I had put the bear up for a nap, and was about 10 steps away, when not only heard but felt a “thud” and then heard a giggle, followed by the perilous sound of her bedroom door opening. I didn’t need to walk out to see what had happened…
She got big.
More specifically, no longer desirous to be confined to her crib, she taught herself how to “Spider-girl” herself out, without injury, and was now categorically refusing to stay in for a nap, while her brother and sister were enjoying “play time,” the latest addition to her burgeoning vocabulary. I sighed, knowing that once again, transition had been thrust upon our family, when
I for one, was really not ready for it.
She’s my littlest. She’s the baby. She’s the one I finally get some solo time with now that the twins are in school. This is my little bear…who isn’t interested in being little anymore. She’s got Big-kid-it-is something awful, and this latest installment is just another reminder that all three of them are growing up.
When this happened with the twins back in Jersey, it was the boyo who first created the now famous “thud heard round the house” and his wasn’t as graceful it seems as his baby sister, as I remember him crying briefly, before realizing he was free. Being less experienced parents then, we panicked and into toddler beds they went that night. Immediately. With no transition.
OK, so that went well. I remember the boy did fine with it, as he tends to do about all things involving sleep. His twin sister on the other hand, was an absolute mess. I remember trying everything: putting her in the car at 2am in hopes she’d nod off, which she did. Until I tried to put her in bed. I tried holding her and rocking, and nothing worked. She screamed all night long, to the point that I got a total of four minutes of non-concurrent sleep. It was awful. I had a 14 hour day the next day too. As I recall, a lot of kids got suspended that day. But I digress.
Eventually the twins leveled out. And as with all things parental, we forgot all about that experience until just about two days ago.
So, the bear climbed out. I put her back in to see how she was doing it, and it was a very solid cross balance climb, using the corner, very solid bouldering technique. But what’s more, I knew that there was genuine potential for injury with the four-foot fall, despite my confidence in her ability.
So, out went the crib. Mattress to the floor. Forced transition and caterwauling like you would simply not believe.
I suppose you could say that we didn’t learn anything from the first time we went through it, but I disagree. We put a latch on the door to keep her in the room, and I just let her scream now, whereas with her sister, I went to pick her up and try to comfort her. If she falls asleep on the floor, works for me. She wakes up with carpet face, she has a bed available-she’s a smart kid. She’ll figure it out. I’ve gotten quite good at letting them cry it out-in fact you could say its one of my better maneuvers. And although we are only a few nights in, it seems to be easing a bit. She was near her bed when I got her up this morning. She’ll figure it out.
I hope my attitude does not sound callous. It’s not that I have no emotion about the whole thing-I was not ready for this at all, and as I’ve written before in this space, these children and our family are my full time devotion, now that I’m retired. (Haven’t heard if Brett Favre read my column on retirement yet-stay tuned) I feel very much a loss of her as a little kid these days-she wants to walk everywhere by herself; She is far less interested in being held; she wants to play with the big kids; she tries on all of her sister’s clothes while they are at school; she is far more assertive and likely to disagree with me for no apparent reason. But, that’s how it goes I suppose. I could spend that time lamenting the loss of her as a little kid, or embrace her developing personality and assertiveness.
I’ll go with the growth, but it’s with a little heaviness. But, every now and then, she’ll walk over and tackle me and give me a big kiss. And that rules.
Especially in light of the fact that someday, perhaps she’ll be less likely to do that either.
And so they grow.
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