Everyone who does so thinks they are the first person to tell me that "Kate" from "John and Kate Plus 8" is a great show, and that I should watch it and make notes-especially about potty training. I've seen the show. I don't care for it for a variety of reasons, the nicer of which can be summed up with the following: How many cops watch cop shows to unwind? Of the cops I know, it's not so common. The wife doesn't like prison shows. I didn't like school shows. So, I don't like "John and Kate," but really, I kinda seriously don't like "Kate." She's nasty, mean and condescending. But I digress...
Training twins to use the potty has turned into a daunting task. While we have had some early successes, it is clear that I am not “Kate." I put her name in quotes, because she is a character on a TV show, and in my opinion, not a real person, at least in regards that nothing filmed for TV is “real.”
Honestly, how real can you be with a camera crew, lights, and director, and likely a few lawyers bopping around your house? I submit, not all that real.
But I digress. Kate’s MENSA kids are clearly all classically potty-trained and I’m sure ready to pass the bar exam, while the twins and I continue to vacillate between 10-second sitdowns, followed by “I’m done” and a desperate run to the newly instituted “Prize bag” for successful attempts, only to be reminded that the prize bag is only for when they actually go. I’ll spare you, gentle reader the particulars of our vocabulary in those interactions. Or, maybe I just don’t want to type it…
But we keep trying.
This project has coincided with the boy’s recent acquisition of eye glasses. If you’ve ever tried to get a three year old active boy to keep his glasses on, please send me your secrets. He does well with them overall, and he clearly sees better with them, but he’s a boy, and he and his twin sister are both now going through a spectacularly wonderful “But I don’t want to” and “I want to now” phase that I’m finding particularly pleasant. When I was the Vice Principal, I could send a kid home for such defiance. Times have changed, not that anyone at my old school would notice, but that’s another topic entirely.
This phase has been further complicated by the tremendously exciting development of the little bear. She’s doing wind sprints now, dancing (with impressive rhythm) to all the right songs, kicking during swim lessons, floating on the aqua-noodle by herself, and fully embracing new words including Duck, snack, Mommy, Daddy, and perhaps most in line with her siblings, the word “no.”
Needless to say, I think they’ve learned, much to my chagrin, that they outnumber me.
That said, the boy can now count to ten in Japanese. The girl can do it in Spanish. Both twins can do addition up to 1 + 10=11, most of the time.
Oh, and I believe that I am now the first male member of a local MOMS club. They’ve been very nice, and I think will present us with some very cool outlets for the kids.
The wife brought the twins to their morning program today. All the other moms greeted her with, “oh, you’re the Mom.” They were of course nice to her, but it seems they’ve gotten used to me. A little scary.
So, in my reflective moments these days, I try to remember what it was like to not know how to use the potty, so I can relate. But, I think it’s one of those things we block out once it clicks. Here’s hoping for click-age. I’m sure “Kate” has it all figured out for herself, but in the episodes I’ve watched, she’s not real nice to her husband…or anyone else for that matter.
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