After our return from the mainland, the wife and I took time and stayed home, starting the process of potty training in full, meaning no more diapers, except at night. We’ve been working the edges of this process for a while, but we decided to go cold turkey last week.
Been a long week.
Day one was rough. While the kids were excited to wear their big kid undies, they were perhaps so excited that they…um, well, showed their excitement. Over, and over and over. And over. We had a lot of cleanups on Day one. It was a rather trying day for all, but over subsequent days there was improvement and success, in addition to regressions and frustration, sometimes in equal measure. We made some adjustments, like buying a new “Disney Princesses” potty for the girl, and letting the boys put “Thomas the Tank Engine” stickers all over his potty. That helped a lot. We then moved the units into the living room, and tried using the TV as both an incentive and reward…just to get things moving. So to speak.
We found some progress there, but I think our early mistake was by thinking that hunkering down in the house and essentially staying in for a week was the way to go. It was simply way too much time at home. I got frustrated, and so did they. I’ve talked about scheduling and over-scheduling in this space before, and I think what I fell prey to this time was no schedule at all. The kids were kinda floundering around, and so was I. I think we all overdosed on “Thomas” and “Angelina Ballerina” not to mention the surprisingly singable, “Elmo’s Potty Time,” which features classics such as “Accidents Happen” (And That’s OK!), and “Dirty Diaper Blues.” Truly, a modern masterpiece.
So, the last few days, we’ve worked towards getting back out of the house. Day seven, we went potty, and then left the house for a daring journey down the road to McDonald’s for a “Kung Fu Panda” Happy Meal. We would have done that on day 6, except the mere suggestion of leaving the house on day 6 for some reason inspired the boy to tear off all his clothes and roll around the floor in a ball. The girl responded by running upstairs and hiding behind Snoopy.
Day 8 involved a longer drive, and a trip to the park. Day 8 also involved the first usage of the new “Trunk Potty system.” We simply put their potties in the trunk of the Van, and bada-bing: Instant travel system. They hop on their potties before we leave the car and when we get back in. We had two accidents at the park, but they were rather minor all things considered. Getting on the playground was like meeting my kids again for the first time in a week-I hadn’t seen them smile and laugh in a little while, and they were so happy to be outside running around. Even though we kept it short, it made all the difference, and I knew that we were ready to turn the corner and get back to our lives again. It was then I realized that it was mistake to hunker down in the house, and that we were done with that philosophy entirely. Maybe it worked for “John and Kate Plus 8,” but as I’ve said before, they are characters on a TV show, and in my opinion, “reality TV” tends to be anything but real. That said, if anyone from a network wants to write me a check and follow me around with a camera, I’ll give them a show they’ll enjoy. I’ll be happy to accept suggestions of titles in the comment section. Perhaps we’ll have a poll. Or not.
Day 9, today, which happens to be our wedding anniversary, has been a pretty solid day from the potty-preparedness front. The kids demeanor has settled down, and they appear far less stressed than they have been. We hit the library, drove thru Starbucks, and then went to our MOMS club playgroup at an outdoor park. I knew we were going to keep them all short visits, but in general, they did very well. We had one tiny accident earlier today that may actually have been a spilled cup…circumstantial evidence at best, so I’m calling today a high-success day indeed. Their TV dependence is down, their frustration is down, as is mine, and we are getting back to some level of normalcy.
We still have a ways to go. The kids are going, but we are still prompting them regularly. I look forward to them moving to the potty on their own more than they do. But they are doing well and are proud of themselves.
I think there’s a reason that most people don’t remember wearing diapers: I think we block it out once we’ve learned to handle it ourselves. It’s like a relative that you know exists but pretend doesn’t. Like that drunk uncle you don’t talk to at family reunions, or that co-worker that you pretend you don’t hear while you’re walking to the car and simply have no interest in their pictures of the rare Borneo dung beetle from their trip over break. Or perhaps its like that ex-girlfriend that you pretend you don’t see at the Dairy Queen with her new boyfriend, and he’s spooning her a bite of his Blizzard resting his hand on the jeans that still have your name written on them in a little red heart and….
Ok, maybe it’s not like that. But I think it’s probably a bigger transition than I realized. And I think there’s a reason most people never remember wearing diapers. And there are certainly aspects of this process that I won’t wish to remember, but will. And when we are done I’ll know that the twins have taken a big step into a larger world, and maybe I will have as well.
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