.
I liked the idea of being judged on my own merits regardless of age-it
reminded me of the theater shows and music program I was involved in for years,
where you were generally judged by what you could do and how well you could do
it. I also quite liked the idea of
speaking my mind and standing up for myself.
I’d go so far as to say such things came rather too easily at times
later on, but those are other stories.
The strangest thing for me was that I was almost immediately treated
like an adult, as I perceived it at the time.
I wasn’t treated like a colleague yet as I hadn’t actually done
anything, but I don’t think anyone in the kitchen looked at me and said, “he’s
a kid-he can’t work.” I think it’s more
likely that they said, “ugh-I hope this dope can work.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I finished out the
shift, maybe two or three hours in entirety.
I cleared out the service dishes and put a dent into the kitchen dishes
before the evening dishwasher came in and grunted at me. That would remain the extent of our
interactions all summer. Leroy told me I
did “alright” and that he’d see me tomorrow morning. I was already wondering how I was going to
ride my bike to swim practice and then to work and my head was spinning again,
but as I looked around the kitchen, seeing everyone doing their job, handling
their area of the larger puzzle, the kitchen suddenly became this very
interesting world that I found myself looking forward to exploring. I was part of the “Back of House” and I
resolved that I’d man my station effectively, especially to those pesky servers
who want to dump dishes and run, especially those pure evil servers that would
try to drop the damned French Onion Soup Crocks without even a cursory attempt
at a scrape. Those things were hell.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">About a week in, once I
felt like I had my feet under me and had started to really feel and appreciate
the rhythm and flow of a kitchen that was really working well together; I had
to correct my first adult server. Steven
was an older fella and had been pretty dismissive of me, but after a week of
mediocre cooperation he started just dumping trays into my station and saying
stuff like “handle this for me would you, I’m in the weeds!” Now, occasionally, that’s a request you can
make, but for a whole shift on a Tuesday afternoon in July, I saw what he was
doing, as did the salad station kid, who kept looking at me and shaking his
head after Steven had done this twice in an hour. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I felt like the whole
kitchen was watching me, though it was likely only the salad kid, but I’d had
it and I was in the weeds myself (meaning “behind-struggling to catch up”) and
the girl I’d been dating and I had broken up and I was tired and there was
another girl that I liked but wasn’t sure about and there was a big swim meet
coming up and all of those things were stressors, but to be honest, I think
this shift was the one where I really figured out that I could do this
work. That I liked the ebb and flow of
the kitchen and that the lines between me, a kid, and Steven, an adult, had
been clearly erased by the nature of the work.
He was making my job harder on purpose and I wasn’t going to allow it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">So, the next time he
came to my station with dishes to dump and go, I pulled out the long sprayer
that I used to clear off the dishes-that one with the uncomfortably hard water
pressure and temperature and pointed it at his face as he said, “handle this for
me….” And he paused as I pointed my other hand at him and said “No-you’ll clear
your plates or you won’t only ‘be in the damned weeds,’ you’ll be soaking wet,
damnit! Do your damned job so I can do
mine!” I sprayed a warning shot from my
sprayer at his feet and sent another rack through the machine as he, to my
relief, cleared and stacked his plates nicely.
He never took advantage of me again and I felt like I kind of arrived in
the kitchen fully that day. It may be
coincidence, but Leroy almost immediately turned off The Beatles and blasted
“In-A-Gadda-da-Vida” on the boom box and the rest of shift seemed rather
lively. To this day, any time I hear
that song, I hear Leroy’s voice saying, slowly and drawn out, “
I-ron-buuuuter-flyyy….” The salad kid
even came over and organized dishes in the big cage to help me out, though they
were already kind of fine. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I spent the rest of the
summer there and really felt at the end like I had learned how to work hard, as
it was truly harder work than I’d ever done.
I also learned that I liked the people and I’d liked the industry-I felt
like I fit in. I was invited to stay on
during my sophomore year and while I worked a few shifts into the fall, I got
too busy with school and activities. Later in the school year, when I was
invited to the Senior Prom and was told by my parents that “if you’re going,
you’re paying your own way,” I got a job at the Market down the street from the
Inn. Same family owned it and it was a
better fit for my schedule then. I
earned enough to go to that Prom and actually have a picture of myself with my
friends from work in my tux making change at the register before we drove over
to my date’s house for pictures. I had a
good experience there, and at the Food Sampler down the road from the Market,
and at the Summer Camps I helped run later on and mowing lawns for the state,
working for the Postal Service, riding the garbage truck, parking cars at the
fancy Princeton hotel, giving tours at Woo, and playing shows and all the other
things I did to earn a either a buck or living until I became a career
educator.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I always remembered
that first job. Not just because the salad
kid and I used to sneak into the basement and explore the Revolutionary War
tunnels they were excavating under the Inn and the house across the street. Not just because they, as a “special treat”
for me on my last shift that first summer gave me the “honor” of cleaning the
grease trap. I always held that summer
in a sort of fascination that I couldn’t explain until, not long after we got married;
the wife suggested I try to pick up something part-time during the summers off
from teaching, while I was finishing my Masters. We had an Irish place in our town in North
Jersey at the time that we loved, and she, wise one that she is (and having
been subjected to every story I’ve ever told about everything, multiple times) wondered
if I might like to work there. We were
semi-regulars at the place and so the afternoon I popped in for a Guinness with
Larry the bartender, it was not without precedent that I was there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">As we chatted, I asked
Larry if they were hiring, and he said, “We’re always hiring. What do you do?” I’d done some freelance bartending at school
functions and mentioned I’d washed dishes as a teen.” He raised his eyebrow a bit and said, “How do
you make a Half and Half?” I took a sip
of my beer and said, “How do you make it?”
He laughed and said, “I make it the right way” and called over one of
the managers to talk to me. I did my
training the next week and spent the next three years working there in a variety
of roles: I mainly served but also bartended and on occasion, served as the
bouncer at the door. There’s probably a
whole column of both bar and door stories.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">It was a great time as
I was young and full of energy, something I only appreciate now. Teaching full time, Graduate program full
time, restaurant part time, supporting the wife’s career, planning for the
future-I still don’t know how there were enough hours to do all these things
back then. I set upon learning the
restaurant business from a work perspective but as such, I also experienced my
first real inklings that there was a special culture associated with the people
I worked with. I might only see some of
them at work, but we mattered to one another.
There was a community there that was completely and totally supportive
as long as, it seemed that you could both “Do the work” and “weren’t an
asshole.” People came and went, but I
think it was even then that I was learning that there are a special cadre of
people that make this industry move, and that I liked being around them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">This was during the
time that I was teaching full time and going to SHU full time to earn my
Masters so that I could be a Principal or a vice Principal or a Headmaster or
something else other than what I was at the time, which in those days was a
teacher and a server. I was looking
forward in my education career and at the time wanted to make myself qualified
to be the boss. I’d had some difficulty
working for other people, with exceptions.
My mouth occasionally shared opnions that may have been overly honest,
but in my career as an educator, now that I look back on it, I kept running
into people that either couldn’t “do the work” or “were assholes.” Sometimes both. My plan was to get my Masters and state
certifications and then get busy being that guy that made a difference. That
was honestly who I wanted to be. I
believed in the power of education and in the ability of schools to get things
right for kids. I thought I was a good
teacher and later thought I was a good administrator.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">But even through those
years, there was an undercurrent of the “restaurant lifer.” I was a Vice Principal in a large South
Jersey School district when we held our end of year administrator’s luncheon at
a very nice formal bistro in Burlington.
I got to chatting with our server, an amazing man named George, about
working in service and how I’d missed it, and he pulled me aside after we were
done saying that if I wanted to try coming on board, he’d introduce me to the
owner. Next thing I know, I’m moonlighting
in a tuxedo serving, among others, my Superintendent and the Assistant
Superintendent and their wives, both of whom I had lambasted to their faces in
their offices a few weeks earlier when they had transferred me within district
without notice. I was completely in the
right in my irritation with them, though it may not have been the most tactful
move of my career. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I remember the
Assistant Supe’s wife seemed upset that I was serving them and she admonished
her husband for not paying me enough, that “he has to do this?!” He gave me a “Make this right immediately”
look that still makes me smile. I
offered that “I love this work and the owners are friends of the family, who I
help out when I can.” His wife was
placated and I later learned that the effort was appreciated. I remember ending
that evening thinking that I had way more in common with the people at the
Bistro than the people I had served at that table in particular. I remember being really ok with that, but I
guess I wasn’t there yet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">The kids arrived not
long after and my desire to make a big splash in education increased. I then left one troubled district, without a
job, to seek another and found it in PG.
It was a great place for a time, but I was living the sort of hours that
would have destroyed me long-term. I was
serving as an Assistant Principal and the AD as well. At a minimum it was 12 hours days, six days a
week and about 100 miles driven daily. I
loved a lot about that job and had so many great moments there with the kids,
community and the faculty, but it was too much for me-I wasn’t seeing my
children for days at a time. I was
overweight, over-caffeinated, falling asleep on the way home, and in the end, I
was stretched thin. When the wife was
granted the opportunity to go to Hawaii, it was a Godsend. We took it and went to Oahu to reboot ourselves
way outside our comfort zone and it was good.
When it came time for me to work again, in addition to being the
stay-at-home parent that I continue to aspire to be, I knew then it was time to
go back to service. Wife and I talked
about it extensively, and I applied to pretty much every restaurant on Oahu,
but I had schedule conflicts with some, wasn’t cute enough for some, wasn’t
quite the proper demographic for others, but in the end, one gave me a
shot. And I spent over two years
re-learning the industry and realizing that I actually do kind of fit in within
it. I was accepted in Waikele and once
again found that the same maxim that Leroy said when I was fourteen continued
to hold true: “Do the work. Don’t be an
asshole.” I loved my time there and it
rekindled in me an excitement and honesty that my career in education began to
lack in later years.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I like to think I was a
decent teacher and administrator. I like
to think that my students enjoyed my classes-I certainly hope that they did and
that they got something out of them. I
know that I did for many years. I loved
teaching and I loved being a part of the life of the schools I was privileged
enough to serve. That said, there were
reasons I walked away when I did. I was
tired of dealing with adults that couldn’t, or wouldn’t “do the work” when it
came to caring for the kids and supporting teachers. I was tired of dealing with people who were
just assholes. I was then and still
remain to some extent, an idealist when it comes to education, but I find that
experience much better managed through the spectrum of my own children and
their lives. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">A while back a friend
asked me why I couldn’t go back to being a school administrator, instead of “just
being a server.” I get asked that rather
often actually, and the truth is that there’s nothing precluding me from
attempting to return to that work. I
feel like it was work I did and could do again, but just because I ‘can’ do
something does not mean that I ‘should.’
I made a lot more money in education.
But I spent almost no time with my family and time is the far more
valuable commodity. And I rather like
hanging onto my idealism. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">If I’m honest, while I
feel like I did my best and had some amazing moments and experiences with some
fantastic students and adults, it’s not like anyone’s been knocking down my
door to have me come back. I think
School life and I left on about the best terms we were likely to leave on. There are days I really miss teaching. I tell a lot of stories about the old days at
SKS and PJ and remember the best moments of my teaching career as real moments
of collaboration with students and like-minded teachers. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">When we left Oahu five
years ago the kids were still little and needed my constant attention. We settled into our life here and when we’d
gone through a few years of half-day kindergarten and preschool and then made
it to the point that our youngest was in full-day school, the question once
again arose, “So Kugs-whatcha gonna do now?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">And there was really no
question. I still want to be the guy
that gets to go on a field trip; to help out in the library; to cook colonial
hoecakes on colonial day; to be the one that has to pick them up early for a
doctor appointment; to be that guy who knows their friends and gets that smile
when I am at school and they see me. I
want to milk every minute of that joy they have when they see me at school and
are excited to have me be a part of their life.
My family is my life and my love and I am very blessed that I am able to
be available for these formative years in the way that I am, but I’m only able
to be this guy, because both my wife and my job get me and allow me to be
pretty much “this guy.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I tell people all the
time that I drive past six places I could “do this work” in order to work where
I do now, and it’s really true. I don’t know that I’m good at anything, but I
know that now, at my advancing age, I’ve learned a number of things, none more
important than this simple fact: I think
I’m doing what I’m supposed to.
Secondary to that is that dual facts that I like what I do, and maybe I
don’t stink at it too bad.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">It’s been 27 years
since I started my first shift in the Back of House at the Inn. I had to do that math-to date, I’ve not
stayed in the same position in any place longer than four years. That’s been my journey and I’m hopeful I will
buck that trend with my work at MVI.
I’ve been a Stay-at-home-dad for going on eight years now and I love
what I’m able to do in that role. But I
know now I would be an incomplete creature entirely if I didn’t have my place
in the universe as a restaurant lifer. It’s
more than what Leroy said 27 years ago.
It’s far more. And it’s also
not. It’s also very much exactly what
Leroy said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">A lot of people have
said a lot of things to me over the years.
In the end-I love my wife and I love my children. I love my family. While there’s a lot I can do to serve them
and our needs as a family, I think that maybe---just maybe---my being a
restaurant guy-a lifer-a person focused on service, might just be the best ‘me’
that’s available. It’s a special thing
being a restaurant lifer. It only took
me a few decades to figure out that it is where I’m supposed to be. Who knows what I might have figured out when
(or if) I really grow up? Not sure that’s
likely, but I can do the work. I know
that now and I can keep working on not being the other thing too. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
Aloha Kugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06120361414528917475noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-742455712298553676.post-42344352181955009222015-03-08T11:39:00.001-10:002015-03-08T11:39:21.676-10:00Reflections on a new loss then, a year ago now<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><em>I wrote this on 3-28-2014. It was my thoughts on the weeks following my mom's death and the process of writing her eulogy. </em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">To say that this is
overdue would be an understatement under normal circumstances.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My life of late has not been overly populated
with normal circumstances.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The last time
I wrote in this space was August of last year and a great deal has changed
since then.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, let’s dive in.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">My mother passed away
recently.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While her health had not been
overly good over the last few years, her passing was rather sudden and
unexpected.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A lot has changed and it is
a very new reality that our family now faces.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">We held a memorial
service for her recently.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We chose music
and readings that we feel represented her and her wishes and were very touched
by the response we have received, for which we are very grateful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At the start of the service, I presented a
eulogy, much as I did for my father when he died when I was seventeen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m forty now and I found the process of
writing those remarks very different and I have found that to be something I
wish to write about, so, that’s what I’m doing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">When I wrote for my
dad, I had my mom’s help, which to be honest; I don’t know that I really
appreciated until now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I remember
sitting in my room with my AmStud notebook and writing line after line of just
nonsense.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I remember calling my friend
in Colorado and talking with her and that helped.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But in the end I remember mom telling me
essentially that ‘whatever it was I was going to say, much like the service
itself, wasn’t really for the person who died-it was for everybody else.’<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She also told me not to overthink it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That helped, and as I recall I got through it
relatively well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I remember three main
points that I made in dad’s Eulogy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">The first was something
she told me as he’d been sick, and I referenced this point in her speech and also,
ironically enough, in my sister-in-laws wedding toast some years ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was that “If you keep your relationships
current and up to date with the people you love, then they never really go
away.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She told me this sitting outside
the Princeton Shopping Center after we ordered Zepollis from the pizza place
there while dad was at Princeton hospital.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We were having probably an overly frank conversation about my father’s
chances for surviving his cancer, and she was very direct.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I asked her if she thought dad would live to see
me graduate high school, which at that time was nine months away, assuming I
passed Pre-Calculus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She said she really
didn’t know and that it was a real possibility that he wouldn’t.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I still respect the daylights out of
that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She went on to say that “Anything
you feel you need to say to him, or to your friends as you go through this,
make sure you say it.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a lesson
I’ve tried my best to honor.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">The second thing I said
in dad’s service was that, in light of my mother’s wisdom, I was grateful that
there were, as a result, “No things left unsaid, no questions left
unanswered.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’ll get back to this one.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">And finally, I ended
with a line that meant a lot to me at the time and in the years after.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I said “from where I stand, the Sun is still
shining.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And it was that day-it was a
beautiful day and while I’m really ok with it now, that line rings slightly
hollow to me now, after all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It strikes me
now as something a seventeen-year-old kid who had no idea what he was in for
might say.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Since that is exactly who I
was and what I did.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">The aspect of my words
on my father that strike me now is not that there were “things left unsaid” as
I did really take my mother’s advice to heart and said everything I could think
of to say to my father before he died.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
said it all, repeatedly; at times when I know he probably couldn’t really even
hear me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I said it all and I’m grateful
to have done so.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The line that strikes
me now, and again, I only revisited this in light of preparing my words for
mom’s service is, “no questions left unanswered.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That sounded good at the time, but in
retrospect, it seems a very childish thing to say.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had more questions than I knew what to do
with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I spent the next few years
handling those questions in an increasingly horrendous manner, wrote and
performed a litany of mediocre songs, and damaged a fair amount of relationships
with genuinely good people as a result.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I put on a good face at the time, so much so that I convinced myself
that I was fine, but I was a mess for years, and if you knew me then, I don’t
have to explain it to you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was a kid
who had no idea what to do or think or feel, so I did what I tended to do in
those days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I played the role.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I acted my part and I think I did it
well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I fooled myself of course, that
was easy, but not everyone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There were
some in my life that saw through me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That complicated some relationships to be sure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It ended some.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It strengthened others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was of course oblivious to most of this.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">Dad’s eulogy took me a
few hours to complete in the end.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My mother’s
however took days to write and I think I understand why now: Dad and I had an
incomplete relationship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was sixteen
when he first got sick and he died six months later.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He and I were just starting to develop a real
relationship when he was diagnosed and that got put on pause and never really had
a chance to become an adult relationship in the end.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mom and I had a lot more time to have a real
relationship, both the good and the bad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We had our challenges and they, as per her advice, never went unspoken
about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do take some comfort in the
fact that there really was to my reckoning, nothing left unsaid between
us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That means something different now
than it did when dad died, as I’ve had more of a life and we’ve had far more to
disagree on to this point.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The good, the
bad, the difficult, it got dealt with, and I feel as though the last few years
with her living here in Virginia, close to us, seeing her family more regularly
than she did in Jersey, made a positive difference in her life and in ours.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">And I think, unlike my
relationship with my father, mom and I had a chance to have a complete
relationship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was a child and an adult
with her, and whatever else may come and go, I think the ability to speak to
your parent as an adult is a positive thing, and I wish I’d had the chance to
do that with my father.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s where the
“no questions left unanswered” thing causes me a brief pause, as when I grew up
a bit, I found I had a whole hell of a lot of questions for my father and
nowhere to really send them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">So, where does that
leave me?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t really write or play
songs anymore (no one has complained…and no one has asked for a re-issue of
Kugs-Live at Mom’s Truckstop 1993…though I could make it happen…;) and I have
clearly not been using this space as much as I used to, though I’d like to get
back to it more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What it leaves me with
in my own mind is that I will remember and cherish both of my parents in their
absence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m grateful that my children
had the chance to interact with my mother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I wish they’d been able to meet my father as I think he would have gone
bananas for them and I would very much have liked to have seen that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m grateful for my family. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">All things considered,
I do feel very blessed in my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
have a family that both loves and tolerates me, which is likely better than it
gets.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">When I ended my
mother’s eulogy, I said, among other things, “A hui ho,” which is a Hawaiian
phrase we learned on Oahu.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It means, “Until
we meet again.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In life, the last thing
I said to her was “we love you” as we dropped her home after the Pancake Dinner
at Church.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Among the final words I said
to her, in the end, was “A hui ho,” and of course, “aloha.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was truly heartened by the fact that as I
explained that aloha means both, ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye’ in Hawaiian in the
eulogy, my children spoke aloud right along with me, like we were doing a call
and response.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It warmed my heart to no
end that they felt called to speak out in the service and I was humbled by the
number of our friends that came and brought their children to the service.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">I remember growing up
in the aftermath of the death of <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Patricia,
my oldest sister.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We used to do a
memorial service for her around the dining room table when I was a kid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t remember her as I was three months
old when she died, but I remember conversations about life and death, and about
honoring one’s life, and I remember conversations about the nature of life and
death and the passage of time and about having children be a part of that
process.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know that for us, it was
important that our children be a part of the service that honored my
mother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There were those that suggested
that such a service was not a place for children, but I don’t agree and I’m
grateful for our friends that not only came out in support of us but brought
their children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t want my kids to
be the only children present in the service to honor their grandmother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are many reasons for that, but the most
honest is that I wanted my kids to have their friends there, much as I did when
my father died.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">Death is a part of
life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the end it is really the only
alternative to getting older, so most of us choose it, when we can.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">Dad died in
October.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a breezy and unusually
warm day in New Jersey.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">Mom died in March.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a breezy and unusually warm day in
Virginia.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">The sky looked pretty
much the same on both days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t make
these things fit the model, it’s just what happened.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>None of this was what we wished.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>None of this was based on choices we would
make.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But we carry on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">“From where I stand,
the Sun still shines.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">I said that repeatedly
in the old days; I sang it loudly in one of my less awful songs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But in the end, there really is nothing left
unsaid this time-I mean it, and my relationship with my mother was as current
and up to date as it was likely to ever be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There was peace.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There really
aren’t serious questions left unanswered.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Not like there were with my dad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">I will miss my
mother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just this morning, I got an
email from our church here, which I usually forwarded on to her, and I had to
stop myself from doing so.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Things have
happened in our life that I would normally have made a point to tell her, and I
won’t now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know it is the way of
things and I know that we did right by her, but it is an end.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">While it is a different
end that my father had it is no less final.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Neither he nor my mother wished for or wanted the end that they
met—though they each had neither the choice nor the option to face it in the
end.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I like to think they are both at
peace.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want to think they are at
peace.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">If nothing else, I pray
that they are at peace and at rest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
is for the rest of us to move on and carry on, and, if so driven, to see the
sun still shining.</span><br />
</div>
Aloha Kugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06120361414528917475noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-742455712298553676.post-26442775558961898652015-03-08T10:31:00.002-10:002015-03-08T10:31:57.675-10:00Almost a year later: My Eulogy for my Mother, March 2014<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">My Mother passed away March 10 of last year. I wrote and delivered this Eulogy for her that week. As I go through my notes on the year and the things I've written, I feel like it's time I shared this. My next column will be a reflection on having written this, so it felt like a good thing to get out there. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><em>If you’ve ever had a
conversation with me, you’ll understand why it is rare that anyone offers me a
microphone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That said, one of my
mother’s favorite things to say at church was, “If you can’t say it well AND
under ten minutes, you probably shouldn’t be up there talking.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, I’ll do my best to honor that today.<o:p></o:p></em></span><br />
<em>
</em><br />
<em>
</em><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><em>I remember as I was
writing the eulogy for my father when he passed away in 1990 and was having trouble
getting started.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mom told me that
whatever it was I was going to say, much like the service itself, wasn’t really
for the person who died-it was for everybody else. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She also told me not to overthink it too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></em></span></div>
<em>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></em><br />
<em>
</em><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><em>Mom faced a lot of challenges
in her life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She faced challenges in her
youth, then later dealing with the loss of her first child, our sister Patricia,
at a very young age.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Losing our father
very young as well and being left alone as a parent to deal with my sister and
I-as a parent and a spouse myself, I cannot imagine the reserves it took to
endure any of that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, she did it.<o:p></o:p></em></span></div>
<em>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></em><br />
<em>
</em><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><em>Mom was not one for
leaving things unsaid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If she had an
opinion, and she always did, it’s likely she would share it with you early,
often, and whether or not you had asked for it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>At the heart of that though is one of the things she taught me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As dad was dying, she encouraged me to be
honest and direct with my friends and my family about what I was feeling and
needing and to say whatever it was I needed to say to my father, whenever I
could.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She said, “If you keep your
relationships current and up to date with the people you love, then they never
really go away.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I recall that I used
that exact line in my sister-in-laws wedding toast, which I was given a grand
total of 42 seconds to prepare for… I know that the last thing I said to her
was that we loved her and she said the same.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I’m grateful for that lesson as it helped me leave nothing unsaid with
my father and I’m pleased to say that the same is true with my mother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m glad we had these last few years with her
here in Virginia where she had the chance to spend time with her grandchildren
and made new friends here at St. Andrews and at Heatherwood.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></em></span></div>
<em>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></em><br />
<em>
</em><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><em>Mom was a complex
person, and I can appreciate so much more now the intensity that she brought to
the table when dealing with the challenges that we faced as kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Losing our sister so young was a tremendous loss,
but life in our parents’ home was rarely dull.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We were encouraged to try everything and mom and dad were frequently
shuttling us around to choir, play practice, swimming, baseball, horseback riding,
basketball, youth group, and anything else we wanted to try.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There were the brief experiments with soccer,
rowing crew and drum lessons too, but by the end, even my mom was making me
walk to the Drum lessons…I wasn’t real good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Listening to Friday’s with Frank (Sinatra…) on the radio and Family
dinners with the radio on-occasional dance breaks if the Platters or Dion and
the Belmonts or Sam Cooke came on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our
home was permeated with music and I like the way that sits in my memory.<o:p></o:p></em></span></div>
<em>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></em><br />
<em>
</em><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><em>Mom was genuinely tough
and she expected a lot of us as kids and expected as much if not more from the
people who were our teachers and leaders.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I remember vividly in 7<sup>th</sup> grade I was assigned a Comparative
biography project.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had to pick two
historical figures and do a biography on both and a comparative study.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Social studies was my best subject at the
time, and probably the only one I wasn’t getting phone calls from teachers
about, so I was really excited.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As dad
and I had just watched the PBS “Eyes on the Prize” documentary series about the
Civil Rights Movement, he suggested that I compare Malcolm X, whose
autobiography mom had me reading, and slave revolt leader Nat Turner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I excitedly presented my idea to my teacher,
who was appalled-promptly forbidding me from doing such an inflammatory project
and sent me to the Principals office.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
knew the way…Sister Karina explained that my choices were not appropriate due
to their “violent and controversial predilections.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Having already discussed historical bias with
my father, I said something rather snarky to my Principal which of course
resulted in a call to mom, and as I recall, Sister did not need to look up the
number.<o:p></o:p></em></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p><em> </em></o:p></span><br />
<em>
</em><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><em>After Sister explained
her position on my paper and that she expected my mom and dad to support the
school point of view, I could hear, across the desk, through the giant old
style rotary handheld phone, my mom essentially lose her mind on Sister Karina.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Are you kidding me with this?!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s IT!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You have gone too far this time, Sister.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You are absolutely NOT going to tell my child what he can or cannot read
and learn about, especially in the one class he does well in!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sister tried to explain her opinion again,
but I knew it was all over for her on this one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I’d been on the other end of a few of mom’s ‘bestowing of opinions’ and
I knew Sister didn’t have a chance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
heard her through the receiver across the room, as Sister pulled it from her
ear, “MY son is doing this report, and he’s going to nail it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe you’ll even learn something or so help
me God, I will have the ACLU picketing your convent faster than you can
blink!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></em></span></div>
<em>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></em><br />
<em>
</em><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><em>I’d never heard anyone
talk to a nun that way and it was by far my favorite trip to the principal’s
office, though not my last.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think on
that every time I advocate for my kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She made sure I did a good job on that report too, and the teacher later
even said that she was sorry about the whole thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Said she learned something.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I probably would have just done something
else like Thomas Jefferson and Ben Franklin, but I remember that mom stood up
for me and academic freedom that day, and I learned something too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The ACLU was never called though.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But she would’ve. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mom didn’t bluff.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></em></span></div>
<em>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></em><br />
<em>
</em><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><em>No story of my mother
is complete without talking about Wildwood.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The Jersey Shore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She and dad met
and fell in love there and that beach has remained at the center of our family
life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Despite her Midwestern roots I
think she definitely became a Jersey gal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Dad was a lifeguard in The Crest and mom was a college freshman on
her first summer away from Ohio.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She
and her friend didn’t know that early May is not the usual weather to run to
the water in one’s bikini, and Dad and his pal noticed them while working on
the patrol jeep up at the guard house.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So, seeing, as he described, “two crazy girls sprinting to the freezing
water…” he and his buddy jumped into action and drove the jeep down to warn
them of the cold temperatures…and of course get their numbers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wildwood was our summer for pretty much every
summer of my life and it remains a very large part of our present and
future.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you’ve ever seen the lines
out the door at Lobster House, where she and Aunt Karla used to be
servers, much as I am now, you might be amazed to know that we never once
waited on line there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She’d go to the
host stand, drop a name or two as a former waitress, and we’d be seated
immediately.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That was as VIP as we got
but it worked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And she made that happen
every time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m pleased we had the
chance to take her and the whole family last summer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s truly a magical place and will remain so
for us.<o:p></o:p></em></span></div>
<em>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></em><br />
<em>
</em><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><em>Mom was very proud
of my sisters accomplishments.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She
really enjoyed telling her friends to tune into the network when my sister had a new piece
running.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was particularly proud of
her work with the Saratoga War Horse project.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Enjoyed bragging about her Emmy award winning daughter.<o:p></o:p></em></span></div>
<em>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></em><br />
<em>
</em><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><em>Heidi reminded me of a
story from her bridal shower where Mom, who had fallen in love with the “Froggy
Boots” from Restoration Hardware, had blurted out, during the shower that Heidi
and I needed to “Get going on bringing me some grandkids-I need to buy Froggy
boots!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She adored her grandchildren and
I know that she was never more pleased than when showing them off to friends or
bragging about their accomplishments:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Boyo promotion to Red Belt in Tae Kwon Do; J-Bird being twice
selected to be in the Pyramid Art show; The Bear also making the Pyramid show and
performing with her scout troop at Heatherwood.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>These are just a few of the things that she really enjoyed and I’m glad
we had the chance to share the amazing people that our children are with my
mother.<o:p></o:p></em></span></div>
<em>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></em><br />
<em>
</em><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><em>Trimming the tree for
Christmas and Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Nights when she’d feel inspired to talk about the old days, and people
she’d loved-my father, her mother and brothers, Daddy Pop and my Grandpa
Kugs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Patricia.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When mom got in a story groove it was fun to
experience.</em></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p><em> </em></o:p></span></div>
<em>
</em><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><em>When I ended the eulogy
to my father, I said, “From where I stand, the sun is still shining.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’d like to think that one still applies, but
I was 17 at the time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I end here today,
hopefully a little wiser and maybe just a little older, I have two lines that
are sticking with me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are both ones
I learned when we lived in Hawaii.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
first is: Kulia i ka nu'u.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It means, “strive
for the summit.”<o:p></o:p></em></span></div>
<em>
</em><br />
<em>
</em><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><em>Every time I have been
faced with a challenge over the last several years, regardless of what arena of
my life that challenge came from, I think of that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Strive for it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even if you fall short, I think, you’ve
strived…and I think that really matters.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></em></span></div>
<em>
</em><br />
<em>
</em><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><em>And the other is far
simpler. And it is “A Hui Ho” and it means “until we meet again.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whatever else my mother is, was and may be,
she has left this life, and she will be missed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So, I say Aloha, which my children know means both Hello and goodbye,
and to their grandmother, and our mother, I say Aloha, and A Hui Ho.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></em><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
Aloha Kugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06120361414528917475noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-742455712298553676.post-1141808486468150202015-03-08T09:48:00.001-10:002015-03-08T09:48:31.720-10:00Cleaning out the queue: Things I didn’t know at 20, but know now, sorta<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">I started this column
last July.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m cleaning house today, so
I’m going to finish it and post it and then move on to the other ones I’ve not
finished.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">July 17, 2014: I’m
getting awfully close to another birthday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That, and the kind of year that we’ve had has me feeling reflective
again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s not a rare occurrence mind
you, but it’s been difficult to find both the time and the motivation to
write.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, my pal over at the “Moving
Girl” blog ( <a href="http://azdenek.wordpress.com/"><span style="color: blue;">http://azdenek.wordpress.com/</span></a>
) has inspired me to get back on the horse so to speak.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not that I have a horse or anything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">Sorry-I have a very,
VERY, literal child in my house.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve
been working on keeping things rather direct.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I fail a lot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That said, I’ve been
thinking a lot about change and how it constantly affects our lives-sometimes
because we wish it-say, making a change to leave a job that’s rapidly
destroying you to become a stay at home parent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Other times when we face change we didn’t wish to entertain such as the
loss of a loved one: we’ve faced that one a few times in the last year both to
death and to other modes of choice and adjustment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But the change keeps coming and we deal with
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Change requires flexibility and
being open to new possibilities or sometimes just simply being forced to accept
what it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That is a challenge for
everyone in my house, as I imagine it is in yours, and the nature of that
challenge is rather unique to certain members of our family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That said, I feel like we are in a good place
now and learning a lot about how to navigate the world around us and the
particular challenges that we face.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">And yet, I find my
thoughts reaching back into the past-for some reason 20 years seems to be
popping into my head.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That would put me
back at COW, about to enter my senior year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My future wife graduated that May and was off to BU for grad
school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had completed my Junior year
Independent Study Project and was hoping to ride it’s coattails into my Senior
year project.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I spent the Spring
celebrating those successes and Nelson Mandela’s inauguration as President of
South Africa.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I spent the summer working
at the post office and glued to the radio and TV following the circus that was
the OJ Simpson Trial.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was irritated
that baseball had a strike that ended the season just a year after the 1993
Phillies had been such a fun season to experience, despite its awful end.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I still hate Joe Carter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I forgive Mitch though.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I probably seemed a pretty normal 20-year
old, though we all know now, well, at least I do, that I was still processing
some serious issues that would continue to be a challenge for years to come,
but I was working hard in school and earning money over the summer and in a
stable relationship with the girl I would marry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">But, I thought very
differently about things than I do now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>How so?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let’s explore that…</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: left; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1)<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">I’m a way different parent than I
thought I would be at 20.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.25in; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">I
knew I wanted to be a parent back then, but I knew very much that I was not
ready to do it anytime soon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t
know how I knew that, but being a parent now, I get it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was way too self-involved in those
days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was a mess too and probably at
least partially a complete asshole at times, but I was very much into being the
“singer-songwriter guy” on campus and in clubs in New Hope, Philly, and
Princeton over the summers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was very
much about that dream at the time and played a lot of shows, not all of them
awful I’d like to think.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you asked me
then about the kind of parent I thought I’d be, it would have been “I would
want to relate to them and be their friend-obviously I’d be way cooler than all
their friends parents.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.25in; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">*Picking
up now on 3-8-15:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.25in; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">Now
I realize that type of parenting is not for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I never would have imagined being a stay at home dad back then.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was too busy planning my speeches for the
Grammy Awards and figuring until then I’d try to be Mr. Keating from “Dead Poet’s
Society.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, I did in fact once try
the “Oh Captain, my Captain” thing with a class.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They had the politeness to look at me like a
complete dork too, for which I now applaud them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.25in; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">I
like to think I’m a good parent, but I most certainly not the sort I thought I
would have been at 20.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.25in; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">I
think we’ll have a speed round here, as I’ve left myself a few piles of things
to finish and the kids are at Kohls with the wife, so here goes-other things I
know now that I didn’t know at the age of 20:</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: left; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2)<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">If you let the laundry pile up for a
day, you end up with 5 loads to fold 2 days later.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: left; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3)<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">My parents probably knew about some of
the dumb stuff I did as I kid and they just let it go out of both embarrassment
for me and an desire to avoid awkward conversations.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: left; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4)<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">It matters more that I actually learned
to do something at school than what my grades actually were.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: left; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5)<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">Making #4’s realization was the key to
rocking graduate school.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: left; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6)<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">It’s easier to have one uncomfortable conversation
with someone who’s wronged you than it is to carry that angst, even a little
bit of it, within you for years.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: left; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">7)<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">The Eagles still haven’t won a Super
Bowl.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: left; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">8)<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">I don’t need to hold onto every single
notebook, note, letter, and other such bric-a-brac from 1<sup>st</sup> through
12<sup>th</sup> grade in order to have real memories of the time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Had to downsize a few years ago…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: left; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">9)<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">I’m glad that we did not have smartphones
in Junior High and High School.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m sure
we would’ve enjoyed them but yikes…what might have been caught on camera.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’d still be grounded.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: left; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">10)<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">It’s going to be ok.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was full of anxiety and angst in those
days, despite the pleasant musical styling's of Hootie and the Blowfish.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">If
I could tell my 20-year-old-self that one thing, I think it would have been
interesting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, the journey from there
to there has been engaging and has made me who I am now, so I’ll take it, as, I’m
pretty ok with it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
</div>
Aloha Kugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06120361414528917475noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-742455712298553676.post-52755078405089619622014-06-13T03:50:00.001-10:002014-06-13T03:50:26.458-10:00Pretty much exactly where I want to be...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">I haven’t written
anything of substance since I wrote the eulogy for my mother some three months
ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wrote both the eulogy and then
another thing reflecting on writing the eulogy, neither of which are going to
be posted here at this time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will say though
that I am grateful for the support of friends and family throughout the process
of dealing with the death of my mother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I have written about it, though as I said, I think that this space,
whatever it is these days, is not the space for that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The aforementioned eulogy and the subsequent
reflection were, for me, rather difficult to write, and in all honesty, put me
off writing at all for a while.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For
whatever reason, I feel the itch tonight.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">I think that I am
exactly where I want to be.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">If you know me even a
little, especially from the old days, you might know that that is kind of a big
deal for me to say.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I spent a decent
amount of my life wondering what I was supposed to be and who I was supposed to
be and where I was supposed to be and the like.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I spent a decent amount of years trying to figure that all out, as we
all do as young people I imagine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
just always seemed to be something I struggled with a lot and I looked for
myself in any number of people, places, things and ideas.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There were good years and there were
angst-filled ones, much I expect like the lives of most of us who are now
looking at the other side of forty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">That said, I find
myself, after celebrating my fifteenth wedding anniversary, with the same young
lady I’ve been with for since I was ninteen, as I look at the life we have
built with our three amazing children, kinda just now growing wise to the fact
that I just might be, exactly where I am not only supposed to be, be exactly
where I always wanted to be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And maybe I’m
who I want to be too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">I always wanted to be a
Dad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Always.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I always felt that call even as a young man
at a school that encouraged otherwise, I always knew that I wanted to be a
father.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had a lot of jobs over the
years, including dishwasher, lawn mower, deli clerk, sandwich maker, mail guy,
lawn mower again, garbage man, tour guide, camp counselor, bartender, teacher,
theater guy, teacher again, bartender, waiter, school administrator, waiter,
athletic director, assistant principal, stay-at-home-dad,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>waiter, bartender, waiter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">I’m still kind of several
of those things, but I am something else now which is difficult for me to admit
as I think about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s something I’ve
never really been, well, at least not something I’ve really admitted to you all
or that many others in my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">I have always been
afraid to say it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m afraid to say it
out loud since that might jinx it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Saying
it out loud might be the thing that heralds the big tragedy or something else bad
happening.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There were times where I felt
like saying it, felt like shouting it out to the world, and bad things did
happen, perhaps coincidently, but maybe I jinxed it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some things that happened?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, my dad got sick.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My life changed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That girl broke up with me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I stood up for myself in a school district
and I got shown the door.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I thought I
was handling things well and wasn’t and all of the people that cared about me
noticed and I couldn’t handle it and I lost them all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I found work but they didn’t quite get me and
I was kind of an ass about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I took
things too seriously and made an ass of myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>(I kinda did that one a lot.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
always seemed like those things happened just as I reflected on my life and
said something, but, what is it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What is
it I’m afraid to say?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">It’s really a number of
things-it’s part “I’m ok” and it’s part “I’m good now” but in the end, and
honestly, I feel some genuine nerves even typing this, as I worry that I am
jinxing myself or tempting fate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Honeslty, I do feel those nerves <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>but I’m going to say it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Strap in.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">I am exactly where I
want to be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, I’m good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I’m ok. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">Now, yeah, I’ve had a
lot on my plate of late and am sometimes overwhelmed by the stuff we manage
with the kids and their school stuff and activities.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I left a lot of drama behind when I started writing
this blog as part of our move to Hawaii.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I left my old career and life behind and focused on family-being a stay
at home dad and then finally realizing that I am a restaurant lifer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I think I’m good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yeah, I see a therapist now and then, but,
seriously, for a $20 copay, it’s a bargain at ten times the price.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m fine with that as she seems to think
better of me than I am naturally predisposed to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And there’s been a lot to manage with my
mother’s passing and there is more to deal with still, but I’m doing my
best.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And for the first time I can
recall, that’s just fine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m good.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">And it’s fine for one
reason.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m good and it’s all and
manageable for one reason.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am where I
am, and I am exactly where I want to be and where I am supposed to be because
of one person and her impact on my life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">I get nervous saying it
and thinking it as so many other things I used to think and say, when they
really mattered, ended up changing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
suppose, if my thoughts and feelings and desires really could mold the world
around me, I would have a very different life now than the one I have and I
like the life I have.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Eagles would
have won at least one Super Bowl by now…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">That said, I have the
life I have because my wife chose me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She came up to me in the dining hall and never allowed me to get
away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was a hot mess back then, but
she grabbed me and refused to let me go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I still don’t know what she could possibly have seen in me but she saw
something in me and almost 22 years later, she’s been proven maybe not right,
but at least not totally off base as I’m not a complete waste I guess, and what’s
more, I’m really, for the first time, really good with where I am.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think I’m right where I want to be.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">That’s still scary to
even type for me, which in many ways why I think it’s important for me to write
this now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">It’s not always easy,
but the kids gave me such joy today when they all played together for
hours.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They all enjoyed being with one
another and with some of the issues our children deal with, peace and
togetherness can be a rather difficult to come by.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There were a few moments of loudness, but we
didn’t need to intervene.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They
managed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The youngest was the driving
force-she wanted to play with her older brother and sister.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could feel it and they did too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t know how much time they have left
where they will do that in quite the same way, but I think we have, amidst
everything else, created a home where that kind of connection is really ok and
good and encouraged and something to cherish.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I think we’ve created that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
know they will have their conflicts but I want them to love one another.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know they do that and when I see them
actually like each other too, that’s a testament to what we’ve built here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And when it’s good, it’s really, really
good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When it’s good there is nothing
better anywhere.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">And that’s the truth of
all this-and I hope it all doesn’t fall apart because I’ve jinxed it, but we
are here because my wife saw something in me that she liked and accepted and
thought was good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Regardless of who I
was and who I thought I was, I’ve grown.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>No small thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I think I’m
good here, where I am, and who I am, and what I am.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s scary to say.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hope the sky doesn’t fall.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But if it does I know I’ve got the right
people around me to try and hoist it back up again.</span></div>
</div>
Aloha Kugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06120361414528917475noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-742455712298553676.post-71923580967399192372013-08-05T15:15:00.002-10:002013-08-06T01:24:05.513-10:00I must learn to do nothing. <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Noteworthy; font-size: 18px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 24px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">It has been a very long time since I've written and there are a variety of reasons for that. This summer has been incredibly busy, and while that's no excuse for not doing something that I love to do, writing in general has had to take a backseat to several other things that have simply been more important to date. </span><br />
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Between therapist appointments, doctors appointments, camps, working occasionally, trips to the Jersey shore, and various other activities and things to fill the time/void left by the end of school , we have been running ragged since the end of June.</div>
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I have started and shelved so many columns since my last one that it seems almost laughable that this was once a space that I used regularly to write about things. But, who doesn't love a comeback?</div>
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Among the many columns I have started and put away since my New Year's Eve column of last year, I have written about Wildwood, Aspergers , other things in our family life, the challenges of creating an IEP, and the challenges of working in a family that is in transition. I reflected a great deal on my role as a parent especially in the light of having worked in education for many years. I wrote about returning to teaching in the form of doing a Sunday school class at our church. I came to some very interesting realizations about the importance of Wildwood, New Jersey and my life as a young person and how it changed as an adult and yet, is still more vital every day that I live.</div>
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Occasionally I worked on the novel and the other two fictional projects that I have in the hopper, but I've never seemed to have the time to really focus on making them good.</div>
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From a life perspective the Boyo was invited to join the advanced academic program for next school year. I was named volunteer of the month at their school during the month of March. The girls are great artists and are enjoying reading the first Oz book with me. The wife, as always is awesome. </div>
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I still enjoy my part-time job when I am able to get there, and I like very much the people I work with. </div>
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I have reflected very very very very deeply on the fact that when I graduated college, I set out to change the world as a teacher, then became an administrator, then walked away from it all to be a stay-at-home parent. But that is nothing new to readers of this space. </div>
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I can't possibly catch up on everything that has happened or been worthy of writing about since New Years, but I do have something to say today and I hope that you will forgive me the foregoing of the absolute catch-up and allowing me to share with you what is on my mind at this exact moment. Ironically enough, it really does lend itself to blending all of the things that I mentioned above that have been on my mind since last year.</div>
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By way of starting, I'm going to share with you something that I wrote in my journal in May while in Wildwood with the family for a few days. </div>
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"It has been a long day, but sitting here with the sound of the ocean around after an overall successful day, it's hard to be irritated. Everyone but me is asleep, and I've got<br />
the balcony to myself and I can just make out the incoming surf in the distance. Oceanview does not stink.</div>
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I think Wildwood, and the Jersey shore in general means something different to me now than it did when I was a kid... I think that for me it has always been important but now, getting to our house in Wildwood when the wife retires is the ultimate goal-that she and I will get to retire here and grow old here and that we get to have that life that we've envisioned in that home. That is the hope for the future, a life there... I know a lot of people see the beach, or the shore, or whatever their escape is as just that, an escape. But what I have found is that Wildwood for me now, while it is important to my family's past it is now my family's future and that means something different to me now as an adult. </div>
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My children have fallen in love with Wildwood, in no small amount due to the fact that when we have gone there, we have kind of embrace the power of 'yes we can.' I make no apologies for that. There is a genuine and tangible future at work and in play for us and our family here in Wildwood, I hope it all happens as we have hoped."</div>
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Those were my thoughts when we visited back in May, and our visit again in July did absolutely nothing to change my particular feelings on the matter. </div>
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That said, as I sat poolside here in Denver Colorado, tagging along with my wife on her work trip, I had some different thoughts about the way that we vacation, and perhaps something I missed in my recollections of Wildwood trips as a kid. </div>
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Full disclosure: I am exhausted. I have never felt this stretched thin in my entire life. My household is one that is absolutely full of love, but there are daily challenges in terms of how we get along. Based on our research about the medical issues we're facing, and the advice of our experts, it has often been our predilection to make things as structured and scheduled as possible, so as to limit the downtime or "boring time" so that there's as little room as possible for meltdowns. Sometimes, that has worked.</div>
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Another full disclosure, is that my wife and I have always prided ourselves on going on vacation, and not being "lazy. ". We always went out of our way to find out what was fun to do and what was interesting to see and we always had to have something on the agenda for the day while we are away, including are absolutely fabulous honeymoon and Ireland. That's really kind of who we were, and while that is still very much an aspect of the way we like to travel, I learned something today during the two hours I sat by the pool here in Denver.</div>
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I woke up early and I did my workouts, and I had some breakfast, and then I looked at the day and figured I would go into the city. I couldn't relax and I couldn't think of anything else to do so I figured I would go to the Denver Art Museum, but didn't bother even with all of my research to realize until I was standing in front of the locked door that they're closed on Mondays. So, I decided to make a plan B and checked out one of the local craft breweries that I didn't see during last years semi exhaustive brewery tour of Denver. You may remember, that last summer I put myself on assignment in both Indianapolis and Denver to write about many of the different craft breweries and filed a decent number of words and columns as a result. </div>
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While I had a really good time being on assignment in Indianapolis and in Denver last summer, I realized something as I walked around Denver today looking for something to do: the activities that I was looking at and the things that I was doing were not doing the most important thing that I needed them to do in that moment, which was to help me relax and decompress from the incredibly difficult summer that we have had. The Spring wasn't much better. I won't go into all of the details, but please be rest assured that we have been as a family nonstop traveling between activity to activity to appointment to appointment to destination to destination without the time so much as to sit down and take a deep breath.</div>
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When I was growing up, my family always used to have a hard time understanding why, when we went to the beach, even if it was just Island Beach State Park for an afternoon, I couldn't just sit and relax and enjoy the moment and breathe. I used to give them grief about that. </div>
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While I still maintain that I do rather enjoy active trips where I am doing something and seeing cool somethings, I am disappointed that I didn't realize until this afternoon, after forcing myself to come back to the hotel and sit by the pool and listen to music and relax that i have a serious need to actually do/think about absolutely nothing for a while or I'm going to be worthless to my family. I watched clouds in the Denver sky change into different shapes, and didn't take pictures of them with my phone and post them to instagram, though that was partially because it was up in the room charging but I'd like to think I would've refrained otherwise.</div>
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I used to think that I was really capable of embracing the Hawaiian ideal of "no worries" and about living on island time. But I have learned that it's increasingly difficult living in a place like Northern Virginia where the case is beyond anything that I have ever experienced before. I say "no worries" all the time, in conversation, and pretty much any other time I'm opening my mouth, but in the end there's a lot of worries and I think I need to learn how to deal with them in a more productive way sometimes-perhaps thats going to have to be by choosing to do absolutely nothing at all which I just may spend the rest of this time in Denver doing. </div>
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My tan will improve at least. But I need to slow down. I'll try to write more. </div>
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Aloha Kugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06120361414528917475noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-742455712298553676.post-43408881245153894612012-12-31T18:20:00.000-10:002013-01-01T04:31:10.281-10:00The Aloha Kugs year in review including why I don't apologize for marrying up.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Aloha again on New Year’s Eve.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hope that this finds you and yours well as
we once again stand on the precipice of a new year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">It has been an interesting year, but a good one for
us here in Kugs-ville.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It has had its
challenges and difficulties, as I imagine all years have and will have, but I’d
like to think as I look back, it was a good one more than it was not.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">2012 really started for me on January 2, as that was
the day I committed to get myself in shape and live a healthier life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Along with a group of friends, we started a “Biggest
Loser” contest over Facebook.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
results for me and my friends have been dramatic, and I lost over 80
pounds.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I ran six 5k races, did Insanity
twice, and got rid of loads of fat clothes, as I’m never going back again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The group has added members and done
subsequent rounds (I came in third in round one) and has really become a source
of support and inspiration for me all year long.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m happy to say that I am still living at a
healthy weight, though I’ll admit to some holiday indulgences, but plan to run
three miles tomorrow and schedule another race at the end of the month.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I won’t go back to being fat, and the group
really helps.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you’re interested for
yourself, please email me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That change
in me and how I feel about myself if by far the most significant change for me
personally this year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I entered 2012 an
obese man with high blood pressure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
enter 2013 in the best shape of my adult life itching to run a 5k.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I owe that to the group, to my family for
their support, and to that little voice inside my head that keeps reminding me
of what it’s like to look in the mirror and be disgusted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m in a way better place and that all
started January 2 of 2012.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">But, there was a whole year to come!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, what happened this year?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">I visited Indianapolis with the wife this summer; Great
city.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did a number of columns on the
craft beer scene there and the city in general.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I really liked it and did not expect to.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">I also visited Aurora, Colorado.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A week after the shootings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a very interesting visit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did another craft beer tour and enjoyed it
a great deal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I saw Roller Derby with
my friend Sonic Death Monkey, and wrote about that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Aurora and Denver were very cool and I’d like
to go again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The shadow of the Dark
Knight tragedy hung in the air there in a very palpable way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">On a delightful trip to NYC in the Spring, I both
met Pulitzer Prize winning composer Ned Rorem and saw the Book of Mormon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Both were amazing experiences.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Ned wanted to hear all about my writing.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">This summer we took the whole family to see a live
performance of A Prairie Home Companion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We’ve loved the show for years and finally got to be part of the live
crowd at Wolftrap.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That was a great
night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The kids dancing on the lawn to
the “Powder Milk Biscuit” song was worth the price of admission alone</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">I watched a lot of youth Soccer, and rugby and Tae
Kwon Do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And tumbling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The bear tumbled.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She does that a lot now.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">I went to a ton of kid birthday parties.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">We threw a few adult dinner parties.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Parent’s night out at our Church can’t come
often enough.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">We watched the Bear cross the bridge at preschool.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And start Kindergarten.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Went to Connecticut with the family, where despite
Homewood Suites attempts to give me coronary, we had a successful visit in a
hotel, our first since the Thanksgiving incident of 2011.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">I took the Boyo to Wildwood.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just him and me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We rode and ate everything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I embraced the power of yes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He loved it and can’t wait to go back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t wait either.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">I cooked a ton of stuff this year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Highlights: Several Turkeys, several Hams, a
heap of Kalua Pigs, a fair amount of Avocado Ahi Poke’, bunch of soups, and a
whole lot of other things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Doing a
Hawaiian Luau tomorrow for New Years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kailua
Pig, Cabbage, Edamame, Macadamia nut everything, maybe a tofu Poke’, some
pineapple, and Kona Longboard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wearing
my Kukui nut lei too, because I can.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">I hope they run “The Eddie” this year on the North
Shore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m missing the island and feel
very much like that would help.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">This was a bad year for professional sports in our
house.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Phillies stunk.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Eagles stunk worse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Buckeyes were good but banned from postseason
play.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And the Flyers aren’t yet allowed
to play.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dark days indeed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m hopeful they will end the NHL lockout
soon as the Boyo and I need our hockey something fierce.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We very much enjoyed the Olympics
though.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A lot of fun moments there and the
Boyo still points out Michael Phelps every time we go into Subway, which I
appreciate as they also have a picture of the Redskins RG3, which he pointedly
ignores, as per his training as a Philadelphia Sports fanatic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m very proud.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">I finally fit into my lederhosen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Owned them for almost two years but finally
got to wear them as I enjoyed the 15<sup>th</sup> Annual Cleveland Oktoberfest
with my guys.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s all I have to say
about that, as what happens at Oktoberfest…oh, but I did run the 5k at the fest
and did a personal record at the time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">I was asked to teach Sunday school to the 13 year
old class at church.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I agreed for a
variety of reasons.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’re committed to
the church but I also, for me, wanted to know if I had anything left in the
tank as a teacher.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s been over a
decade since I was a classroom teacher, and I guess I wanted to know if I still
had it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know now.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">And, at the end of all the discussions, columns, and
other assorted chatting on the topic, I ended up going back to work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not as a teacher and not as a Vice Principal,
Athletic director, or even Dean of Students.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I went back to work as a server/bartender at George Washington’s
house.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s part time and flexible, as
restaurant work has (gratefully) always been for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After years of wondering, in the end, I just
didn’t want to go back to a job that would make me miss things like
volunteering for Field Day, or helping out in the library, or going on a field
trip.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or wearing my colonial garb to the
twins’ classes to discuss holiday traditions in Colonial America.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One of the best comments I got all year was
from one of the twins’ classmates who tapped me on the shoulder and said, “I
feel like I see you here every day!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>While I’m not there daily, it made me feel good to know that they know
who I am, and that I care about helping out in their classes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t want a job that keeps me from doing
those things for the kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I don’t
need it for my ego.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m quite content
being a bartender/server who volunteers at the kid’s school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean, I get to wear tights at work…But I
know its growth for me, as there were years that my priorities were
different.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hawaii cured me of a lot of
that, and I feel even better about my choices now, with the life we have,
challenges and all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">We watched a decent amount of TV this year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Downton Abbey” was awesome.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Can’t wait until the next season. “Louie” on
FX may have been the best thing on TV this year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Louis CK is a fierce comic who I’ve always
been a fan of, but this show he’s put together over the last few seasons is
truly brilliant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Game of Thrones,” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Boardwalk Empire,” “The Walking Dead” were
all very good too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Doctor Who” and “Merlin”
on BBC have been good, and the history Channel’s “Mankind” series was well done
also.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">I read a lot of books this year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I discovered the work of Cleveland’s own John
Scalzi, beginning with “Old Man’s War.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Read and enjoyed all of his work before discovering and devouring the
first two books in Justin Cronin’s “The Passage” Trilogy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Eeesh they were awesome.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cronin writes in a way that is intimidating
to me as someone who likes to write and aspires to write something that people
want to read.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“The Book Thief,” by
Markus Zusak and “The Descendants” by Kaui Hart Hemmings were both good too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I really enjoyed Colin Meloy of “The
Decemberists” second novel in the “Wildwood” trilogy “Under Wildwood.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">I have worked on a number of projects of my own this
year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I made a great deal of progress
with “The Last Good Day” which was my “NaNoWriMo” project.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have a full outline and loads of notes and
plan to dive back into it in the New Year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>If you’re interested in being a beta-reader for the early chapters,
please message me as I have some ready for review.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve neglected the blog a bit since the
summer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sorry.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">I just got a ton of ITunes cards for Christmas, but
looking over the music I’ve enjoyed this year, Bruce Springsteen’s “Wrecking
Ball” and Mumford & Sons “Babel” were among the highlights for me this
year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve liked a few tracks from the
new Bruno Mars album, and John Mayer’s “Born and Raised” has been a nice
listen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fell in love with Allison Kraus
and Union Station this year a bit; The Black Keyes too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Gold on the Ceiling” may be my new favorite
song of the year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Through my genealogical research and packing up
Grammy’s basement and finding it, I now have a picture of my
great-grandmother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s been the elusive
piece of 20 years of research.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">I didn’t see a ton of movies this year, you know,
having kids and all, but “The Avengers” was good, as was “The Hunger Games.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Lincoln” was amazing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Silver Linings Playbook” was fun too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Argo” was surprisingly good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would have enjoyed “Django Unchained” even
more if some guy in the theater hadn’t decided to make it all about himself
screaming at the screen every time a character used a particular racial
term.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Haven’t seen “Skyfall,” “Perks of
Being a Wallflower,” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Zero Dark Thirty,”
“Hobbit” or “Les Mis” yet, but I will.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Ted”
was funny.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am excited to see Disney
purchased Star Wars.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">In reviewing the year, it seems a lot of interesting
people died.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While it’s not exhaustive,
they included: </span><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Daniel Inouye, </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Andy Williams, Michael
Clarke Duncan, Adam “MCA” Yauch, Neil Armstrong, “Sweathogs” Robert Hegyes and Ron
Palillo, Gore Vidal, Sherman Hemsley, Ernest Borgnine, Ray Bradbury, Richard
Dawson, Donna Summer, Levon Helm, Dick Clark, Davy Jones, Dave Brubeck, Donald “Duck”
Dunn, Whitney Houston, Don Cornelius, and Etta James.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Also, there were losses closer to home, friends from
HHS, Vanessa and Alex.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve thought a
lot about them and their families tonight as they start a new year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hope and pray they are well.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Outside of all of the above, I am hopeful for the New
Year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While there have been horrible
life-altering events this year, including Newtown, Aurora, Sandy, and crisis
after crisis across the world, I am hopeful for this New Year.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">I know more about Asperger’s and about Mood
disorders than I did a year ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Imagine
where I’ll be in a year.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">I know more about how to live a healthy and fit life
by being a “Loser.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">I know that there are things that I’m good at and
there are things that I like to do and while they are not always the same,
there is a balance to be found for all of those things somewhere in the middle,
and that’s my goal for the New Year: to have better balance.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">That, and have the hockey come back and Flyers win the Stanley Cup, the
Phillies surge forth and win another World Series and take the kids to see a
bunch of games, and go to Wildwood with the family and ride the Ferris wheel,
and maybe finish this book that I’m writing and get it published to rave
reviews and huge sales, and maybe have the Eagles make a playoff run and the
Buckeyes drive towards a national championship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">But, I’ll settle for better balance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the end, that’s quite likely the more
responsible wish.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">And I celebrated my 20<sup>th</sup> year together
with my wife.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>13 years married and two
decades together have taught me one very, very true thing: Marrying her was the
best thing I ever did, and our partnership is the greatest enterprise I’ve ever
been a part of.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">In fact, it’s among the most clear and present
indicators that God is present in my life in a very real, cogent, and visceral
manner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">I make no apologies for marrying well.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Happy New Year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
Aloha Kugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06120361414528917475noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-742455712298553676.post-23207325715423249552012-09-21T10:43:00.001-10:002012-09-21T10:43:15.734-10:00Like over a month later, saying Aloha to Colorado: and Aloha means goodbye. Final thoughts.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">This is an embarrassing length of time between
experience and writing about it, even for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I mean, honestly…but real life happens.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And I’ve just bought myself thirty minutes to write with an episode of
Ninjago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not proud.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">It’s been weeks since we visited the Denver area,
but as it was among the last moments of peace I’ve had this month, I am
remembering the trip fondly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a
nice area, and while the mile-high air definitely affected my 5k training, overall
I have nothing but good vibes from the area.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">I enjoyed catching up with some friends, notably
Bartsch and Sonic Death Monkey.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also
enjoyed further proving that fact that I can find something fun to do pretty
much anywhere.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean, even Indianapolis
was fun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I met some very cool people
while tasting a fine sampling of the Colorado Craft beer community.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had planned a visit to the Oskar Blues
Brewery, who were incredibly gracious and generous with their offer to host me,
an admitted nobody in the blogosphere, but I was unable to arrange travel
there, but I plan to see them next time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">With that said, my beer of the week is the one I
can’t stop thinking about, the Crooked Shillelagh Irish Red from Dry Dock
Brewery.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I fell in love with the hand
–pull style, and the rich and creamy flavor have haunted my dreams since my
visit to their Brewhouse on Day three.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Honorable mentions for the week go to the 471 Double
IPA from Breckenridge and the Great Divide’s Hercules Double IPA.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">I won’t go long form at this point, as it’s been
nearing two months since I visited Colorado. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
regret not posting this until now, but the kids started school and life got
crazy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh, and I started a new job.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the end, I really enjoyed Colorado and
look forward to visiting again in the future.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Oh, and I’ve gotta check out the DC area roller derby…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">More on that in the next column, which may be up
later today if the game the kids remain occupied. A lot to talk about.</span></div>
</div>
Aloha Kugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06120361414528917475noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-742455712298553676.post-39659209316282491112012-08-29T08:56:00.001-10:002012-08-29T08:56:18.649-10:00Long Overdue: Kugs says Aloha to: Roller Derby! Colorado trip, day the fourth.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">I apologize for the delay in concluding my coverage
from Colorado.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The minute we got on the
plane to head back east, “real life” intruded something fierce, and today, over
two weeks later, is actually the first moment I’ve been able to dedicate time
to write.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I plan to conclude my series
on Colorado in two parts-this one, which will be dedicated to my visit to the
training facility of the Rocky Mountain Rollergirls.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will then write a concluding column
regarding my overall impressions of the areas I visited and of course, crown
the Beer of the Week.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">But, first things first: Roller Derby, where have
you been all my life?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">My friend from college, now known to her Derby pals
as “Sonic Death Monkey” picked us up in Aurora and drove us to an area of the
Denver suburbs I don’t imagine I would have found in the guidebooks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Very industrial from the outside, but upon
entering the “War House” as it’s called, it was clear that the Rocky Mountain
Rollergirls (RMRG) (</span><a href="http://www.rockymountainrollergirls.com/"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: blue;">www.rockymountainrollergirls.com</span></span></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">)
are an organization to take seriously.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>What might once have been a warehouse had been transformed into a really
unique space.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was bright and open,
very high ceilings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It reminded me of
the Annex Gymnasium back at HHS a bit, but without the weird smell by the leg
press machine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The surface was a bright
blue rink and was populated by about twenty or so “Noobs,” or beginners to the
delicate art of Roller Derby.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">As I learned from Monkey, there is a steady stream
of women that come out to try Roller Derby, which is popular enough in the
Denver Area to support two separate leagues; the RMRG, who boast four home
teams: Dooms Daisies, Red Riding Hoods, Sugar Kill Gang, and the United States
Pummeling Service; and three travel teams, The Fight Club, the Contenders, and
Project Mayhem.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fight Club is the league
“A team,” and were National Champions in 2010.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The Contenders are the B squad and the Project Mayhem group is their C
team, which any skater who is skill tested can work with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There’s also the Denver Roller Dolls who
boast four home teams and two travel squads (</span><a href="http://www.denverrollerdolls.org/"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: blue;">http://www.denverrollerdolls.org/</span></span></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are other smaller factions in
neighboring areas, including some pockets of “Merby” where men play the sport.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There have been events during the last year
that have drawn 1,000 fans, so this doesn’t appear to be a fad, and if
anything, according to both Sonic Death Monkey, Reuters, and the Women’s Flat
Track Derby Association (WFTDA) the sport is growing to the point that it is
being considered for the 2020 Olympics. I’m interested, for sure.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">So, for the noobs out there, what is Roller
Derby?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s tempting here to just link
you to a Wiki article, but I’m going to give it a shot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>First thing to know is that it’s called a
“Bout.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not a game, a match, a session.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A Bout.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I was corrected on that repeatedly by both Monkey and her friend “Robo
Flow.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Each bout runs for two
thirty-minute halves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The periods are
broken up into “Jams” which can go as long as two minutes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Each team fields five players at a time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are three blockers, one jammer, and a
pivot player, who is a blocker, but if needed can become the jammer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The jammer scores points by lapping the pack
of blockers, earning a point for each opponent she passes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Blockers try to keep their jammer running
clear while trying to stop the opposing teams’ jammer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">With me so far?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That’s only the basics-there’s far more nuance and strategy than I can
convey here, but It’s kind of like a race, but with chaos, mayhem, colorful
names, personalities and legal hitting and whipping of teammates to increase
speed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are penalties and referees
as well, and the rules are clear about what you can and cannot do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even in practice, the skill and training
involved to be good at this sport were very clear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s hard enough to be athletic in shoes—I
imagine much more difficult on quad roller skates, which I’ve not worn since
1987 at the last SPS roller skating event. (Where, I’ll have you know, I
finally got that girl to hold hands with me on a couple skate…even if it was
just to bring her out to have us switch so she could skate with the blonde
kid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Still epic.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Anyway, I digress.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My first question was: how does one go about becoming a Rocky Mountain
Rollergirl?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In essence, in seems to come
down to commitment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most of the
interested ladies start by coming to “Derby Days” which are basic skating
sessions held every Sunday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There, prospective
members of the “Kill Scouts” or “Dooms Daisy’s” can build a foundation for
their skills, get to know the programs and people involved and basically find
out if Roller Derby and it’s unique culture are something you wish to be a part
of.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After 2-3 months of Derby Days, a
prospective “Red Ridin’ Hood” might be invited to begin training on Tuesday and
Thursday evening.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These sessions work on
enhancing the basics, working on specific skills, strategy, scrimmage play, and
the like.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Each “Noob” is evaluated every
other month, and as they progress, they might then be invited to add Monday
evenings and Saturday Scrimmages.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Much
depends at that point on the skill level demonstrated and their level of
commitment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Before one even begins
talking about earning their “Derby Name” one must invest six months of
training, dues, and community relations work-street team, work or attendance at
monthly events designed to promote awareness of the league in a positive
way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">The group is a non-profit and exists entirely on the
backs of dues from members and sponsors, who include Pabst Blue Ribbon, Wahoo’s
Fish Tacos, and the team Chiropractor, Dr. Borman.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s a fan.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">If all goes well and you earn the right to a Derby
name, you become eligible to be placed with a team.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You will likely be a member of the “KillScouts”
for some time, who are skaters who have put in 90 days and are in good standing
with the league.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They will remain with
the Scouts until drafted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When you’re
drafter onto a home team, you’re likely with that team until you retire, as,
according to my friend Sonic Death Monkey, no one has ever switched teams.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If there’s an issue between players, they
have a forum for working it out: the track.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">So, outside of the particulars, who are these
women?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In short, it seems as though they
are pretty much a bit of everyone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Generally, they appear to not have been athletes prior to Derby.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some swimmers and dancers, but it seems that
for many, Derby is among the first team sports they have enjoyed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Monkey says that Derby celebrates and
embraces, “All female body types.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If
you’ve got an ass, yay!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These women are
lawyers, students, Police officers, teachers, Stay-at-home moms, you name
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a place that welcomes all women
who are looking for something to challenge themselves and a place and a culture
even that will embrace them for whoever they happen to be walking in the
door.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Monkey says that most of her
teammates call one another by their Derby names, and that many of them don’t
even know one another’s real names.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In
fact, while talking to one of her teammates, I used Monkey’s real name, and she
looked at me as though I had just farted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I hadn’t though.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p> </o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">In the end, the wife and I really enjoyed watching
the practice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I decided that I’m going
to introduce the sport to The Bear, as she is pretty much a walking Roller
Derby on most days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think there’s
something very cool about a sport that provides these women with a great team
activity that allows one to still display individual skills in the
process.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not to mention being a safe
place to be an aggressive woman, which as Monkey attests, such a place is “not
always easy to find.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The track is the
great equalizer, and in a world where we many of us face the challenges of
identity and disconnection, it was refreshing to see a group of women dedicated
to being part of something really unique and positive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Plus there’s some hitting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, let’s hope they add it to the Olympics,
as it strikes me as something that would be a lot of fun to cheer on in
2020.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s uniquely American sport that
promotes a powerful and independent spirit in women of all ages.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a father to two daughters, that resonates
very much for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p> </o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">So, who’s coming with me?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you’re down in NoVA with me, let’s go
here: <a href="http://dcrollergirls.com/"><span style="color: blue;">http://dcrollergirls.com/</span></a> ---</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">I’m serious.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The DC squad has a big match next month…I’ll drive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Stay tuned for my final thoughts on Colorado…Aloha
for now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
Aloha Kugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06120361414528917475noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-742455712298553676.post-24963522120126909292012-08-02T06:31:00.001-10:002012-08-02T08:00:45.044-10:00Kugs says Aloha to: Colorado-Day the Third<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Spent most of the morning writing yesterday’s column
and being super lazy until my dumb Droid battery charged back up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The agenda for the afternoon was a simple
one: walk the 3.2 miles to Dry Dock Brewery here in Aurora, drink their beer,
talk to people about it, walk back to hotel, collect the wife, have dinner with
Bartsch and his family, retire for the evening.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Things went pretty much according to plan, though the weather was a
little persnickety along the way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Brutally hot on the walk to Dry Dock—then raining on the way back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a relatively light rain, so we
managed, though the walk back was far quicker than the walk there.<o:p></o:p></span>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">It’s a nice area to walk through though, loaded with
trees and plants and dogs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I thought
this one little yip dog was going to give itself a coronary trying to gnaw
through the fence between us to get at me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Luckily, the hole he stuck his snout through was not quite large enough
to allow that, and we all moved on like ships in the night.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Dry Dock brewery was a very interesting spot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It kind of snuck up on me, situated in the
corner unit of a strip mall.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not a
typical locale for a brewery, though I would learn that they are pretty
atypical in general.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Once inside, it
looked and felt like a brewery tap room, which is convenient seeing as that is
in fact what it was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I liked the look of
the malt sacks hanging from the rafters.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The brewing tanks are directly behind the bar and visible through the
large windows.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I really enjoyed watching
the brewers at work while I enjoyed their labors.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Very cool feel to the place.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">I sat down at the bar and met Lissa who invited me
to fill out a tasting sheet to sample the first six beers I was to try.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did so and when she returned with my selections,
she took the pen and arranged them in the most appropriate drinking order, a
nice touch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I started off with
selections from their Seasonal beer menu, beginning with the Raspberry
Wheat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was cloudy with a lightish
color and a light fragrance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was
smoother and gentler than the Great Divide Wild Raspberry Ale.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Crisp and drinkable with a touch of
lip-smackiness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The wife would have
liked it, but she wasn’t there so I drank it all myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I moved on next to their “La Vie Haute”
Summer Saison.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This one had a huge aroma
and a fascinating flavor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It looked and
felt like a summertime beer, and started off that way, very citrusy and tasty,
but the back end of it had a peppery quality that gave it a sharp twinge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Really mouth-filling and absent of aftertaste.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Really fresh and distinct.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think it would pair well with a blackened
catfish or something similar.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Really
nifty beer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">At this point I noticed a framed quote behind the
bar.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Beer is proof that God loves us
and wants us to be happy.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Always liked
that one, even if Ben Franklin didn’t exactly say it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">I next tried the “Carter’s” Copper Ale.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was just ok for me, but I instantly fell
in love with the next beer, the “Crooked Shillelagh” Hand-pulled Irish
Red.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean, the name alone made me feel
good, but holy Donegal Batman, this beer was simply off the charts good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Was a deeper and darker red than the others I’ve
had this week, including Wynkoop’s Imperial Red, which I liked a lot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think I particularly enjoyed the hand-pulling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Without the CO2 and drinking it at room
temperature, the texture was pure heaven-creamy and smooth with a slight touch
of sweetness on the back end.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A warm and
comforting beer, great body, no aftertaste, and just a genuinely pleasant taste
that would complement a lot of dishes, but of course I’d want to do my Corned
beef with it, or even just a good soda bread.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I think I’d eat a tire and enjoy it with this beer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This beer will contend for Beer of the week,
for certain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yowzers.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">The “Second Base” Brown Ale was fine, and the Milk
Stout was probably the best of the Stouts I’ve had this week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was mellower and smoother than the Wynkoop
Milk Stout and less filling than the Great Divide Stouts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It doesn’t quite, for me, rise to the level
of the Rock Bottom Stout from Indianapolis, but it was very good.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">My next group of samples is from the “Home Fleet” or
their year-round beers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lissa again
ordered them for me and had me start off with the “U-Boat” Hefeweizen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It had a cloudy, unfiltered look and gave off
a unique fragrance of bananas.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Looked a
little like a Boddington’s.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wow-this one
is unique-definitely get a citrusy flavor with that banana suggestion, but on
the bottom end there’s a hint of clove that’s really interesting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Really unique Hefeweizen that would pair well
with a summer salad with grapefruit in it or a light pork loin dish on the
grill.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This could get an honorable
mention just for sheer audacity of using banana in a beer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I liked it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">I then tried, for comparison sake, the Crooked
Shillelagh with the CO2 and refrigeration.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It was good, but I definitely preferred the hand-pulled.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The “HMS Victory” Amber was next and although
it was a tad malty for me at first, I found that I enjoyed it more as it went
along.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Creamier than I expected in an
amber and it had a taste that lingered a bit, in a nice way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For some reason it struck me as a beer to
watch soccer with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">The “Breakaway” Pale Ale had a light and bubbly look
with a nice head.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Potently fragrant that
brought to mind a Christmas tree and mulled wine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I enjoyed this far more than the Wynkoop “Silverback”
Pale Ale.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Had a really complex taste
that filled the palate in a way that other Pale Ales fail to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I frequently find Pale Ales to be low on
flavor and this one most assuredly breaks that cycle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This would pair really well with my Jerk
Chicken.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Definitely a contender for an
Honorable Mention, at least.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The “Urca”
Vanilla Porter was another winner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Squid-ink black in color with a really big and inviting nose that
reminded me once again of the Rock Bottom Stout from Indy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I liked it immediately.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was less sweet and more complex than the
Rock Bottom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It put me in mind of the
first time I ever had an Irish Coffee, though I’m not certain why.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a mouth-changing beer that is flavorful
all over, even after I swallowed it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Definitely
high on the lip-smackiness scale.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
really liked it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This one will contend.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">The Dry Dock Double IPA had me excited as I’ve
learned over the course of this project that I really like Double IPA.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Still not the biggest fan of IPA by itself,
but double it up and I seem to come around.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This one was darker than the Breckenridge 471 from yesterday and had a
strong and nice fragrance that called to mind spending Christmas in Hawaii, for
some reason.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wish I had this beer when I
was having Christmas in Hawaii because I really liked it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There was a bit more of a bite at the back
end of this than the 471 but the flavor was plenty big.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hoppy and malty in balance with one
another.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Their beer menu says that this
on exhibits “restrained bitterness.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That’s an apt description, though at 9% ABV, I’m not sure how restrained
it would prove.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A very good beer to end
my research on, though they later made the “Swabby” Barrel-aged Quad
available.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It had a cidery quality to
its aroma and a real earthy look to it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Reminded me a little of the Barley Wine at Greta Divide yesterday,
though I enjoyed the Swabby more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
couldn’t quite figure it out, a really complex beer, and at 12% ABV, I wasn’t
going to continue researching it at that point.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I was really for a full pint of the Crooked Shillelagh, which I enjoyed
while chatting with a few of the regulars to the tap room, Frank, Tim, and
Rob.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Frank was a riot who told a variety of stories I can’t
print here or even tell the wife about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>One that I can share had him relating a story about his first heart
attack.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It happened, “While I was
working in a hospital.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I told a doctor
on the elevator, and he took me down to the ER.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>How lucky was that?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was dating
a witch at the time, and she gave me a bag of rocks to put under my pillow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I told the doctor about it, and he said, ‘that’s
great.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’ll be the dead guy with a bag
of rocks under his pillow if you don’t do more than that for treatment.’”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’d go back to Dry Dock just to hear more
stories from Frank.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">I also met Tim, who’s been a part of the Dry Dock
family since the beginning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They started
off as a Beer supply store, The Brew Hut, and expanded into brewing operations
in 2005.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Supply store is still
there, though they’ve expanded over the years, including signing the papers
today on a new 70,000 square foot space for expansion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">During their first year in business, they were surprise
Gold medal winners at the World Beer Cup with their HMS Victory Amber, and, as
Tim put it, they were “off to the races.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Both Tim and Rob talked about how the Colorado Brewing community works
together and “promotes their own.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Rob
mentioned that he heard there were seventy new Colorado breweries opening in
the coming years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Collaboration is
common and welcomed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think that really
adds something to the flavor of the experience I’ve had this week. Tim also mentioned
that he thinks American craft brewing is returning to its original form, where
each community will have its own local beer to promote and enjoy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is something that the Yuengling history
I’ve been reading talks about, where every town had a brewery and it took on a
character and disposition that reflected the community.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This went away as larger national brewers
expanded and Prohibition hit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was an
interesting observation that I can only hope plays out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Would certainly give me more to write about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Learn more about them here: <a href="http://www.drydockbrewing.com/"><span style="color: blue;">www.drydockbrewing.com</span></a> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">With that, I power-walked my way through the rain
back to the hotel to get ready for dinner with Bartsch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s a former student of mine from my SKS
years in New York.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was always a
favorite.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Through the power of Facebook
we’ve stayed in touch and were able to reconnect last night and I got the
chance to meet his beautiful wife and daughter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It was a real treat and again reminded me of the power of social media.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That and the power of relationship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Simply sharing a meal with an old friend was
an amazing addition to my trip out here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>When we lived in Hawaii, we had people come to the island all the time
and made plans to meet up with them, but more often than not, once people got
to Hawaii they often got locked in on what they were doing and never got
together with us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was hard at times
to not be hurt by that, but we moved on and let it go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For me, the chance to see an old friend and
meet his family did nothing but enrich my trip, just like last year when I met
up with Hom in San Francisco.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was
maybe an hour of two, but was among my favorite aspects of that trip.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">For me, taking that time there, as well as here, was
a reminder of how small a world we live in and how important it is to make the
effort to maintain relationship when you are lucky enough to meet some of the
awesome people in it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, next time you’re
in Northern Virginia, give me a call.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">I had originally planned to visit the Oskar Blues
Brewery today, but was unable to secure a car, so I will see them next
time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They were genuinely helpful and
gracious in scheduling time with me today and I can’t wait to see them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will try to sample their product here in
Aurora today because, as Tim said, “They are one of the real success stories of
the local Brewing scene.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or something
like that, I didn’t write it down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My
hand was getting sore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Thus far I have sampled 49 Colorado beers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hope to try a few more during the day
leading up to my visit to the training center for the Rocky Mountain Roller
Girls</span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">L</span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">
<a href="http://www.rockymountainrollergirls.com/"><span style="color: blue;">www.rockymountainrollergirls.com/</span></a>
)I’ve got a friend from college who plays in the league and she’s graciously
offered to give us an introduction to the world of Roller Derby.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m stoked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The wife is more excited than I am I think.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Tune in tomorrow to hear about that
adventure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Could be epic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Thanks for all your support.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Aloha for now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>Aloha Kugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06120361414528917475noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-742455712298553676.post-47774765641719188582012-08-01T05:28:00.001-10:002012-08-01T05:28:24.671-10:00Kugs says Aloha to: Colorado. Day the Second…<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">I covered a decent amount of ground here today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Once I realized that I am smart enough to manage
the light rail system, I managed to drop myself into the middle of the downtown
Denver area.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I confidently stepped off
the train onto 18<sup>th</sup> Avenue and promptly walked just about a mile in
the wrong direction to reach my intended first target, the Wynkoop Brewing
Company.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Typical of me in an unfamiliar
city, but it gave me a chance to walk around and see more, which is what I told
myself as I turned around like an idiot.<o:p></o:p></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Eventually, I made it to the Wynkoop and did a pair
of “rails” of their selections.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In all,
I sampled ten of their beers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There were
a few I missed today, as if I had stayed for another rail I might have had to
be carted out on a rail myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In
general their beers were strong and well crafted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I sampled their “Rail Yard Ale,” “Orchard
Wheat,” “Silverback Pale Ale,” B3K Black Lager,” “Belgian Sour Brown Ale,”
“Light Rail Organic Ale,” “Wixa Weiss,” “London Calling IPA,” “Cowtown Milk
Stout,” and their “Imperial Red.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">It almost seems hack now to say how the beers were
well made, even the ones that I was not a huge fan of, but it is very true
today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Wynkoop beers were on the
whole very well-crafted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Rail Yard
Ale, which is their signature beer, was really an interesting hybrid of German
and British sensibilities, bringing a unique and flavorful beer to the
table.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Orchard Wheat was a taste
explosion-really coated the palate with a refreshing finish.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wife would like this, I think.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Loads of flavor in this one.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Tess, my beer navigator at Wynkoop has said that one
of her favorites is the B3K Black Lager.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It was really a densely packed color-looked like they put a bunch of
colors together and made a beer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Fragrantly it reminded me of a HB Dark from Oktoberfest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Had a nice taste and a smooth finish.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I couldn’t quite place the flavors I was
getting on the back end of this one, but Tess was a big help, pointing out that
they used both dark chocolate and a gentle roasting to achieve the unique
flavor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was filling so while I think
I’d be willing to try, I don’t think I could drink it all day long.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Tasty though.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The Belgian Sour Brown Ale, their “Brewjolais Nouveau” was really
unique.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a hybrid collaboration
between New Belgium and the Infinite Monkey Theorem Winery and fuses Young
Cabernet grapes and a Flemish Style Brown Ale.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Looks and smells like a Cab, and has a mouth-filling quality like a wine
that lingers on both the palate and the lips.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It was good but at 9% ABV, I think a pint of this would knock me out,
especially in this Mile-High Air.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Would
pair well with a good steak, something I don’t say about a lot of beers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">I enjoyed the London Calling IPA.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s cask-conditioned and served room
temperature, which was an interesting departure after the other chilled
varieties.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Very fragrant with a sweet
aroma.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I liked it-dry and hoppy but not
overly bitter on the back end.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Creamy
without being over-filling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For some
reason it put me in mind of sitting on the Thames and debating whether or not
The Smiths should have been in the London Olympics Opening Ceremonies (they
totally should have).The Cowtown Milk Stout was nice, though not as exceptional
as the Stouts I enjoyed in Indianapolis a few weeks ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The big winner at Wynkoop for me was the
Imperial Red.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It had a great bold color
but its fragrance was off the charts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Strong and complex flavor that didn’t overwhelm at all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a new beer for them and was really
unique and enjoyable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Was like a circus
in the mouth-really dynamic flavor that I can’t compare to anything else I’ve
had, which I suppose is a good thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Imperial Red is definitely in the running for Beer of the Week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">I had a nice time at Wynkoop and the Rueben was
pretty good too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Check them out at <a href="http://www.wynkoop.com/"><span style="color: blue;">www.wynkoop.com</span></a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">I decided to visit the Breckenridge Colorado Craft
drafthouse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In typical Kugs fashion I
turned entirely the wrong way on Blake Street and enjoyed at least a mile in
the wrong direction, again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, with
the potent Wynkoops coursing through my system, an extra mile or two was not
unwelcome.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I made it to Breckenridge
right before it started pouring.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
passed Coors Field on the way, which kinda just popped out of nowhere, like
Camden Yards does in Baltimore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a
very well designed park that fits in with the neighborhood really nicely.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s about all this Phillies fan has to say
about that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Breckenridge was cool inside.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Very spacious and open, a slight industrial
feel to the décor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My new friend Ryan
let me plug in my dying cell phone (droid battery stinks) and set me up with
the “Breckenridge Flight” which included the “Avalanche” Amber Ale, “Ballpark”
Brown, Vanilla Porter, and “471” IPA.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
also hooked me up with their “Summerbright” Ale and Agave Wheat.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">The Avalanche Amber is their signature beer and it
is good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Drinkable and smooth, but felt
more like a fall beer to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could see
enjoying this one during football season.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The Vanilla Porter was tasty as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The Agave Wheat was interesting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Ryan says they are selling a lot of that one now as it’s a very summery
beer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It had a nice blonde color and was
not real cloudy for an unfiltered wheat beer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It was a tiny bit tart for me but I definitely got a hint of the agave
on the back end.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Enjoyable and would be
great as an outdoor summertime beer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Would go great with the grilled cilantro shrimp I made a few weeks
ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The real winner for me in the
opening flight was, surprisingly, the 471 IPA.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Ryan lists this one as his personal favorite and I couldn’t agree
more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For me to love an IPA, it has got
to be special and this one most assuredly is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s a Double IPA, but I found it light and hugely flavorful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A mellow texture that doesn’t overwhelm the palate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It held not a bit of the bitter aftertaste
that I seem to find with most IPA’s and it was extremely drinkable and
fragrant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I feel like I could drink it
all day, though at 9,2% ABV, it would like be a brief, albeit spectacular
day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Definitely on the short list for
Beer of the Week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I went on to sample
the Irish Red, Thunder Stout, Oatmeal Stout, Trademark Pale Ale, and the “Lucky
U” IPA.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They were all well-crafted and
drinkable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Stouts were just OK for
me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ll take the 471 for the win
here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Check out Ryan and the crew at
Breckenridge at <a href="http://www.breckbrew.com/"><span style="color: blue;">http://www.breckbrew.com</span></a>
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">The rain had let up and the day was steadily moving
forward, as I hear they are wont to do, so I moved on to the Great Divide
Brewery and Tasting room.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They were on
my list and Ryan recommended them, so it seemed the thing to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The tasting room was small and cozy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Reminded me of the Crest Tavern down in
Wildwood, NJ.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">They offer three samples for three dollars which,
considering the quality of the beer is an exceptional deal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I started off with the Hoss Rye Lager, the
Titan IPA, and the Yeti Imperial Stout.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
Hoss was very earthy and unique. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A
gentle flavor that was quite a departure from the others I’d enjoyed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was good and clearly indicated to me that
Great Divide beers were likely to be pretty distinctive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Titan IPA is their most popular beer and
while it was good, I think I liked the 471 at Breckenridge better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">As I finished this grouping I got to chatting with
Dennis, who as fate would have it was from Newburgh, NY, a stone’s throw from
where I used to live while I worked at SKS.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I also met Paul and his wife and daughter, who as fate would have it again,
were from Indiana, and admired the Sun King Brewery T-Shirt I was wearing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Small world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Dennis may have had the line of the day when he commented that, “It’s
good to leave your home” and experience new and interesting things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Couldn’t agree more.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">My next group included the Wild Raspberry Ale,
Claymore Scotch Ale, and the Hercules Double IPA.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Raspberry was really fragrant and took me
for a ride in the old “Wayback Machine” to 1989 when I used to inhale the
Raspberry Soho soda that we sold at the old Cranbury Market.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A strong flavor with a touch of bitterness on
the back end and while it is a bit sweeter than I would choose to drink all the
time, it was really nice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Very distinct
and unique.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Claymore was a little
heavy for me, especially compared to the Oskar Blues Scotch ale I’ve been
enjoying back at the hotel, but it was good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My favorite of the opening rounds was the Hercules Double IPA.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I’m learning anything on this trip is that
if I’m going to enjoy an IPA, it might have to be a double.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This was a really good beer-bright and
fragrant with a great big and tasty finish.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It might be just a smidge below the 471, but I’d be willing to research
it further.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Really nice beer with a
complex texture and flavor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">I then jumped onto the tour, where my new friend
Will walked our group through the working brewery, where the tanks and
employees were enjoying the dulcet tones of Ozzy Osbourne.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Great Divide started as a one man operation
back in 1994 in Brian Dunn’s garage. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To
grow from such humble beginnings to preparing space for five more 300 barrel
tanks is a testament to the quality of their product, the vision of the company
as a whole and the manner in which they have been embraced by the Denver
community.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Will mentioned that early on
in their history, the city of Denver itself stepped forward and provided some
assistance on the condition that they open a tap room.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s a brand of government I can get
behind. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Apparently there are eleven new breweries getting
set to open in the Denver area in the next two years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They have chosen to “stay small on purpose,”
which reminded me a great deal of Yuengling’s approach.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Will spoke with pride about how the company
wants to “make beers that people recognize and to be smart about the future.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While there are no specific breweries or
beers that serve as a model for the company, Will discussed how he sees brewing
as “a lot like farming” and that they want people to look at their beers the
way people look at wine, and often think about their beers being paired with
food.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s an interesting perspective
and to me, indicates a desire to be taken seriously as a craft.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He discussed how Great divide is always
looking to “push the envelope” with their beers, a fact that is clearly evident
in the three selections he lists as his favorites, the Samurai, the Rumble IPA,
and the “Old Ruffian” Barley Wine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of
course, I had to go sample those now…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">The Samurai is a Rice-wheat combination, which all
by itself is pretty unique.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was
almost absent any fragrance at all and looked visually like a Chardonnay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On taste though it was clearly a beer, and a
fascinating one at that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It had a beer
texture but reminded me ever so slightly of a really good Sake on the tail
end.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I immediately wanted sushi.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A young couple from Sweden mentioned that it
put them in mind of a rice dish they would have for breakfast on Christmas
mornings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sounded like an oatmeal sort
of dish, warm and homey.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What a great
range of images to inspire.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Quality
beer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Rumble IPA reminded me of Kona’s
Waialua Wheat with its fragrance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was
tasty with hints of vanilla and a spiciness I couldn’t quite place.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Something about it reminded me of getting a
fountain Vanilla Coke at the old soda Shoppe on Main Street in Hightstown, NJ, before
they turned it into that Ice Cream place.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Well balanced and complex in flavor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The Old Ruffian Barley Wine smelled like a liquor and had a big
flavor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kinda hits all over the palate and
while I don’t think I would drink it all the time, I enjoyed it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A young lady named Kelly mentioned that the “Collete”
beer is her favorite.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t speak to
it personally as it’s out of season at the moment, but I completely trust her judgment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Check them all out for yourself at <a href="http://greatdivide.com/"><span style="color: blue;">http://greatdivide.com</span></a> and should you visit, ask
for Will and tell him that Aloha Kugs sent you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">And so, with that, I made my way back to the
train.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ll write more about the city at
the end of the week but I like it so far. It brings to mind aspects of
Indianapolis, Baltimore, and even my beloved Philadelphia.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve met some really nice people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am wondering who waters all the planters
all over the city though.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean they
are everywhere!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">This is late in posting, but I got tired.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am into day three now and hope to visit the
Dry Dock Brewing Company in Aurora (<a href="http://www.drydockbrewing.com/"><span style="color: blue;">http://www.drydockbrewing.com</span></a>)
and then have dinner with “The Bartsch.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Stay tuned and Aloha for now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>Aloha Kugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06120361414528917475noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-742455712298553676.post-65346551617452864062012-07-30T18:08:00.001-10:002012-07-30T18:08:06.479-10:00Kugs says Aloha to: Colorado. Day the First<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">We
arrived this afternoon after a pretty pleasant flight on Southwest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s amazing how much easier flying is after
having lost 80 pounds.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I actually dozed
off a bit for a change.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">It was
cloudy and drizzly when we arrived so the Rockies were obscured in great part,
but we still got a few nice views.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
reminded me of living in the shadow of the admittedly much smaller geological
formations on Oahu.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I haven’t made it to
Denver yet as we are staying in Aurora and arrived around dinner time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Yes, we
are in Aurora, scene of the recent movie theater shootings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While we haven’t talked with anyone locally
about it yet, to say there is a pall over the community would not be a
stretch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Flags are at half-staff all
over town.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The shuttle from the airport
took a rather roundabout way to get to the hotel, in an effort to avoid some
evening traffic, and as such, we found ourselves driving through the various
hospital campuses in Aurora, all of which I’m certain were very busy ten days
ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The van grew very quiet as we drove
through that part of town.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Wife and
I had dinner at the Bentfork Grill down the street from where we are
staying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Learn about them here if you
like, as they were excellent: <a href="http://www.bentforkgrill.com/"><span style="color: blue;">http://www.bentforkgrill.com/</span></a><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had a unique fish-based Jambalaya and the
wife had a very solid Trout Almandine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Since
we were there, I thought I might as well get started on my review of the local
beers, and we started off with two from the New Belgium Brewery, the “Fat Tire
Amber Ale” and the “Sunshine Wheat,” both on draft. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Amber was a nice color and a very pleasant
fragrance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A unique smell and a really
great taste.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Smooth flavor with no
noticeable aftertaste.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Great body and
very fresh taste.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Far more drinkable
than a Sam Adams or a Newcastle, which is what it reminded me of visually.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Final few sips were a bit more bitter than
the first, but overall a really nice start.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The Sunshine Wheat was a very light blonde color-almost looked too wispy
to have any real body but I was nicely surprised by this one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wife loved it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A very citrusy fragrance with a hint of
lemon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was served with a wedge of
orange, which the wife ate instead of squeezing into the beer, so perhaps we’ll
have to revisit this one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Check out New
Belgium at: <a href="http://www.newbelgium.com/"><span style="color: blue;">www.newbelgium.com/</span></a> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">For
round two, we decided to try the local Aurora brewers, Dry Dock Brewing
Company.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Bentfork had their IPA and
their “Apricot Blonde” on tap, and while I’m still not the world’s biggest IPA
fan, this one was well done and drinkable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Smooth, but a little bitter for my taste.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The winner here though was the Apricot
Blonde-holy flashback to childhood this was a good beer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was cloudy and presented a real richness
visually.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>First taste took me back in
time to when I was a kid at Shop Rite with my Mom doing the weekly groceries
and if I were good I got to pick a fruit roll from the special fruit roll
stand.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This was before you could buy
Fruit Roll Ups and Fruit by the foot and stuff.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It was a real special thing and when I was good, which was regrettably not
always, I used to get the Apricot Fruit Roll and I loved the daylights out of
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This beer brought me right back to
that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The wife loved it and it was a
really unique use of fruit in a beer that, for me anyway, didn’t overwhelm the
beer itself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was such a neat balance
of flavors. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She thought it was a perfect
complement to her Trout.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I thought it
would have been well paired with either Pork or Duck.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Really flavorful beer and seriously well
crafted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Definitely an early favorite
for beer of the week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Learn more about
them, as I hope to at <a href="http://www.drydockbrewing.com/"><span style="color: blue;">www.drydockbrewing.com</span></a>
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">At this
point we decided to head back to the room and catch some Olympics and
MasterChef (which wasn’t on…unacceptable) and do a slight bit more research
before hitting the ground running tomorrow.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">I
brought home the Boulder Beer Company’s “Hazed and Infused” in Bottle form and
Oskar Blues “Old Chub” Scottish Ale.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A
friend of mine recommended the “Hazed” and while I found it diverse and
interesting, it was slightly too hoppy for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It was clearly a beer to drink from the bottle as the bit I poured to
check color and fragrance were not as flavorful as the bottled remainder.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a unique beer and I wasn’t sure what to
make of it in the end.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I plan to try it
again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">I had
high hopes for the Oskar Blues beer as I had heard a lot about them, in
particular during my visit to the Sun King Brewery in Indianapolis.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This beer came in canned form and again I
found the sample I poured out to check color and fragrance to be inferior to
just drinking it from the can.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This may
be the best Scottish Ale I’ve ever had, and I’ve always felt guilty as and
Scots-Irish guy that I could never get behind Scottish Ale.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just never found one that I really liked
until tonight-this is a fresh and crisp Ale, really unique fragrance but no
unpleasant aftertaste and not at all unbalanced, as I’ve found other Scottish
Ales, including Samuel Adams Wintertime Scottish Ale.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is drinkable, refreshing and
delicious.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Another contender for beer of
the week, and we are only on day one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">So, we
are early on in our trip here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am
hoping to visit some of the breweries and brew-pubs tomorrow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My new friend Jonathan Shikes </span><em><span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><a href="http://twitter.com/colobeerman" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">@ColoBeerMan</span></a> </span></em><em><span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">on Twitter, has recommended trying
Downtown’s –<o:p></o:p></span></em></div>
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<em><span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">-Great Divide Brewing Company: <a href="http://greatdivide.com/"><span style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: blue;">http://greatdivide.com/</span></span></a><o:p></o:p></span></em></div>
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<em><span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">-The Denver Beer Company: <a href="http://denverbeerco.com/"><span style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: blue;">http://denverbeerco.com/</span></span></a><o:p></o:p></span></em></div>
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<em><span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">-The River North Brewery: <a href="http://rivernorthbrewery.com/"><span style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: blue;">http://rivernorthbrewery.com/</span></span></a><o:p></o:p></span></em></div>
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<em><span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">-The Wynkoop Brewing Company: <a href="http://www.wynkoop.com/"><span style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: blue;">http://www.wynkoop.com/</span></span></a><o:p></o:p></span></em></div>
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<em><span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">And the Falling Rock Tap House: <a href="http://fallingrocktaphouse.com/"><span style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: blue;">http://fallingrocktaphouse.com/</span></span></a><o:p></o:p></span></em></div>
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<em><span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">So, those places are on tap for tomorrow, assuming
I can figure out the public transportation into the city.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you know those spots and have an insight,
please share it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I like to go in
informed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></em></div>
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<em><span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; font-style: normal; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">Until then, we are enjoying our time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Looking forward to seeing more of the craft
beer scene, and the Rockies, and of course, Roller Derby on Thursday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, stay tuned.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Follow up on Facebook for more pictures, and
if you want to know something, just ask—until tomorrow, Aloha from CO!<o:p></o:p></span></em></div>
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</div>Aloha Kugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06120361414528917475noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-742455712298553676.post-51713591161915071122012-07-26T03:15:00.001-10:002012-07-26T03:15:42.445-10:00Kugs says Aloha to: Indianapolis<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">Yeah, I was rather
surprised too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had visited the city
once as a freshman swimmer at the DePauw University Swimming tournament in late
1991.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We didn’t get to see much of
anything but the inside of the Natatorium and the ridiculous purple curtains at
the Knights Inn we were booked at for the duration.<o:p></o:p></span>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">It was a memorable trip
as I recall.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was my first collegiate
swim tournament, and as such, was pretty fun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It was my first visit to Indiana, and as such, what I saw at the time
felt flat and boring.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was also the
trip where I started dating a girl who went on to inspire several good break-up
songs after she dumped me unceremoniously a scant seven weeks later.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In an airport.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I still hate Florida.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">As such, I had honestly
been in no hurry to head back to “The Crossroads of America.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That said, the wife had a work thing, and the
in-laws agreed to take the kids to art camp up in Jersey, and we found a cheap
flight, and bada-bing: I’m on my way to Indianapolis.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">The wife was going to
work the weekdays, so I knew I would have to entertain myself, which, truth be
told, is rarely a problem.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m pretty
easily entertained.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I planned to spend
copious amounts of time in the gym and pool, and thought I might even bring out
the novel and work on the draft of the new sections.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I even toyed with dusting off a few other
projects and then letting myself get lost in the writing of them again, in hopes
that they took off.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">But I changed my
mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Last year when we did a similar
she works/I play trip to San Francisco, I brought an older project to work
on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After a few hours I wasn’t into it
and found myself wanting to taste the flavor of the city.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, in planning my trip, I started to think
about taking a new approach to this space.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I’d never really explored Indianapolis before, so, why not find a way to
make that into something interesting?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Why not indeed?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What’s happening
in Indianapolis that I can write about?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Peyton Manning is gone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are
no races at the Speedway that weekend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There are no 5k races for me to trod through.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What else is new and hot there that I have
some kind of background in?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">And lo, and behold,
like a blast of foam, the answer appeared: Why not write about beer?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">Now, in the interest of
full disclosure, I haven’t been drinking a lot of beer lately.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Regular readers of this space will know that
I’ve recently gotten myself into shape and lost eighty pounds or so, and beer
has been one of the items I’ve limited in that effort.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, I learned that the Indianapolis craft
beer scene (don’t call them “Micro”) has exploded over the last decade, led by
a variety of craft brewers including Rock Bottom Brewery, The Ram, Sun King
Brewing, Flat 12, Upland Brewery, Triton, Three Floyds, and others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There seems to be a genuine craft beer scene
that was very interesting to investigate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Beyond that, Indianapolis turned out to be an interesting city with an
intriguing past that turned my trip into a very unexpected pleasure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">Not that I didn’t plan
to have fun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I just didn’t realize how
much the people I met and the city itself would play a role in it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have written copious amounts about the
people with whom I’ve interacted over the years of this column, and
beyond.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s just not usually
positive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ll say this as we start
though: people in Indianapolis are nice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Genuinely nice, and in my limited interaction with them, they showed a
great deal of aloha.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">That said, this will
not be a column solely about beer, though I will admit I had somewhat planned
on doing just a straight review of the beers I tasted, over thirty of them in
the end.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead of that, I hope this will
be real look inside my own trip, which was admittedly taken with beer in
mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I did certainly learn a lot
about the craft beers of Indianapolis--Had fun doing it too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But my hope is that this column will reach a
bit higher than just how the beer tasted.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">That said, cheers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let’s get to it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">We arrived on Monday
after dropping the kids at her parents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s always odd for me to be more than a few hours without them as it so
rarely happens, but once we fall into the understanding that her parents are
taking good care of them, we tend to really try to enjoy ourselves. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">My initial reaction to
Indy was that it reminded me of Cleveland but without the abandoned Flats.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We walked through the city a bit before
settling in at The Rathskeller, which is now a German-style restaurant in the
Historic Athenaeum Building, which I learned was designed by the grandfather of
one of my literary heroes, Kurt Vonnegut.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The building was designed as a German community center back in the
1800’s, and while it remains a gorgeous building, I imagine it had a very
different feel and purpose in its time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We had dinner there, and the food and drink were tremendous.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I highly recommend the sausage
appetizer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Might be enough for your
whole meal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you order a big beer,
mean it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They do it up right.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">You can learn more
about them at </span><a href="http://www.rathskeller.com/"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><span style="color: blue;">www.rathskeller.com</span></span></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">
– also, if you’re a Vonnegut fan like me, there’s a bust of him in the private
room across from the men’s room.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I took
a picture.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">I am rather ashamed
that I had forgotten the history Vonnegut had with this city.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was born there and his family had deep
roots in the city.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kurt has always been
one of my “go-to” authors when I needed inspiration to both write and think
differently.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I had forced myself into
a writers break last Fall, I was avoiding Kurt too it seems, and I was
pleasantly surprised to find “Uncle Kurt,” as I used to call him as a teacher,
all over the city.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A bust here, a three
story mural there-it was refreshing and visiting the memorial library at the
end of the week was a real treat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a
small space, but I found it energizing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You can learn more about them here: </span><a href="http://www.vonnegutlibrary.org/"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><span style="color: blue;">http://www.vonnegutlibrary.org/</span></span></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">But my renewal of faith
in writing through Kurt notwithstanding, I was really impressed with the city
of Indianapolis at large.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Canal area
is beautiful and the city clearly has made an effort to be at its best, which
I’m certain hosting a recent Super Bowl will do to most cities.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In general I found the city to be clean and
breezy (as compared to Virginia in the summer especially) and open and
friendly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every person I dealt with went
out of their way to ask me if I was having a good day, and if there was
anything I needed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">On Tuesday, while the
wife worked, I walked from the Downtown area all the way to Broad Ripple
Village, which amounted to about 7 miles or so in the end.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t quite realize it would be that long,
but figured that if I were about the go off the reservation with my craft beer
research, the least I could do was earn it diet-wise.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, after walking along the canal, I walked
east onto College Avenue and headed north.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>What I saw along the way was a very interesting sampling of the
city.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is a lot of space in this
city and I mean that in a good way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Every building is not directly next to its neighbor, nor is there a
penchant for building things as high as possible and smushing everything into
wherever there is any open space, like in New York, which I visited
recently.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Building on top of building it
always felt like in NYC, even when I was a kid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Seemed like a game of living Tetris the last few times I’ve been in
Manhattan, and having been there last month, I found the openness of
Indianapolis refreshing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I realize
that’s not an uncommon mid-western architectural ideal, and in that respect it
reminded me of Honolulu a bit, if only due to the air flow.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">I was also impressed
with the buildings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There seems to be a
real mandate on the city to preserve buildings that exist, even when they have
lost their original purpose.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I saw old
churches that had been converted into apartments or a community center.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I even saw an older house that was for sale
onto which someone had plastered a sign, “Remodel it-Don’t demolish it!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I really appreciated that as an aficionado of
older real estate, as evidenced by our love of the older homes at the Jersey
shore, which we’ve discussed here before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Progress is wonderful, but there is value in retaining a sense of what
existed before as a community developed along the way to today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I got a real sense of that as I walked
through the city.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It struck me very much
as a city with pride and with an eye on the future, without abandoning its past
as a result.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">So, after my
Sherpa-like trek through Northern Indianapolis, I finally arrived at Broad
Ripple Village.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And it was a treat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It reminded me the Village in NYC crossed
with New Hope in Pennsylvania, but on a smaller town scale.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was hip, but not hipster.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I walked the length of it before deciding to
settle in for my first bar stop at the Union Jack Pub.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can find them at: </span><a href="http://www.unionjackpub-broadripple.com/"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><span style="color: blue;">http://www.unionjackpub-broadripple.com/</span></span></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">I sat at the Bar and talked
with Amy, who was kind as to let me plug in my dying cell phone at one of the
bar outlets.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Very cool.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I asked her about the local craft beers
available and her first recommendation was the Sun King “Firefly,” which is a
Belgian style Wit beer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is not a
style of beer I typically go nuts for, but I trusted Amy’s suggestion, and I
was not disappointed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had it in draft
form, which is my preferred drinking style, and was deeply impressed with the
color right from the start.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a
rich orange, far darker than a Blue Moon style thing, which I was
expecting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A substantial head, thick
like a Boddington’s.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On first taste it
was smooth and refreshing, especially as I had just walked all day to get there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A very fresh and mellow taste.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was citrusy towards the bottom, but it
didn’t taste like a wine cooler or a fruity beer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was clearly a well-crafted beer with a
hint of Orange peel and clove, which reminded me of my Grandmother’s Cranberry
relish.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a really, really good
start to my research and put me on notice that Sun King Brewery was going to be
a player in my study of the local craft beers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I had no idea how much that would play out during the week, but on first
taste, I was impressed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">After the Sun King
Firefly, I sampled Sun King’s “Wee Mac Scottish Ale,” on draft, which was
honestly just ok for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mellow, and
certainly well made, but not something I would drink regularly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">I then moved into a few
beers made by Upland Brewery, which is from Bloomington, Indiana.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I sampled their “Pale Ale,” and “Bad Elmer
Porter.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They were only available in
bottles, though they had some very nice labels.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The Pale Ale had a great smell which reminded me of Kona’s Waliua
Wheat-very fresh and fragrant, but the taste was poor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Very bitter and a bit watery for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I tried the Porter and again, their artwork
is very cool, but this came off syrupy and a bit skunky.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t care for it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">With that, I moved back
to Sun King and tried their “Sunlight Cream Ale.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Served in a pub can, Amy said it is among
their most popular items.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The can is
cool.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The art is really well done.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The beer had a very nice color and creamy
thick head on pour into a glass.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
looked great before I tried it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On first
taste, I liked it, but I wasn’t sure why.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It was not quite the taste I was expecting but I liked it anyway.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The can says it’s Sun King’s “Most
Approachable Beer,” and I was initially unsure what that meant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was pleasant but not overwhelming and was
easy to drink.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My initial thought was
that people who don’t normally drink beer might enjoy this, and perhaps that is
what they were going for.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It struck me
as a great poolside or beach beer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">So, at this point I had
enjoyed a few Sun Kings and a Rueben sandwich, and tasted a few disappointing
bottles from Upland and the wife was done at work and heading my way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had also learned from Amy that Sun King was
very popular in the community as they are right in the city and that people
seem to like the fact that they are so local.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">So the wife arrives and
we walk about the Village a bit more and decide to continue my research at the
Broad Ripple Tavern.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can learn more
about them here: </span><a href="http://www.broadrippletavern.com/"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><span style="color: blue;">http://www.broadrippletavern.com/</span></span></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">We sat down and met
Hallie, our server and Larry, the General Manager.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Having tried a few Sun Kings and Uplands, I
was interested in trying something different by way of comparison, and Hallie
recommended trying Flat 12’s “Walkabout Pale Ale,” as it is among their more
popular beers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On draft it was amazingly
fragrant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The wife thought it smelled
like a Kona Wailua Wheat too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were
very excited about it until we tasted it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It had a very strong aftertaste and was bitter in a way that was not
expected from a pale ale.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was far
superior to the Upland Pale Ale, but it came off kind of syrupy for me, for an
Ale.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">We branched out further
and tried Triton Brewing Company’s “Magnificent Amber” in bottle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It had a color that reminded me of a
Newcastle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hallie suggested we pour it
into a glass, and I think that was a good call as I found it to be kind of an
“accessible” beer like the Sun King Cream Ale had been.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A safe beer-not a bad one, but more a beer
that was just kind of there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hallie made
the point that some of the local places were attempting to make beer that was
accessible to people that were not really into craft beer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I completely understood what she meant as
this was not a bad beer, not at all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
was simply one that I don’t think I needed to try again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Again, just my palate at stake here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">We then tried a can of
the Sun King “Osiris.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Again, the art on
the can was wicked cool.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On pour into
the glass it gave a nice thick head and an alright color.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This one was a bit too hoppy for me and
perhaps more bitter than I like, but again, the quality of the actual liquid
still showed a superiority to the a few of the others sampled.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Also tried an Upland Wheat Ale bottle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was watery and I have nothing else to say
about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">Hallie and Larry took
excellent care of us at the Broad Ripple Tavern.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They both indicated that Sun King had gone
out of their way to get connected to the community and recommended that I stop
by their brewery.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">Over the next day I
tried a Flat 12 Amber and a 312 Urban Wheat Ale at The Elbow Room in
Midtown.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everything there was fine yet
unremarkable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the meantime we saw a
movie or two and I largely took a few hours off until I arrived at the Rock
Bottom Brewery on Washington Street.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They
are a larger chain and this is the location I visited: </span><a href="http://rockbottom.com/indianapolis-downtown"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><span style="color: blue;">http://rockbottom.com/indianapolis-downtown</span></span></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">Jamie set me up with an
initial draft sampler that included their Kolsch, IPA, Red Ale, and the
ESB.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Kolsch was a very light and
refreshing beer-fragrant and smooth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No
noticeable aftertaste.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A very nice
beginning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The IPA, which Jamie says is
among their most popular, is very good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I’m not the world’s biggest IPA fan, but this was really a nice
surprise.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not overly hoppy or watery as
the Upland and Flat 12’s were.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Flavorful
but no lingering aftertaste.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Definitely
a well-made beer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Red was just ok
for me-very attractive color.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The ESB
was well crafted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fragrance-wise it
reminded me of a porter but obviously didn’t taste like one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Made me hungry for a baked scrod or a
blackened catfish.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I ordered a Rueben
instead.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While I awaited the Rueben I
started on my next draft sampler including the Summer Honey Ale, Belgian White,
Hefeweizen, Stout, and Belgian IPA.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
Summer Honey Ale was very refreshing-reminded me of Sam Adams Summer Ale, but I
enjoyed this one a lot more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Smoother
and not as overly citrusy like Sam.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Great
poolside beer on a hot day with only a slight, but not unpleasant, aftertaste.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jamie tells me they sell a ton of this
one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Belgian White looked and tasted
like a Blue Moon to me, which is not my favorite.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A bit yeasty for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Hefeweizen was ok, but the real winner of
the day for me was the Stout.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Holy cow
this is one of the best beers I have EVER had.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Jamie said it’s a Milk Stout, and although it looked like a Guinness, it
could not have tasted less like one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Don’t get me wrong, I am a fan of Guinness, but this Rock Bottom Stout
was simply amazing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Almost a lilting
flavor where one might have expected bitterness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It reminded me of the first time I ever tried
coffee and I loaded it up with sugar and milk in order to make it palatable
after a lifetime of never drinking the stuff.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It was flavorful in a way that completely surprised me and not overly
filling like I can find some Stouts to be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There’s a bitter sweetness to it that made me sad to see the bottom of
the glass.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would later order a few
big-kid size glasses of this after I had sampled everything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thinking back on it now I’m still impressed
and seriously stoked that there’s a Rock Bottom in Northern Virginia, and
seriously disappointed that they don’t seem to have it listed on their
available beers there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I may have to
call and check on that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">I was still reeling
from the Stout when I tried the Belgian IPA.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It was fine but didn’t have much of a shot after the liquid joy that the
Stout had brought.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Rueben was excellent-thinly
sliced corned beef but not overly gloopy dressing and so forth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jamie and Ken, my new friend at the bar told
me to check out Shapiro’s Deli for the best Rueben in Indianapolis.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While I didn’t get the chance to do that, I
trust their judgment and would recommend checking them out: </span><a href="http://www.shapiros.com/"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><span style="color: blue;">www.shapiros.com</span></span></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">At that point, though I
was having a delightful time chatting with Jamie and Ken and the other guy whose
name I didn’t get, it was time then to make the walk down Washington Street to
College Avenue and check out the Sun King Brewery and their tasting room.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was really excited for this visit as at
this point, Sun King’s Firefly beer was in a slight lead for “Best Beer of the
Week,” though the Rock Bottom Stout was making it interesting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had not had a bad Sun King Beer yet, and
everywhere I went, people seemed to be very into the vibe they put out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Almost every bar I passed seemed to have a
sign or a comment on their specials board that they had Sun King inside.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I made my way across town in the
blistering heat, I definitely worked up a thirst.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I crossed College Avenue I was excited,
almost to the point that I missed the “Tasting Room Closed for Renovations”
sign.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">I started hearing the
“Sad Brady Bunch Music” in my head.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
saw a tent with a few interns sitting at a table where they were offering
disappointed customers a gift credit towards a free growler when they re-opened
the next week, which wouldn’t do much for me leaving town the next day, but I
walked over anyway, hoping I could learn something.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The interns were nice, and then I met Judi,
who had just stepped out of the brewery to save my day, and this column.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">Sun King’s website
describes Judi’s role at the Brewery as: “Merchandise Manager / Bouncer / House
Mom / Sanitary Engineer / Someone you don't want to mess with...”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They should add public relations to that
description as she did more to sell me on what Sun King is trying to do in
Indianapolis in five minutes than all the marketing in the world could do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She went out of her way to give your truly,
an admittedly small-timer in the blogosphere, incredible access and openness to
their product and facility.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I spoke with
her and Shane, the guy behind their extremely cool artwork, for about fifteen
minutes or so before I figured I’d taken up enough of their time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I turned to leave, she calls me back to
meet her husband, Omar, who had just completed a meeting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Omar is the President and Co-owner of the
company.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After chatting outside for a
few minutes, he welcomed me into the facility where we talked in his office
before I was given a private tour and the chance to meet one of the brewers and
several of the staff.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">I learned a great deal
about Sun King: in the three years they’ve been operating, they have made it
their mission to “become THE beer of Indianapolis.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dave and Clay, their brewers spent years
brewing locally for the Rock Bottom, The Ram, and the now closed Circle V.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While the Rock Bottom and The Ram both brew
locally, they are much larger chains, leaving Sun King as, according to Omar
the first locally based brewery in the city since the Indianapolis Brewing
Company closed in 1947.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I asked if
they modeled their business plan after any other craft breweries such as Samuel
Adams and Yuengling, Omar replied, “No models per se.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’ve taken pieces of each and mostly did our
own thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The boys (Brewers Dave and
Clay) knew what they were doing.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s
very pleased with the good relationship that they’ve developed with the city,
and shared with me that their tasting room hours (Thursday 4-7pm, Friday
12-7pm, Saturday 1-5pm) often serve between 600-900 visitors.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They’ve experienced steady growth and are
expanding into some new buildings and look to introduce a line of Bourbon in
the fall.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As we finished our tour, I
asked Omar what their longer-range objectives were, beyond becoming
Indianapolis’s beer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He smiled as he
replied, “Become Indiana’s beer.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While
there are some local political issues that currently limit the number of barrels
they can bring to market, I have little doubt that their attitude, approach,
and genuinely fine products will make that a reachable goal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">I thanked Omar and Judi
for their time, which I really appreciated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>As I have mentioned, and as readers of this space already know, this is
a small and irregularly-published column.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The level of access and respect they afforded me was incredibly
generous.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I mentioned that to them,
Omar laughed and said, “You’re who we’re trying to reach.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If we can’t take care of you, we shouldn’t be
in this business.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I really enjoyed
meeting the crew at Sun King.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Especially
as I missed a visit to the tasting room, I know what my first order of business
will be next time the wife has to travel to work in Indy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">Later that evening I
had the opportunity to sample another Upland, this one a “Rad Red Amber Ale,” a
Pale Ale from Blind Tiger Brewery, and a Triton “Rail Splitter IPA.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was not a fan of any of them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">Our last day in the
city we made time to stop by The Ram, which had been recommended to us by a
number of people, including the guy who checked us out of our room at the
Hilton.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wasn’t certain we would have
time, but after seeing “Ted” at the Regal Cinema; we discovered there was time
before we boarded the shuttle to the airport.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>What better way to end our trip then with a few more samples?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Feel free to check them out here: </span><a href="http://www.theram.com/indiana/indianapolis.html"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><span style="color: blue;">http://www.theram.com/indiana/indianapolis.html</span></span></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">We tried the draft
sampler again, as I really didn’t think I had six full beers in me in the
limited time span.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Plus, I am still a
recovering fat guy…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The sampler included
the “Total Disorder” Porter, Buttface Amber, Big Red IPA, 71 Pale Ale,
Hefeweizen, and Big Horn Blonde.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I later
tried the Barefoot Wit Belgian White Ale.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The winners here, for me, were the Porter and surprisingly, the Big Red
IPA.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Porter had a very smooth milky
finish and a hint of coffee undertones, great color and fragrance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>An excellent beer that reminded me of the
Stout from Rock Bottom Brewery.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Big
Red IPA was really fragrant and smooth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Had a slight bitterness in the aftertaste that was not unpleasant and
inspired me to take another sip.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Probably a good quality in a beer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The “Buttface Amber” was pretty good too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We weren’t there long enough for me to talk
to our server much, but overall the experience was a good one and I’d go there
again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I regret I didn’t get to try the
other beers they had on tap, but, there’s always next time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">In the end, I think my
beer of the week goes to the first one that I sampled up in Broad Ripple, Sun
King’s Firefly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A very close second goes
to the Rock Bottom Stout, and honorable mention to the Total Disorder Porter
from the Ram.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">And with that, we said
Aloha to Indianapolis.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was surprised
how much I enjoyed the city, as I’m not traditionally a city kinda guy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I appreciated how people I interacted with
genuinely seemed interested in how my day was going, and were friendly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s not something I see as often living here
in Northern Virginia.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At least half the
time I’m at a restaurant, a store, or otherwise engaging in commerce, I feel as
though I’ve imposed on someone for simply existing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I got the exact opposite feeling in
Indy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Case in point, early in the trip,
knowing we’ve got three kids back East expecting gifts from our trip, we
stopped by the Mass Ave Toy store (</span><a href="http://www.massavetoys.com/"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><span style="color: blue;">http://www.massavetoys.com/</span></span></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">
).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were enthusiastically greeted as
we came in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I go into a lot of toy
stores by the way-not all of them greet you at all much less
enthusiastically.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After perusing for a
while, Anna came over to help us and once she learned that we were looking for
items for a child with Asperger’s, she excitedly shared with us several items
that she’d recently learned about at a “Therapeutic Toy Conference.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She didn’t say, “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that”
or otherwise seem uncomfortable about what we had shared, rather she couldn’t
wait to show us a whole bunch of stuff that she thought the kid would
like.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And she was right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We bought a ton of stuff.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Great customer service-who knew it still
existed?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And she was just another
example of how the people of Indianapolis really seemed to care about the
experience we were having in their city.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There’s a pride there that was palpable and understandable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To date there have been only two cities that
I would ever have considered living in: Dublin and Philadelphia.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, I won’t go so far as to say I’m adding
Indianapolis to the list, but I won’t say I wouldn’t think about it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">My next column will
likely cover Denver in similar fashion, so please comment or email me with
suggestions of things to see and experience when, next month,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kugs
says Aloha to the Mile High City!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>Aloha Kugshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06120361414528917475noreply@blogger.com4