And he stood right up to the little Turd.

We have a regular playgroup at a local park. I take all three of the kids there after we go to the library story-time and pick up lunch. It’s a nice group of parents and kids, and overall it’s been a really positive group for us. As it’s based out of the MOMS club, of which locally I am NOT the only male member, it’s pretty well organized and managed, and we all tend to do pretty well there.

The park in question, up in Makakilo is a pretty solid park. It’s one of the few on Oahu that have both shade and swings. (Don’t ask…) We’ve never had much trouble there, although there have been a few xenophobic moments on the part of others.

There’s been a summer camp using the facilities there for the past few weeks, but we’ve been pretty much outside their schedule most of the time, but not all. It’s kind of overwhelming for the younger crowd in our group, but we have managed during the times that we have all had to share the space, and in general, we’ve done fine.

Had a ‘lil wrinkle today. There was a boy from the camp, I would guess to be six or seven. From the minute he ran out onto the playground, my educator instincts cued on him, even though I am retired. He was bossy, pushy, and even threw a rock at someone. But the teenagers who were the “adult supervisors” were a bit preoccupied with their friends who had show up to hang out on the benches off to the side and catch up on their summer reading assignments, it would seem, as they were quite intently discussing something of great importance, leaving the youngsters to their own devices….

So this little turd ran roughshod over the park. He kept himself focused on the kids in his own circle, until my boy happened to be sitting on the ground, playing in his favorite little sand-pile in the shade over by the tree by the swings. “Turd Boy” was on line to use the swings, and walked over to my Boyo, and said: “You go home! You don’t belong here! You go home now!” and waited for him to go home, it would seem.

And my Boyo stood up, and at three, was equal to this six year old in height. (and yes, God help me I totally beamed on that!) He looked him right in the face and said “NO! I WON’T go home!” and stood there right in his grill. He didn’t hit the kid. He didn’t lose his cool or his mind, which, having been party to some of his tantrums, I was a little concerned about, but I chose to take the “Crush” from “Finding Nemo: Let us see what [the boyo] does flying solo” approach.

“Crush” of course is a Sea Turtle, or as they call them here, Honu, who helps Marlin and Dory get through the EAC, and thus closer to finding the aforementioned, Nemo. He totally spouts off a solid amount of wisdom in a very short scene, which you can refresh yourself on here: http://youtube.com/watch?v=YjtcbO3NqlE

So I moved closer, watching what the Boyo did, now face to face with his first bully. The little camp turd again said, “You go Home!” to which my boy said again, “NO! I Won’t go home, I won’t!” and stood there as tall as a three year old can do.

The turd boy didn’t have a response to that. At this point I took my Boyo’s hand and led him back towards our group, saying “That’s right pal, we’re not going home.” It was at this point the little turd picked up a rock and chucked it at someone, regrettably unnoticed by his teen counselors.

Now, I like to think of myself as a pretty mellow guy, especially since we relocated here to Oahu. I’m retired from the grind and politics and foccactedness that was working in education and living in a place with a much slower pace than suburban New Jersey, God bless it. But I’d be lying if there wasn’t a part of me that didn’t want to punt that little turd across the playground.
But, something came over me, and I decided to see what the Boyo would do flying solo. He stood up for himself. He said "no" to an older kid who was trying to bully him, and I would imagine, by association, his sisters and the other kids in our group.

Now, I may be overstating it, but damned if I didn’t beam with pride seeing my boy stand up for himself. I pulled him aside after and told him that I was proud of him for standing up for himself, and that no one deserves to be bullied. I reminded him that he shouldn’t bully other kids, but that I was proud of him for standing his ground.

Now I know that he and his sister are three, and the bear is 1.5, but I always try to talk to them directly. I’m the last guy that’s going to nominate myself for Father of the year, but I make a point of trying to always tell the truth, even if sometimes the concepts or words are a little beyond them. They seem to pick up more often then not, and I’m not one to dumb it down. I didn’t do that when I was teaching Vonnegut, so why would I do it with my own kids? After all, the Boyo and his sister told me the other day that Kellog's Raisin Bran was "Delicious and Nutritious." I'm not going to frack around with that vocabulary.

It’s late, and I should probably have written this right when I got home, but well, with three kids and a wife and house to manage, I really didn’t get a chance until just now. So I guess I'll have to settle for this level of verbosity.

So-my kid stood up to a kid twice his age. I was proud of him. This island is a strange place in a lot of ways, and this won’t be the last he, or any of us face a bully, or discrimination. That’s been a hard truth to realize coming to live here. I was proud that he stood up, and more proud that he didn’t attack the kid. Maybe I’m making too much of it, but I think if you’re a parent, and you’ve got a kid who‘s had a similar moment where you got to see what they‘d do facing that hard choice, and been proud of them, you just might get it. I hope it’s not just a guy thing-I admit that might be a part of it…I can’t deny the testosterone factor…my Boyo was strong...

But he’s a good kid-just like his sisters, and with the twins starting pre-school in three weeks, I’ll admit that there is a part of me that has been wondering who they might be once they start that experience. Would they be bullies? Would they be the kids that cry all the time? Would one of them be that kid that never talks? I suppose I don’t yet know any of that, but I was pleased to see my kid look a bully dead in the eye and say No!

He said, "No-I won’t go home." And we didn’t.